Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[The_Fool76]

Released a hapless axe dwarf who had somehow gotten himself trapped in a cage trap during the last goblin siege, only to discover that said dwarf was actually the leader of the goblin siege.  Even better, I had chosen the dining hall as the place to release him.

[Syzgyn]

After reading through this whole thread, I had to register to post my most recent one.

After wondering for over a year why none of my haulers were moving bars out of my smelters, I finally realise the massive stockpile I designated is completely covered in hidden stone.

[Rat Of Wisdom]

Allow me to present my first REAL self-induced facepalm during the course of my current fortress as a dramatic monologue.

"A siege! Oh dear. Better tell everyone to get indoors except my two champion wrestlers."

*clickety-click*

"What?! A worthless soap maker and his child are wandering outside! On a bloody stroll while the vile force of darkness descends upon them. Morons."

*clickety-click*

"Oh, according to the relationships screen all they have is passing acquaintances. I won't risk too many tantrums if the goblins get them- and pay for their idiocy they should."

Urist McStupid, Child has been struck down.

"Serves you right, dipshit. The question, however, remains: why!?"

*clickety-click*

"Forums... meeting area above wagon... no such thing."

*click*

"Oh goddamn it. Defining a communal dining hall is wonderful but it does require remembering to designate it a meeting area."

*facepalm*

(Beat off the siege- my first- in the end. Caged a single gobbo to accompany the fifteen snatchers and ambushers I'd already caught, each wrestler ended up wasting six more, and the three or four that were left alive and not immediately within striking distance I decided to allow to escape to carry tales of terror back to their insignificant little tower.)

[Myroc]

I always forget that Fire Imps live in magma pipes.

*facepalm*

[Untelligent]

My bonecarvers were being a bit slow on the goblin bone ammo production, and my marksdwarves needed training ASAP, so I bought a bunch of wooden arrows from the elves.



Later: "Oh, that's right, dwarves don't use arrows."

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*

[Karnewarrior]

I just got my first seige ever. I already had a drawbridge and a gatehouse (with fortifications for windows. woot.). This made me want to

PULL ZE LEVER!

the gobbo army stoped and regrouped. a couple minutes went by before I figuered out why they weren't moving. duh.

PULL ZE LEVER!

they got closer. thinking my dwarves would attack them thru the gatehouse, (they had been there forever,) I shouted again

PULL ZE FREAKING LEVER!

cue stop and regroup.

PULL ZE LEVER! (again..)

this went on for at least 15 minutes before I decided to just send my macedorfs out to get them.

they were slaughtered.

[slink]

I have just recovered from one of these moments.

I have an embark site which I fell in love with the moment I saw where the Dwarves landed.  It is in the world of The Future Realms, on the shore of the Shriveled Ocean of Sucking.  The 6x6 is about 2/3 ocean, and frozen.  There is a magma pipe open to the surface.  There are no trees or other vegetation.  There is an aquifer.  I was uncertain how I felt about it until I embarked, and my Dwarves landed on the very edge of the beach, just on the dry side of the waterline.  Of course, as soon as I un-paused the game, the surf washed over them.  It was as if they had been shipwrecked, and floated ashore with nothing but this one miserable wagon loaded with booze, plump helmets and their spawn, turtles, one rope, two picks, one axe, two cats, two dogs, and two draft beasts of dis-similar species.

The first two levels of this site are sand and loam with very, very few basalt inclusions over near the ocean.  I mined those for the three vital workshops and a few critical pieces of furniture.  There was nothing left over for making mechanisms for trade, so when the Autumn caravan arrived, I had to trade home-grown plump helmets for a few sticks of tower-cap and a couple of spare barrels.  The plump helmets were being stored without barrels so that I could reserve the barrels for booze.

The next two levels of this site are aquifer.  We tunnelled through dirt to the obsidian border of the magma pipe, and dug down three levels.  I noticed that they encountered damp stone, so I had them dig one more level.  Now stone was available in ample supply and the future looked bright, if a bit heavy on plump helmets and Dwarven wine.  We actually got migrants in mid-winter - 19 of them all at once!   

Stone was being dragged to the workshops in great piles.  We had found bauxite, and that was already safely stored and forbidden.  We had obsidian, basalt, mudstone, and a few other miscellaneous types, as well as a number of gems.

It was a little crowded on the stair landing on the first rock level under the aquifer with all those Dwarves hauling stone from the layer below, and I thought to myself that it was just damp stone, right?  Like under a pond?  So I told them to dig out another 5 squares ...

ARGH....

I abandoned the fortress, deleted the region, and started the world over again so I could have that site without my mess.   

[Neyvn]

This is my Face Palm moment, it is not one of accident or death. Just pure and simple Palm to the Face....
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

I am currently play a comp fortress for the Dwarf Masters. I is situated at a Terrifying Saltwater Swamp, with a magma pipe in the middle with a two layer Aquifer, all was going well(ish), with the annoyance of being unable to work out how to make a separated area for Sand (second layer of the aquifer) away from my main project, I was doing it in another Save elsewhere so that I could work it out without ruining my fort, good thing I did cause I lost half the Fort by those mistakes...

But this is not the Face Palm, I knew I didn't have those skills yet, passing an Aquifer is still new to me, let alone 2 layer and attempting to give myself enough space for Sand Collection at the same time, my Face palm came after the forth year had passed. An achievement in its own accord seeing as most forts of mine only last for a 2 or 3 years before I get bored...

