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[Mount]

Law of Mineral Multiplicity:
The less you care about microcline, the more of it you will strike.

Addendum:
The best iron-bearing ore is "goblin."

[Volfram]

I don't think so.

I know it works if you encase them in obsidian.  I've never had something get encased in ice before.

I also had a fort where someone fell into a magma pipe wearing steel plate and holding an (adamantine)* axe.


*not really Adamantine, something I modded up, but roughly equivalent.

[Cheshire Cat]

General Law of Undead: They will always appear in the most inconvenient location possible and, more likely than not, they will be Carp.
Addendum 1: If they are not Carp, they are Whales.
Addendum 2: If they are neither Carp nor Whales, they are Giant Eagles.

seriously, where do you build your forts? ive tried really hard to find areas with interesting zombie animals, and all i ever get are zombie hoary marmots and skeletal goats. seriously, even a blind quadraplegic mentally subnormal dwarf with no lungs can bite a zombie hoary marmot to death. nor have i actually found carp in numbers significant enough to pose a threat. and giant eagles have allways been just another food source for me. and zombie whales seem to be as rare as a bronze colossus actually surviving worldgen.

heres another 2 -

whenever a dwarf chooses to run away from something dangerous, it will allways be in the absolute worst possible direction. as in, away from the nearby safe embrace of your forts trap filled entrance and towards the deadly chasm of doom half the map away.

if you ever decide to leave your fort running and go have lunch while your giant megaproject gets built, when you come back an hour later you will allways find the game paused itself 30 seconds after you left because some random gave birth.

also, i heartily endorse all the military ones. they stand there happily in their little carefully made annex waiting for the gobbos to get close enough to ambush, then as soon as you need them you find the entire squad went for a beer run.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Whenever a wall is ordered to save the fortress, the dwarf will be on break.

Should it be built in time, the dwarf will be on the wrong side. And it will be your only miner.

[Tenth Speed Writer]

Law of Fluid Mechanisms:

Any complex machine which relies upon water pressure can, and will, leak.
To disastrous consequences if possible.

Lavatic Addendum:
If the fluid in question is magma, the odds of leakage are increased exponentially.



First Law of Sonofabitchery:
The odds of an enemy landing an eye gouge, heart shot, lung shot, or red kidney shot are proportional to the weapon abilities of the dwarf in question.

Second Law of Sonofabitchery:
When digging multi-row, multi-column channels, as the number of gulag surfspeasant diggers used increases, the probability of the poor sap being mined out onto an island being your legendary miner approaches one.

Third Law of Sonofabitchery:
If given a choice between a High Master Swordsdwarf with Legendary Shield User and Legendary Armor User, and an unequipped recruit, a Champion Hammerdwarf will choose spar with the latter, every single time.

[RPharazon]

Law of Stockpiles:
A dwarf will mine out an entire stockpile, but leave one or two tiles undug in the worst possible place, causing the inability to create reasonable stockpiles.

Law of Early Game Stockpiles:
One of your dwarves will somehow create a valuable artifact before the fort is finished and the stockpiles are made. They will invariably store it outside. Noticing this, the player will make a stockpile for said artifact. One of two things can then occur: The dwarves ignore the stockpile and artifact, or they will carry literally every other item within the artifact's general category. Lastly, a monkey, fox, deer, or kobold will then steal the artifact.
Tantrums will ensue and destroy the fort.

Law of Bottomless Pits:
The fortress will be cursed, and no megaproject will be completed. The fort will then be abandoned out of lethargy.

