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[Shoruke]

I'm going to heal-fy my skin back on.

[inaluct]

I twist my soul into the most barren and hateful form possible. Either it'll disintegrate Errol's rapier, or it'll turn it into an emo rapier that whines constantly.

[R1ck]

I'll turn this embarrassment into anger! And then proceed to hack at R1cks manhood.

Not my manhood! I need that to keep my head warm! Barbarian slash puny swordsman!

[Nirur Torir]

Turn 9. The future will arrive soon; tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of your life. I wonder what that makes today.

Pacho – | Pacho tries to relieve himself all over Frey again, but Frey was ready this time, | and dodges out of the way. Barely. Pacho wishes he had a cookie.

Frey – | Frey's clumsy dodging attempt caused him to be off balance, and he is in no position to nullify the threat that is Pacho.

Knightedskull – | Knightedskull hacks at R1ck, | who dodges out of the way protectively. Swordsman Knightedskull levels up! +1 intelligence, +1 skill, +1 speed!

Errol – | Errol stabs his rapier at the air above Inaluct, barely managing to imbue it with the soul of the dying man. Now what?

Shoruke – | Shoruke casts healify on himself, and he is completely cured! | Yes, completely. Even that arm is cured!

Inaluct – | Inaluct perverts his own soul into a horrible parody of what it once was. Errol's rapier is now an emo, evil souldrinker blade that whines at Errol whenever it's not drinking souls. Oh, and dying near it is rather unpleasant.

R1ck the Barbarian – | Barbarian swing at swordsman. Barbarian miss.

Crowd – | The lemon with a rocket launcher creates a pretty fireworks show.

Statuses:

Spoiler: Shoruke (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Skills
Dabbling Healer – 2/4 xp
Dabbling Pyromancer – 1/4 xp
Dabbling Protective Mage – 1/4 xp 
{earth mage} – 1/2 xp
Inventory
Magic Staff (+1 magic)
Leather Armor (+1 toughness)
Spells
Presidium Alio L1 - +1 dodge for 2-5 turns
Incendiary Blast L1 - +1 damage
Healify L1 - Heals the target by 1-3 points, has a chance of restoring a crippled limb.
Transmute carbon to rock -
Create Golem

Spoiler: NPC Allies (click to show/hide)

Low Quality Stone Golem
Unharmed
Completely Loyal
-1 to accuracy and damage

Spoiler: R1ck the Barbarian (click to show/hide)

Wounded (-1 to rolls)|
Bleeding
No left hand
Skills
Mighty Blow – 2/6 xp
Axeman – 0/6 xp
{shouter} – 1/2 xp
Inventory
Large Bloody Axe(50% chance of causing bleeding against injured characters)
Herbal healing potion
A Rope
Clothing

Spoiler: Knightedskull (click to show/hide)

Bruised. (2 turns remain. Was unharmed, -1 from bleeding) |. Knightedskull's bleeding opens an old wound
Light Bleeding
Skills
Competent Swordsman – 0/8 xp
Inventory
TowerShield
A falchion,
2 Healing potions.
Clothing

Spoiler: Frey (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Covered in filth (-3 to charisma rolls with intelligent beings)
+1 resistance to Pacho’s psychologically damaging actions
Skills
Competent Martial Artist – 2/8 xp
Dabbling Healer – 0/4 xp.
Inventory
Fighter's Robe of +1 dodge

Spoiler: Pacho (click to show/hide)

Bruised (2 turns remain)
Pain (-1 to rolls)
Prone
Scared of Frey (Who wouldn't be?)
Most black-hearted being in the area
Feels great (+1 to actions for 1 turns)
Broken fingernail
Skills
Scratchy Fighting Artist – 3/6 xp
Fingernail Wound Battle Stapler – 2/6
Dabbling Disturbing Fighter – 0/4 xp
Inventory
Nothing

Spoiler: Errol (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Skills
Fencer – 4/6 xp
Dabbling Sword Mage – 1/4 xp Inventory
Emo, evil speedy souldrinking rapier that whine's at Errol whenever it's not drinking souls (+1 to accuracy, partial distraction)
Boots of Agility (+1 to dodge)
Clothing
Spells
Swordwave -
Steal Soul -

Spoiler: Items on ground (click to show/hide)

Sand (176x)
Dust (128x)
Dirt (304x)
Sword of +1 damage
Long Jagged Knife: +1 to damage
Billowing, Confusing Cape: +1 dodge
Chain Mail of +1 Toughness
Inaluct's Clothing
Giant lemon with a top mounted rocket launcher
!!Soap craftsdwarfs!! (2x) - hunting vermin for food.

[R1ck]

I will once again unleash a mighty barbarian yalp, then I will go for the cape that is lying on the ground. Looting for the win!

[Pacho]

I propel myself with a fart to Frey's mouth and run towards the fat guy who made fun of me last time, to slash at his stomach (and make all the digested cookies fall out) and take his magical bag of neverending cookies.

[Frelock]

It means that today is the present, and we should use it as the gift it is.

I snap Pacho's neck.

[Pacho]

I propel myself with a fart to Frey's mouth and run towards the fat guy who made fun of me last time, to slash at his stomach (and make all the digested cookies fall out) and take his magical bag of neverending cookies.

