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[94dima94]

A Titan made entirely of water came to the fortress, killed a few dingoes, went for the human caravan... and was one-shot by a crappy human guard weilding a plain copper mace (which she didn't really know how to use either).

Total victim count: 5 dingoes, 1 merchant (killed by a long-distance "spit" that destroyed his leg leaving him to bleed out quickly).

[snow dwarf]

I put notes on three levers connected to bridges that protect my fort, but I forgot to link the bridges up and now my dwarfs are sitting behind doors and smoothing the fortress while undead kill everything outside and my animals starve to death.

[Nikita]

Was trying to figure out why nobody was making copper crossbows at the metalsmith's workshop.

All the smiths had appropriate labors enabled, had no job, the copper was available, nothing was forbidden, there was no civilian alert, they weren't doing anything more interesting...

Turns out I set the workshop profile to only accept the armorer, while crossbows are made by a weaponsmith.

[asialsky]

In the middle of digging out a cistern for the well in the dining hall, I get a notification. "You have struck Devil Ice ore!" "Nice," I think. "Now I can use my modded ore to forge freezing weapons that are able to sever limbs and cause frostbite."

" 'Vinny' McArmorer has been taken by a fey mood!"

I thought nothing of it until he gathered up all of my newly smelted Devil Ice bars, and forged a single boot with an image of itself on it worth 162000 DB.

A boot, out of a material that causes frostbite. FML. /facepalm
EDIT: Now I just wanted to abandon so I can claim in adventure mode.

[Derpy Dev]

So I have learned something. If a dwarf sees an undead, he will attack it. That's it. If they see an undead while mining, they will attack it. If they see an undead next to a safe ledge, they will attack it. If they see an undead that a trap was about to deal with anyway, they will attack it. If they see a hoard of undead cave crocodiles swarming from the caverns and rushing towards the fortress, they will attack it, no matter how unlikely it seems they will win, no matter how many burrows you have telling them to run, no matter how many traps this dwarf was making to protect us from said undead... they will abandon their duties and rush towards it.

Rip my legendary mechanic.

[vanatteveldt]

I decided to take off the top of a mountain the way coal companies sometimes do, for basically the same reason (it was literally made out of coal).  And just designated the whole thing on multiple levels for mining.

Do you even have to guess what happened?

Are you even surprised I was this dumb?

I occasionally try to do things like that.  I normally give up before I take the entire top of the mountain off.  The other thing to remember is the ramp and channel commands.  I just wish there was a good way to say "I want to take off the top 10 layers of this mountain, starting at the top".  I think you can easily lay out 3 - 4 levels worth of chopping with the priority commands, but the absolute most you can do is 7.

Stairs.  The way to do massive digging projects across multiple z-levels is stairs.  First designate downstairs everywhere, then designate up-down on top of that everywhere.  (The downstairs which are on the surface levels won't get overwritten). 

Alternatively, mine (not channel) out the whole mountain except for one column in the middle. Place a support next to the bottom column, remove said column. Link lever to support, civilian burrow, pull lever.

Not sure if your coal will survive, but you'll certainly get nice fireworks

(http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Exploratory_mining#Mountain_Top_Removal_Excavation)

[Nikita]

-snip, wrong thread-

[ForestDump]

I smoothed the down stairs to the second level of rooms and all the dwarves that were there died of thirst

[lobster1050]

"Face palm moments you had"? Well. In my last fortress, created all types of instruments, assigned a lot of performers to tavern (some of them even had skills for appropriate instruments). And? No one want to play these instruments.

[Pseudo]

As it turns out, attempting to catch firebreathing fire with a wooden cage trap doesn't work well.

[Derpy Dev]

After a long journey that I was afraid of sleeping during because of bogeymen, I managed to get a rhino person adventurer to my retired fortress.

Unretired the fort to find a rhino person stark raving mad in the second cavern layer.

[Thisfox]

As it turns out, attempting to catch firebreathing fire with a wooden cage trap doesn't work well.

Yep, but if the wooden cage was an Artifact, you now have an eternal source of !!sock!!s, !!kitten!!s and !!dorfs!!, to do with as you will.

[asialsky]

"Urist McRecruit cancels Store Item: Too injured."

Oh no, that FB was poisonous. I wonder what-
"Urisf McRecruit has been found dead: Suffocated."

Turns out my giant cave croc FB injected him in the spine and paralyzed him in his upper spine, both lungs, and his liver.

[Derpy Dev]

Literally the first combat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The first enemy, the first combat, the first shot. I literally made this character less than a minute ago.

[94dima94]

Literally the first combat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The first enemy, the first combat, the first shot. I literally made this character less than a minute ago.

Your profile pic perfectly represents the correct reaction in this case.