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Author Topic: My town sucks  (Read 4005 times)

Awayfarer

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Re: My town sucks... The #1 Hit Song!
« Reply #30 on: April 23, 2009, 11:46:06 am »

My town sucks

There are rednecks in trucks
Shooting ducks
From the backs of their pickup trucks
On maaaaaaaain streeeeet.

There’s tobacco spittle running down the walls
Of the city hall
Like a waterfall
Can’t stand it at all.
My town sucks

(Refrain: A few seconds of whistling)

My town sucks

There are racist cops
In the donut shops
Complaining ‘bout the WoPs
On maaaaaaaain streeeeet.

At the traffic stops
Guys with mops
Rub the cars with slop
Though you tell them to “STOP!”

Now they want a couple bucks
My town sucks

(Refrain: A few seconds of whistling)

Some unholy cow
Is preaching brimstone now
To a small, indifferent crowd

And she screams at a wino
By the Chicken Shack
In a voice that’s far too loud:

“You’ll be burning in hell
in the afterlife! Do you even really care?”
And with Milwaukee’s Best
Running down his chest
He says, “I thought I was already there!”

There’s an anthrax scare
In the city square
Where they’re burning Voltaire
With J.K. Rowling
By the burnt out bowling
Alley near the church.
There are stray dogs prowling
In the day. They go howling
When the roaming bears take their share
Of the trash from the county fair,
That’s been there
Since 1992.

I needn’t tell you.
My town sucks
Yes my town sucks

(Refrain: A few seconds of whistling, extended. End on a high note.)

((All material copyright Awayfarer, 2009. PM for the address to which you'll be sending the platinum record. Groupies should be 5'9 or under and non-smokers. Brunettes preferred. Send self-addressed tramp to same residence as you would platinum record. Trademark of Awayco "Awayco: We make things, sometimes."))
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--There: Indicates location or state of being.
"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

Siquo

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Re: My town sucks
« Reply #31 on: April 23, 2009, 05:57:34 pm »

... Awesome ...  :o
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

Creamcorn

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Re: My town sucks
« Reply #32 on: April 23, 2009, 06:29:04 pm »

The exam is in four days...

Wow, and I thought I had it tough in school.

Anyway, at Bork yes DR, they even have their marchs in the streets down here in Providence just  because  they  are  Dominican. But god damn their food is so good. Mmmmm MMM! I loves me some Pastes! (I think the Marchs are celebrating their country's independence or somethin)
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"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

Tormy

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Re: My town sucks... The #1 Hit Song!
« Reply #33 on: April 24, 2009, 05:56:55 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ahah, this was quite good & funny also.  :D
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Jackrabbit

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Re: My town sucks
« Reply #34 on: April 24, 2009, 05:59:25 am »

That was very fun and well written and generally awesome
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Awayfarer

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Re: My town sucks
« Reply #35 on: April 24, 2009, 06:45:44 am »

I like making internet people happy.
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--There: Indicates location or state of being.
"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

Jackrabbit

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Re: My town sucks
« Reply #36 on: April 24, 2009, 06:51:49 am »

I happy. Is good, is good.
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