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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210943 times)

Ieb

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #870 on: January 10, 2010, 10:03:49 am »

Once in the good days, I played a lot of Kobold Camp rather than with dwarves. I embarked on the mountains, and headed straight for my destination.

The bottomless pit.

Having already discovered the UG pool, I had a vision of emptying the pit of the creatures, flooding it with the river nearby and then emptying it all, carving around the pit levels to make walkways and rooms and so on.

It worked, armed with a lot of wooden arrows, every critter inside(which were surprisingly few in number) were soon full of more arrows than organs. The kobolds did a little victory dance, moved their stuff inside and began work.

By the time my camp was eligible for moods, I had managed to get the pit filled with water and closed the pathway. Probably dropped a few levels of ground on it, or something, or maybe I had gotten a mechanic migrant by then. That's not important to this thing.

Finally ready to get started on the housing around the pit and so on, my miners got to work after I designated every level. The mood was ecstatic, the camp was all thrilled of the bone toy boat a pup had made in an estranged fashion, and all was good.

Until the point where I noticed a message saying the said kid had fallen into a deep chasm.

It was odd, I checked around but there were no enemies, suddenly angry kobolds or creatures that could have pushed the kid over the edge, literally in this case.

I should have looked around more carefully, but that's that.

I unpaused the game, and kept going. Nearly at the end of the mining, I suddenly got an announcement that a kobold had starved to death. This time I had a corpse to zoom into, which I did.

And I found two other kobolds, in a small ledge which had yet to be mined open to the rest of the camp for some reason. All were upset, starving and dehydrated. That, and wet.

By the time the miners got there, they all died off, one by one.

It was not really my most shining of moments with kobolds, but I at least found out the reason for so many of them to fall victim to mysterious forces.

While my memory is sketchy, I'm pretty sure I also used the flooding-source as a water-source. And my map was one with two biomes nearby, unfortunately, this was where the river was at.

Came Winter, the river froze first in the lower part of the map, gradually working it's way upwards. Now that wasn't bad.

But when Spring came, and the top part thawed out, it was unable to push through the ice, so it pushed out straight into my camp.

I had yearly floods that by the end of the camp had claimed those three kobolds to starvation, and a dozen had walked by at the wrong time and were swept in the pit.

Then the goblin ambush party showed up at the top of the pit, and sniped enough kobolds dead to start the tantrum's.

It was sort of hilarious.
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moki

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #871 on: January 10, 2010, 12:01:08 pm »

If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding
...???

You can't usually make a pick with dwarven bones (except for  a lucky fell or macabre mood, I think). I'd consider it cheating to mod that into the game after embarking just because I forgot to pack some proper digging tools.
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But my good sir, the second death was for Dwarven Science!

Carpman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #872 on: January 10, 2010, 12:07:40 pm »

If only. This is a Dwarfbone Pick. It menaces with spikes of Mutiny.

I don't like this cheating kind of modding
...???

You can't usually make a pick with dwarven bones (except for  a lucky fell or macabre mood, I think). I'd consider it cheating to mod that into the game after embarking just because I forgot to pack some proper digging tools.
I think most people would take CobaltKobold's original post as a joke... you know, to be funny.
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moki

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #873 on: January 10, 2010, 01:25:13 pm »

Joke? Ah, sorry must have lost my sense of humor somewhere... :-[
Or maybe it's just a sign of what this game does to me. Everything, the more absurd, the better, is just an interesting suggestion to me ;)
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But my good sir, the second death was for Dwarven Science!

Grendus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #874 on: January 10, 2010, 02:52:45 pm »

I had just trained several more squads of soldiers. In Dig Deeper, even if four dwarves are enough to defend the fortress it's usually a good idea to have multiple squads as backup, to cover multiple access points, to guard against ambushes, etc. I had just finished training three hammerdwarf squads and a squad of swordsdwarves. Added to my current two hammerdwarf squads, the two marksdwarves, and the wrestler squad that made 7 squads of legendary wrestlers and shield users in exceptional/masterwork steel armor.