[Neruz]

General Law of Undead: They will always appear in the most inconvenient location possible and, more likely than not, they will be Carp.
Addendum 1: If they are not Carp, they are Whales.
Addendum 2: If they are neither Carp nor Whales, they are Giant Eagles.

seriously, where do you build your forts? ive tried really hard to find areas with interesting zombie animals, and all i ever get are zombie hoary marmots and skeletal goats. seriously, even a blind quadraplegic mentally subnormal dwarf with no lungs can bite a zombie hoary marmot to death. nor have i actually found carp in numbers significant enough to pose a threat. and giant eagles have allways been just another food source for me. and zombie whales seem to be as rare as a bronze colossus actually surviving worldgen.

heres another 2 -

whenever a dwarf chooses to run away from something dangerous, it will allways be in the absolute worst possible direction. as in, away from the nearby safe embrace of your forts trap filled entrance and towards the deadly chasm of doom half the map away.

if you ever decide to leave your fort running and go have lunch while your giant megaproject gets built, when you come back an hour later you will allways find the game paused itself 30 seconds after you left because some random gave birth.

also, i heartily endorse all the military ones. they stand there happily in their little carefully made annex waiting for the gobbos to get close enough to ambush, then as soon as you need them you find the entire squad went for a beer run.

I have a world gen algorithm that creates worlds with copious magma, heavy forests and mountains all scattered around willy nilly to maximise the chances of finding everything i need in a 6 x 6 square.

It doesn't generate much ocean, but there's often a fair amount.


Oh, and on average about 50 - 80% of the world is evil.




It also errors out because it can't place enough swamps and grasslands, i deliberately set that up, and i have a mod of it which makes a butt-ton of glaciers as well. It's kind of annoying having to wait for it to make 500 worlds and then pop up an error before i can tap P and tell it to ignore errors, but my comp's good enough that 500 worlds only takes about 10 secs, so it's not an issue.



I can post the world gen algorithms i use if you want; i ahve standard evil, standard good and glacier evil.

[Areyar]

When you need a god, he's gone and died of old age.

[ac31]

the chance that a dwarf will open a door and permaflood an entire fortress is inversely proportional to the amount of care you take to ensure that this does not happen

[SimRobert2001]

If you're going to at least smooth the room anyway, why not just dig it out and rewall it?

Because you can't engrave constructed walls?

yes you can. 

Law of the fortess: There will ALWAYS be something you can learn. always.

[Leafsnail]

General law of the forums: As the the hideous and awful thing you inflicted on your fortress gets worse, the chance of anyone on the forums expressing sympathy tends towards 0.

General law of cage traps: You will never catch anything useful in them.  Until the siege.  Then the foxes decide to send an "Ambush" of their own.

[alway]

The value of any fort can be approximated by the number of magma cannons outside the front gates. After all, you gotta have magma cannons if you want to have any Fun at all!

When building a megaproject, save often; savescum twice as often.

[Aldaris]

General law of the forums: As the the hideous and awful thing you inflicted on your fortress gets worse, the chance of anyone on the forums NOTexpressing sympathy tends towards 0.

Fixed.
Seriously, have you ever seen the Urist Salvedangers thread? Or Boatmurdered?anything in The community games and stories sectionTHE ENTIRE DF FORUM?

[Rockphed]

General law of the forums: As the the hideous and awful thing you inflicted on your fortress gets worse, the chance of anyone on the forums NOTexpressing sympathy tends towards 0.

Fixed.
Seriously, have you ever seen the Urist Salvedangers thread? Or Boatmurdered?anything in The community games and stories sectionTHE ENTIRE DF FORUM?

So you mean to paint the DF forum as a compassionate place?

[alway]

General law of the forums: As the the hideous and awful thing you inflicted on your fortress gets worse, the chance of anyone on the forums NOTexpressing sympathy tends towards 0.

Fixed.
Seriously, have you ever seen the Urist Salvedangers thread? Or Boatmurdered?anything in The community games and stories sectionTHE ENTIRE DF FORUM?

So you mean to paint the DF forum as a compassionate place?

Yes. Except for when any of the following is mentioned:
kittens
microcline
orcs
elves
goblins
orthoclase
catsplosion
magma
water
trap
FPS
HFS
boatmurdered
magma cannon
obsidian
ice
tantrum spiral