Seeing as there is a jerk trying to kill me the least fun way possible, I throw sand in his eyes and pick away his fingernails (as in actually ripping them off his fingers).

Edit: I do this very carefully, so that frey feels nothing until he punches something =P

Take that! >=]

[Errol]

I go and loot the chainmail. I then attack R1ck.

[knightedskull]

While R1ck is busy picking up the cape, I show up behind him and shank him! with my sword. And while he is in pain or something I take the cape and wear it.

[Shoruke]

I command my golem to pick up the sword, whilst I mimic Gaara's Sand Armor. Hope you've seen/read Naruto. If you haven't, the move should be pretty self-explanatory.

Sand.
Armor.
But skin-tight.
...Yup.

[Nirur Torir]

Turn 10. Nobody encouraged me to stop procrastinating, so you have only yourselves to blame for the delay. 

R1ck the Barbarian – | Barbarian give mighty warcry! All who want to hurt barbarian this turn must pass a fear check! Barbarian then loot cloak. | Shiny coins found in cloak. Coin has razor sharp edges!. Useless, treasure-free cloak equipped.

Frey – | Frey delivers a karate chop to Pacho's neck. It does nothing.

Pacho – | >| GET SAND
You don't see the sand.
>|

Errol – | Errol loots the chainmail. He finds | a harmless spider.

Knightedskull – | Knightedskull tries to sneak up behind R1ck. | He quivers in fear from the shouting instead. | He succeeds in not being harmed by the loud shouting.

Shoruke – | Shoruke's nameless golem picks up a knife, but it is far too large for the tiny golem to use. It drops it and picks up the dagger instead. It twirls the massive sharp piece of metal knife over its head like Cloud. | It manages not to decapitate itself.
| Shoruke succeeds in coating himself with a protective layer of sand. (Never seen Naruto; not sure why sand would be more protective then armor. Of course, it does stack with armor...) | The armor should last a while.

Statuses:

Spoiler: Shoruke (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Sand Armor (+1 toughness, 6 turns remain)
Skills
Dabbling Healer – 2/4 xp
Dabbling Pyromancer – 1/4 xp
Dabbling Protective Mage – 1/4 xp 
Dabbling Earth Mage – 1/4 xp
Inventory
Magic Staff (+1 magic)
Leather Armor (+1 toughness)
Spells
Presidium Alio L1 - +1 dodge for 2-5 turns
Sand Armor L1 - +1 toughness for 1-6 turns, earth magic
Incendiary Blast L1 - +1 damage
Healify L1 - Heals the target by 1-3 points, has a chance of restoring a crippled limb.
Transmute carbon to rock -
Create Golem

Spoiler: NPC Allies (click to show/hide)

Low Quality Stone Golem
Unharmed
Completely Loyal
-1 to accuracy and damage
Long jagged knife: +1 accuracy

Spoiler: R1ck the Barbarian (click to show/hide)

Wounded (-1 to rolls)|
Bleeding
No left hand
Skills
Mighty Blow – 2/6 xp
Axeman – 0/6 xp
Dabbling Shouter – 0/4 xp
{looter}
Inventory
Large Bloody Axe(50% chance of causing bleeding against injured characters)
Herbal healing potion
A Rope
Clothing
Billowing, Confusing Cape: +1 dodge
Razor sharp coin: +1 damage when thrown

Spoiler: Knightedskull (click to show/hide)

Bruised. (1 turn remains) |. Knightedskull stops bleeding.
Skills
Competent Swordsman – 1/8 xp
Inventory
TowerShield
A falchion,
2 Healing potions.
Clothing

Spoiler: Frey (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Covered in filth (-3 to charisma rolls with intelligent beings)
+1 resistance to Pacho’s psychologically damaging actions
Skills
Competent Martial Artist – 2/8 xp
Dabbling Healer – 0/4 xp.
Inventory
Fighter's Robe of +1 dodge

Spoiler: Pacho (click to show/hide)

Bruised (1 turns remain) | The pain fades.
Scared of Frey (Who wouldn't be?)
Most black-hearted being in the area
Broken fingernail
Skills
Scratchy Fighting Artist – 3/6 xp
Fingernail Wound Battle Stapler – 2/6
Dabbling Disturbing Fighter – 0/4 xp
Inventory
Nothing

Spoiler: Errol (click to show/hide)

Unharmed
Skills
Fencer – 4/6 xp
Dabbling Sword Mage – 1/4 xp Inventory
Emo, evil speedy souldrinking rapier that whine's at Errol whenever it's not drinking souls (+1 to accuracy, partial distraction)
Boots of Agility (+1 to dodge)
Clothing
Spells
Swordwave -
Steal Soul -

Spoiler: Items on ground (click to show/hide)

Dust (256x)
Dirt (608x)
Sword of +1 damage
Chain Mail of +1 Toughness
Inaluct's Clothing
Giant lemon with a top mounted rocket launcher
!!Soap craftsdwarfs!! (2x) - hunting vermin for food.
Harmless spider

[Pacho]

I scratch at frey's eyes.

[Frelock]

Cave in Pacho's chest with a well-placed kick.

[knightedskull]

Break R1CK's ass.
I mean literally, a fractured ass.
I don't care how.