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[Duke 2.0]

 The danger of a site in relation to how long the site will survive can be charted with an inverted slope, with the danger of the site causing more frequent deaths until the site has reach such great danger that everybody inside turns into such colossal badasses that nothing can kill them.

 Known as the Nist Akath principle.

[Areyar]

Law of dwarven construction:
When the possibility arises, a dwarf WILL get bricked in behind a wall.
and starve to death.

Law of fecundity:
Your best warriors will be carrying babies into battle.

[ThtblovesDF]

There is no "to complicated"

[Areyar]

indeed, it is spelled "too complicated".

[ToonyMan]

Law of Winning: "0%."

Law of Losing: "100%."

Law of Dwarf:  "Pull the lever!"



I'm all out of jokes.

[qwertyuiopas]

Law of "oops":
The first, and most likely second, time you attempt to construct a sufficiently advanced water powered construction, the only pump facing the wrong direction will flood the entire fort.

With magma, each pump has a minimum chance of fatal misplacement of 5%

[Slappy Moose]

Just when a dwarf is possessed and needs a shell, the river will run dry of turtles and only turtles.

[Jim Groovester]

Law of Naked Wrestling: There will always be clothes on the floor in your barracks.

Law of Misplaced Priorities: A dwarf will always be drinking, eating, sleeping, or on break, whenever you need a time sensitive task completed.

Law of Misplaced Priorities, Trading Corollary: The caravan will always leave before your trader stops moving goods to the depot.

[Rilder]

Law of Woodcutting
That group of trees you set to be chopped down will always have a Goblin Ambush waiting.

[Neruz]

Overarching Law of Dwarfness: When given the opportunity, any given Dwarf will be found to be located in the worst possible position.
Addendum to Law: When not given the opportunity, the Dwarf will first create it.

[Strife26]

Law of progress: Whenver a fort becomes perfect, an idea will come along which will require a new fort OR the version will arive.

[Brian]

The Law of Fluids: "If it can flow, it will flood"

The Law of Fluids 2: "If it can't flow, it will burn, melt, then flood."

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

The Law of Noble reproduction: in any fort which has a noble, half the children shall belong to them, even if they just arrived.

[Neruz]

The Law of Fluids: "If it can flow, it will flood"

The Law of Fluids 2: "If it can't flow, it will burn, melt, then flood."

Law of Fluids 3: If it can't flood, doesn't burn and is otherwise harmless, then it is full of Carp.

[dornbeast]

The Law of Fluids: "If it can flow, it will flood"

The Law of Fluids 2: "If it can't flow, it will burn, melt, then flood."

Law of Fluids 3: If it can't flood, doesn't burn and is otherwise harmless, then it is full of Carp.

The Law of Fluids 4:  If the first three Laws of Fluids do not apply, a dwarf will still find a way to die in it, whether by falling in while fighting goblins, jumping in after a failed mood, or crawling in while an infant.