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Author Topic: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)  (Read 8355 times)

sweitx

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The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« on: April 21, 2009, 02:22:13 pm »
I don't remember seeing one here, so i want to see what Murphy's law type anecdote can be applied to Dwarf Fortress.  Here some to start.

1. The Law of Siege - "If a siege occurs, it will happen at the worst possible time, and at a worst possible place."
2. The Law of Uselessness - "The life expectancy of a dwarf is proportional to its uselessness."
3. The Law of Military Readiness - "Your military will be unavailable at the only time it's needed."

Anyone have more?
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One of the toads decided to go for a swim in the moat - presumably because he could path through the moat to my dwarves. He is not charging in, just loitering in the moat.

The toad is having a nice relaxing swim.
The goblin mounted on his back, however, is drowning.

Rysith

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2009, 02:52:15 pm »
The Law of Fluids: "If it can flow, it will flood"
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Quote from: Warlord255 on November 07, 2008, 05:11:45 pm
The OP deserves the violent Dwarven equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2009, 02:54:10 pm »
"Shit (doesn't) happen"
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Quote from: Digital Hellhound on February 18, 2009, 10:50:43 am
...I keep searching for my family's raw files, for modding them.

Neonivek

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2009, 02:56:33 pm »
The entertainment value of a seige is a parabolic equasion where x = the unpreparedness of the player.

hmm nevermind... I can't do this.
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Mel_Vixen

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2009, 03:01:14 pm »
- If you need to brew booze you will be out of barrels.
- The number of <<Material>> is ever lower then the number of <<Marterial>> nbeede for a ceratin Construction.
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[sarcasm] You know what? I love grammar Nazis! They give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am so ashamed of my bad english and that my first language is German. [/sarcasm]

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Creamcorn

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2009, 04:14:35 pm »
The Law of Bashing: A Dwarf's base strength(6), plus strength times two(m), times the accumulated skill in hammer(x), plus the material of the hammer(y), plus quality (z) than divided by the size of the creature equals the amount of tiles it shall fly into the air when struck by a blow(t).


(m*2+6x+y+z)/s=t


M:Base/strong=2, Very strong/extremely strong=3, Mighty= 4, Ultra mighty=6

X:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Y:1 for other materials, 2 for copper, 4 for bronze, 6 for bismuth, 10 for iron, 15 for steel and 30 for admantine

Z:1 for standard, well-crafted 3, finely crafted 4, superior equals 6, exceptional 9, masteful 10, artifact equals 30

(Hopefully the math checks out with everyone's opinion)
« Last Edit: April 21, 2009, 04:16:21 pm by Creamcorn »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku on July 26, 2010, 12:20:43 pm
"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

dornbeast

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2009, 04:15:40 pm »
As the number of nobles rises, the probability of receiving a mandate you can not fulfill rises to 100%.
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Quote from: Dornbeast
Urist Austin, Axedwarf.  A dwarf barely alive.  Gentledwarves, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic dwarf. Urist Austin will be that dwarf. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

sweitx

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2009, 08:09:55 pm »
Just thought of another one.

The Law of Insanity: "When a mood occurs, it will require things you can't possibly get."
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One of the toads decided to go for a swim in the moat - presumably because he could path through the moat to my dwarves. He is not charging in, just loitering in the moat.

The toad is having a nice relaxing swim.
The goblin mounted on his back, however, is drowning.

Mel_Vixen

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2009, 08:44:23 pm »
The chance that you dont posses the things you need for this mood is higher the more important the worker is.
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[sarcasm] You know what? I love grammar Nazis! They give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am so ashamed of my bad english and that my first language is German. [/sarcasm]

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Puzzlemaker

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2009, 08:53:42 pm »
Dwarves, when they need a drink of water, will always head towards the area infested with carp, no matter what you have designated to drink and how much other water is available.
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The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

Mel_Vixen

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2009, 08:59:11 pm »
Any engraving in a personal room will most likely picture something the owning dwarf hates.
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[sarcasm] You know what? I love grammar Nazis! They give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am so ashamed of my bad english and that my first language is German. [/sarcasm]

Proud to be a Furry.

Heron TSG

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2009, 09:07:56 pm »
The law of goblinball - The starting hitter will always be the weakest dwarf, and the goblin will be the strongest of all the balls.
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GetAssista

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2009, 11:46:38 pm »
The next portion of rock a dwarf selects for digging is the farthest from the previous one, no matter how many more are designated nearby
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Rockphed

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2009, 12:27:43 am »
Quote from: GetAssista on April 21, 2009, 11:46:38 pm
The next portion of rock a dwarf selects for digging is the farthest from the previous one, no matter how many more are designated nearby

While I disagree with this statement, or at least how it is worded, I think this is a proper addendum.

The chance of a miner failing to produce a rock when mining is directly proportional to how much you want him to produce the rock.
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Quote from: SirHoneyBadger on January 23, 2010, 06:29:36 pm
Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

Yanlin

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2009, 12:30:28 pm »
When magma fucks up, it's still good.
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