Right after giving them their Deep Steel weapons (177% steel/mithril alloy) I get the message "A vile force of darkness has arrived". Since I now have 33 fully crosstrained legendary dwarves, I don't worry. What's more, these are goblins not orcs. Nothing to worry about, think I'll just use the swordsdwarves, see how messy they are. The first two squads go down without a hitch. There are goblin body parts EVERYWHERE! Between masterwork deep steel weapons and legendary skill, they seemed to be cleaving the goblins in half, splitting them into three or four parts per swing.

I checked the squad leaders, and one squad was led by an elite marksgob. Now, here's the facepalm. I knew from experience that the marksgob would stand behind and send the other goblins ahead, and reaching him would be a pain. I had 23 other legendary champions in reserve, compared to only 8 swordsdwarves. I should have brought out another squad or two of hammerdwarves to cut through the goblins faster. The second facepalm was a second melee squad arrived at the same time, so my swordsdwarves had to kill nearly 30 melee gobs (including one pikemaster who took several seconds to dispatch) while the elite marksgob pumped bolts into them.

One dwarf took a bolt to the leg, and then two more to the chest mangling his lungs and heart. He survived for two dwarf days before dieing (he was superdwarvenly tough). Two more were wounded before my swordsdwarves caught the marksgob, one with a broken hand and the other with a broken leg. After they had literally butchered the goblins(good armok, there are 120 goblin limbs spread around, blood for the blood god indeed), eight of them piled onto the goblin. Amazingly, his entire corpse is intact. He probably has more holes in him than swiss cheese. That'll teach me to ever underestimate elite snipers or marksmen again. That really sucked.
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numerobis

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #875 on: January 10, 2010, 03:42:05 pm »

(1) I had my legendary miner dig channel the plug to the magma source, to fill up my obsidian maker.  That generated a perfect little sphere of obsidian.  Miner ran down to pick it up and deliver it to the stockpile.  Then he interrupted his task: Too injured.  Someone took him to the barracks to rest.  By sheer luck, he was deposited in the bed (which soon became a !!bed!!) that was isolated from the rest, or else it would have been EOF.

(2) In the same place, I had my best fisherdwarf pump some water into the lava.  I'd made sure ahead of time that there were ramps up from the sea to the shore.  Apparently I missed which direction the ramps went; fisherdwarf fell in and drowned at depth 2.
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Grendus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #876 on: January 11, 2010, 11:14:39 am »

(1) I had my legendary miner dig channel the plug to the magma source, to fill up my obsidian maker.  That generated a perfect little sphere of obsidian.  Miner ran down to pick it up and deliver it to the stockpile.  Then he interrupted his task: Too injured.  Someone took him to the barracks to rest.  By sheer luck, he was deposited in the bed (which soon became a !!bed!!) that was isolated from the rest, or else it would have been EOF.

(2) In the same place, I had my best fisherdwarf pump some water into the lava.  I'd made sure ahead of time that there were ramps up from the sea to the shore.  Apparently I missed which direction the ramps went; fisherdwarf fell in and drowned at depth 2.

Always have a way to seal your obsidian machine while there's magma. I use doors, and lock them all when there's magma in the tunnels. Also serves as a nice execution chamber, draft them and leave them in the tunnels. They'll never know what happened to him.
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A quick guide to surviving your first few days in CataclysmDDA:
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WumpusKing

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #877 on: January 11, 2010, 11:17:27 am »

Was channeling out a tile to let magma flow(making myself some obsidian) but didn't think about diagonal flow through z-levels until the room didn't fill up. Good thing it only flooded some mined-out rock salt.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #878 on: January 11, 2010, 03:20:06 pm »

So I thought I'd play 2D again. Initially I lost half my supplies to a cave-in, which in retrospect was a sign from the gods.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That is such a perfect storm of fail and incompetence that I've highlighted the most interesting parts. I think I'll hold out another month or so then hitch a ride home with the traders. God knows what that poor metalsmith is going to think of all this.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

happydog23

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #879 on: January 11, 2010, 05:28:33 pm »

I just used all 3 veins of copper on my map to train my weapon smith (make, melt, repeat).  Now I'm out of copper.  I thought I was going to have limitless copper.  Turns out that copper nuggets and cassiterite look very similar visually. 