I had put my aquifer passing attempts behind to build my mega project, and was progressing smoothly, having little to no defense yet I had a hallway of dogs and cage traps to my entrance, a few goblin ambushes and only recently a Siege, all pretty much walking into cages...

When all of a sudden...
The Titan _______ Has Come!!!

I Panicked, still on pause that happens at its arrival, my heart started to beat wildly, I didn't want to start again, and the few champions I had were poorly equipped due to the Aquifer. This was my first mega Beast, EVER, and I had no idea what was about to happen. I hit the space bar and like you might have guessed already the Titan ran straight at my fort's entrance and straight into a trap...

God I felt like such a fool, granted I had something to actually worry about due to there being another entrance (Which I thought the Titan would take) but still none the less... -Facepalm for my stupidity-

[Siru]

Well my current fort (Mirrorcouncils) has been my most successful fort ever. But due to it's success I have learnt many things which have been doing wrong in all my other forts and be subsequently shocked how simple it seems in hindsight.

-Building a functional well.
-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"
-MASS DUMPING/CLAIMING/ETC.
-Windmill powered mills
-Creating a military that is actually effective?
-After beating up those goblins and goblin wrestlers in a seige, actually check that the seige title has gone before mass claiming and running into the Spearmaster-lead squad of crossbow marksgoblins coming from the other side of the map. (The dwarves won in the end although there was one very unhappy girl who lost her military mother and baby brother in the attack and her father who went berserk afterwards.)
-Check the wounded for ({iron bolt})s.
-Traffic designations did not do what I initially thought they did.

Also I've learnt that next time I'll have to build housing differently if I hit the economy again, how to pump and actually build a well sooner than 5 years in. Also build a military which is based on more than Champion Wrestlers and War Dogs (Don't get me wrong they have been very effective but I worry about attacks in the future because it's been quiet for awhile.)

[Craftling]

"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"

OMG!

[Lord Dakoth]

Another good facepalm moment... Mayor mandates the production of green glass on a map with no sand.

I thought, "Oh, whatever. Some random glassmaker will get punished for it."

Right after the mandate ended, I checked the criminals screen. Some random peasant was listed. I thought, "That's funny. All these immigrants, and no glassmaker." I shrugged it off, until I looked at said peasant's profile.

She happened to be the daughter of one of my champions, and friends with most of the fort. She gets beaten by one of my guards (no hammerer yet) and promptly bleeds to death.

Then, the good ol' tantrum spiral begins. Her mother (who was, by the way, a Legendary Hammerdwarf) would've gotten by just fine.

But of course, there were one or two peasants who didn't take it so well. One of them went berserk and was shot by a nearby guard. This merely accelerated the tantrum spiral, which resulted in my Mayor getting a Copper pick driven through his head.

A few months and two dozen coffins later, I had cleaned up almost the entire mess, and most of the dwarves had calmed down. Just one berserk dwarf left and a few melancholy ones. However, aforementioned berserk dwarf happened to be by a lever. This lever was linked to a forest of upright spike traps that I had rigged in my main hallway to deal with orc invaders.

He makes a beeline for the lever, 10+ random corpse haulers are instantly turned into Dwarven shish-kabobs.

Re-enter the tantrum spiral. And a siege of Orcs that must've laughed their asses off.

[orbcontrolled]

"Oh, that's right, dwarves don't use arrows."

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*

What!? NO!
Why didn't I read this page 2 hours ago? It was sitting right here in my browser as I was trading.

Sigh...

*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> highwood arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Saguaro arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Pine arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Cedar arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Maple arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Willow arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Larch arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Chestnut arrows -> dump*
*z -> stocks -> ammunition -> Ashen arrows -> dump*
Damn elves get more worthless every year


My own facepalm moment:
*Digging designation canceled, damp stone detected*
"Damp stone? What nonsense is this? we are many levels below the earth, and there isn't a river or pool around for miles. How could there be water amidst a layer of solid rock?"
"I suppose I should hardly be surprised, this game is, after all, still an alpha, and one must expect the occasional glitch here and there mustn't one?"
"Keep digging you foolish dwarves, there is no danger here, your feeble minds are playing tricks on you! Power ahead!"
...
"Dangerous terrain? What are they talking about, I see no danger. Why are they running away from the tunnel? Why does this rock wall have them so spooked?"
*Loo[k] Loo[k] Loo[k]*
*Water 5/7*

Turns out there are these things called aquifers underground, they can be penetrated by mining *under* them, and rubble from mining will obscure everything else on a tile, including water.

[Time Kitten]

alright, I'd like to invoke a facepalm moment now that you've dumpped those arrows.

They can be loaded into bows for weapons traps, pretty much exactly the same as crossbow traps, but with their own ammo reserve.

[DeathOfRats]

alright, I'd like to invoke a facepalm moment now that you've dumpped those arrows.

They can be loaded into bows for weapons traps, pretty much exactly the same as crossbow traps, but with their own ammo reserve.

You, sir, have impeccably evil timing

[Untelligent]

I was fully aware of that, but I'd rather put the welfare of my fortress in the hands of my platoon of champions than something I rely on the elves for.