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[joeyjo0]

Damp/Warn stone:

If there really is a danger, the dwarf will ignore this.

(This is how 2 of my miners died, I hit a magma pipe while mining and my dwarfed mined too far... DAMN YOU DIAGONAL FLOW!)

[Specialist290]

General Law of Danger
The level of danger encountered is always inversely proportional to the level of danger expected.

[SanDiego]

Law of ganging
No matter how many war dogs you assign to your outdoors-working dwarwes, skeletal enemies (and ambushes) will always outnumber them at least two to one.

[Timst]

Law of doors :

Building door in high-traffic areas is useless, since a dwarf will eventually drop something that will block it open. And the items blocking door are instantly classified as "ultra low priority" for haulers, meaning it will never be picked up. At least, not before the first wave of what you want to seal off (miasma, goblins, water...)

Laws of remove building :

"Remove building" is the HIGHEST job of all. That's all.

Laws of refuse hauler :

No matter how much people you draft into the "refuse hauler" cohort, the large roach remain will still spread his violet cloud of despair before someone took it away.

Laws of trades :

As the years go by, your broker negotiatior's skill will increase. Sadly, the usefulness of trade will also decrease, so by the time you can safely reject counter-offers and approach a trader profit of 0, you won't need import good any longer.

Second laws of elven trees :

The probability that an elven diplomat appear to tell you to reduce your wood consumption is actually inversely proportionnal to the number of trees you're really cutting.

[RumblingNoise]

Law of migration:

Dwarves will never migrate when you need dwarves for farming, hauling and misc jobs. Instead, entire cities of nobles will migrate at the very first sign of a dwarf hunting for vermin.

Particularly nasty with mods which have very slooow farming.

[Myroc]

Law of Impish Inferno: When you post a marksdwarf near the magma pipe to kill off fire imps, none of them will rise to the surface of the pipe. When you leave it unguarded, the next dwarf to pass will instantly be killed by said fire imp.

Addendum: The incinerated dwarf in question will be your most important one.

[Tarbourite]

You only need an anvil right away if you didn't bring one.

[JerikTelorian]

Any sufficiently advanced mechanics are indistinguishable from magic.

[CobaltKobold]

Laws of remove building :

"Remove building" is the HIGHEST job of all. That's all.

Except when said building is flooding your fort.

[Angellus]

2. The Law of Uselessness - "The life expectancy of a dwarf is proportional to its uselessness."

Not at my fort!

The law of slaves: If you try to sell them, they kick you in the face with a warhammer.

[Deandet]

The law of tricks : If you leave a dwarf somewhere in a fort for a minute without watching him, he'll find a way to make a stupid dwarf trick. If you leave a dwarf somewhere in a fort for a second without watching him, he'll still find a way to make a stupid dwarf trick.
The law of bottomless pits : the next bottomless pit you'll strike will have lots of GCS.
The law  of bottomless pits 2 : if it doesn't have lots of GCS, it's not bottomless.
The law of bolts : your marksdwarves will take stacks of ¤30 steel bolts¤ to train. When goblins who up, they'll take stacks of 1 cat bon bolts

[Mr_Bucket_Hat]

If it can kill you, it will kill you. If it can't kill you, you are mistaken.

[Neruz]

The law of bottomless pits : the next bottomless pit you'll strike will have lots of GCS.

I wish.

[Myroc]

Law of Bottomless Pits Reworked: A bottomless pit will always contain GCS when you don't want it to. A bottomless pit will never contain GCS when you want it to.

[zwei]

1. The Law of Siege - "If a siege occurs, it will happen at the worst possible time, and at a worst possible place."
...
3. The Law of Military Readiness - "Your military will be unavailable at the only time it's needed."

I can attest this is most true.

One of my more memorable sieges: Heavy deforestation/fort building operations ended up shot because trees ran out, leaving fortifications unfinished and no wood for barrels. No wood for barrels means no booze. Map was seaside with aquifier so there was no way to get fresh water (no stones for mechanisms).

Exactly by time dwarves started dying, siege appeared. My whole military died of thirst *before* goblins even reached them, whole fort got drafted in last desperate attempt at defense, but in the end, thirst got more of them than goblins did.