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Author Topic: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)  (Read 8359 times)

Neruz

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #45 on: April 27, 2009, 07:19:11 am »

General Law of Undead: They will always appear in the most inconvenient location possible and, more likely than not, they will be Carp.
Addendum 1: If they are not Carp, they are Whales.
Addendum 2: If they are neither Carp nor Whales, they are Giant Eagles.

ThtblovesDF

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #46 on: April 27, 2009, 07:51:57 am »

Law of Diplomacy.

Diplomats are 300% more likely to have no legs then any other person coming to your fort.
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Raz

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #47 on: April 30, 2009, 11:04:22 pm »

The Law of the Dwarven Atom Smasher: The probability of a dwarf getting caught under an atom smasher is proportional to his usefulness.*

*Same law applies to ballista fire.
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LordDemon

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #48 on: May 04, 2009, 02:56:30 am »

Law of inverse valued ingredients:
Your dwarf building an artefact will take siltstone and rat leather, while the dabbling workers use the obsidian and dragon leather.

Law of foodstocks:
As soon as you get all plants turned into booze, you realize you are out of food.
As soon as you get all animals butchered, you realize your booze is running out again.
As soon as you get new plants grown, you realize you are out of barrels.

Law of kittens:
A medium sized fortress will survive on kitten biscuits and cat leather armor for a while, but so far you can't brew Château Le Meaw.




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If you are a goblin, you know you joined the wrong siege when the grates come down and bridge raises behind you, trapping you inside.

GenericOverusedName

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2009, 04:58:08 am »

The probability of a dwarf encasing himself in ice is equal to the monetary worth of the items he is carrying.

So many lost adamantine goods... :(
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Neruz

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #50 on: May 04, 2009, 05:17:54 am »

Can't you just dig em out?

ToonyMan

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #51 on: May 04, 2009, 06:29:11 am »

I don't think so.
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Aqizzar

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #52 on: May 04, 2009, 06:34:22 am »

Law of Succession: There is no project that can be adequately completed in one year.
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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #53 on: May 04, 2009, 06:44:14 am »

The second law of succession: There are many projects that can go disastrously wrong in one day.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #54 on: May 04, 2009, 10:16:32 am »

 Third law of succession: Of a sufficiently advanced succession game, the chance of a leader going insane is directly proportional to the number of megaprojects taken on by the fortress.
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Dakk

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #55 on: May 04, 2009, 10:33:36 am »

First law of militarism: There's a 50% chance that your military dwarfs will be either eating, sleeping or drinking at any given time during a siege.

Second law of militarism: It is perfectly fine for a champion clad in full adamantine armor and wielding a legendary weapon to spar with a unarmed recruit.

First law of artifacts: The possibility of a moody dwarf using a certain material to produce a artifact is inversely proportial to that material's value.
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dornbeast

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #56 on: May 04, 2009, 11:04:46 am »

Second law of artifacts: The possibility of a moody dwarf needing a certain material to produce a artifact is inversely proportional to the supply of that material.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2009, 11:43:14 am by dornbeast »
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Quote from: Dornbeast
Urist Austin, Axedwarf.  A dwarf barely alive.  Gentledwarves, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic dwarf. Urist Austin will be that dwarf. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Yanlin

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #57 on: May 04, 2009, 12:47:58 pm »

Law elf ambushes: If your squad leader can see you, so can the elves.
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sonerohi

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #58 on: May 04, 2009, 08:07:17 pm »

Law of floodgates: No floodgate will ever mess up in operational testing, but when put to the test will be obstructed by a half decayed, mud coated article of clothing left there by your least important dwarf. Said dwarf will be the last one to die due to whatever horror was being held back by the floodgate.
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chaoticag

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Re: The Saying of Urist McMurphy (aka DF Murphy's Law)
« Reply #59 on: May 05, 2009, 08:47:41 am »

Dwarven rule of new jobs: A dwarf with no job will spend his time talking his mouth off. A dwarf that is given a new job will give himself a break, because all that talking tired him out. He will spend that break socializing.
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