Turns out now I have almost limitless tin, and if I'd been aware of the situation earlier i could have made all my copper in  to bronze which would have doubled the amount i can train the smith on, and would have made his masterpieces more useful in my traps.


Well... Looks like we'll have tin barrels and bins everywhere.

Fist_Of_Armok

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #880 on: January 11, 2010, 09:53:19 pm »

I just used all 3 veins of copper on my map to train my weapon smith (make, melt, repeat).  Now I'm out of copper.  I thought I was going to have limitless copper.  Turns out that copper nuggets and cassiterite look very similar visually. 

Turns out now I have almost limitless tin, and if I'd been aware of the situation earlier i could have made all my copper in  to bronze which would have doubled the amount i can train the smith on, and would have made his masterpieces more useful in my traps.


Well... Looks like we'll have tin barrels and bins everywhere.

If he has a fuckton of masterpieces, melt some-and melt all the ones that AREN'T masterpieces, too.

Make bronze then. It'll train your smelter up, too.
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mal7690

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #881 on: January 11, 2010, 10:30:57 pm »

Two-fold.

My noble-killer version 7 I thought was going to be perfect.  Massive cistern, large inlet pipes for the deployment, large drainage, and multiple points of drainage for upgrades.

1) Connected the wrong levers to the wrong bridges so my unfinished suite (which doesn't have drainage yet) got filled.
2) apparently, tripling all values does not decrease the target room's fill speed, it actually increases it.

You really don't want to know how bad v.1-v.4 was.

So v.8 will have the inlet of v.6 with the drainage of v.7 and it should be pure joy.
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Biting at the dorf necks, now I have dorf heads.

WumpusKing

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #882 on: January 12, 2010, 01:45:11 am »

So v.8 will have the inlet of v.6 with the drainage of v.7 and it should be pure joy.
I like those words in particular.

I was under siege today by goblins. At first I freaked out, but it turns out one wrestler was able to occupy all of them while my archers shot them dead. The wrestler got away with very little injury  ;D



Yes, that is the entire siege force. Facepalmed for the goblins' sake.
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Nyxalinth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #883 on: January 12, 2010, 07:33:48 pm »

Joke? Ah, sorry must have lost my sense of humor somewhere... :-[
Or maybe it's just a sign of what this game does to me. Everything, the more absurd, the better, is just an interesting suggestion to me ;)

Moki cancels Get Joke: Sense of humor misplaced.
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

HatfieldCW

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #884 on: January 13, 2010, 01:32:28 am »

I successfully cleared out the underdeep for the first time in my DF career (Thank you, thank you), with my only casualty being a young recruit who was so emotionally scarred by the experience that he was stricken by melancholy.  His many kittens marching into battle with him may have also played a role in the trauma, as well as the victory.  So I'm patting myself on the back and racing against the clock to get him a fancy tomb built before he starves, and in the meantime I decide it would be a good idea to pit the new refugees so their bones are all in a tidy pile when they meet a similar fate.  I also set about deconstructing the various upright pikes and cages I recently acquired.

But what didn't I do?  I didn't actually send my elites down there to clear and secure the orifice, so when my peasants and furnace operators and engravers get down there to clear out the refuse, they bump head-first into the pokey little horror and are decimated.  The A-team quickly arrives on-scene and remedies the situation, but the many deaths and burn victims put my fort a full season behind schedule on the cleanup and resource exploitation, and push me dangerously close to a tantrum spiral in the bargain.

Rule #4:  Double Tap.  Thoroughness is survival.
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