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[Bumber]

Trees are evil!

I've had my second tree-related death!

I'm up to 7. They have their own section in the cemetery.

[Libash_Thunderhead]

In previous version, when I want 1 armor stand, I input the following commands: j-m-rock ar-enter-enter.
But now the default number is infinity...
Fortunately the caravans came that years had extra space in their wagons.

[TheBiggerFish]

That reminds me of Spearbreakers...(though it ended up becoming a Thing.)

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
MUGS FOR THE MUG THRONE.

[Bumber]

I didn't realize the manager quantity for conditional repeating jobs is a batch size, not a running total. Had to redo all of them because the jobs never stopped.
Finally got my first scholar petition to join my fort, after several years of only mercs and bards. Save-scummed after bungling some of my minecart stockpile settings (apparently it's per stop, not per stockpile link.) The scholar is now nowhere to be found, not even visiting.

[Fleeting Frames]

So, working on powerless minecart percussion corridor plans....

Test of concept whether falling loaded minecart will spill contents...I learned a few things, like when dwarves deconstruct a floor, they take the minecart off it instead of letting it fall down.

I also realized that I should have just dug down instead of building a tower >_>

Every military dwarf in burrow dodged when it hit, because I forgot to wall them in.

Finally, on success I learned that no spillage and same falling cart can hit multiple creatures on same tile.

Ok, so time for a corridor....High cadence,diagonal for slower pathing, no power would make things simple, so lets try two valid ramps, floor and fake ramp...Of course, I've seen enough carts stopping on collisions that I should have realized this would pause on first hit. At least the dwarf got 21 exp from 7 previous dodges, that was cute. To add insult to the injury, it did only yellow wounds - right, damage is dependent on fall distance.

So, elevator designs. Initial proof of concept checkpoint elevator seemed to work, so built 1 5z tall one for diagonal iteration (easy to perfectly load and pause with single hatch thanks to quantum piles)

...I put the stop walls for walling in the same direction starter impulse ramp launches them from, thus putting the cart on the edge of a tile and making it backslide due insufficient speed.

Okay, so new design. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson?

Spoiler: "Haha nope" (click to show/hide)

Spent like 8 minutes looking at it and wondering "why does this impulse checkpoint + flat track checkpoint elevate properly but this one not"

Then realized that although both corners initially center the cart I forgot to account for corner ramp diagonal movement <_<

At least I have working elevator to mirror, but still. Same mistake twice in a row *sigh* At least only 1 misdesignated ramp and 1 mining accident so far.

*realizes the mirror would mirror the direction*

...I should get out of the sun before I get a heatstroke.

*reverses the polarity of ramps*

...that worked not so much that the section that worked before stopped working. ...I guess it's due the corner ramps at the bottom, but there's one thing I know:

I'm great at confusing myself.

[Bumber]

This is my magma minecart trough:


Guess what happens when somebody goes to retrieve the dumping minecart right after it drops an iron minecart into the magma?

I would have changed it to do a U-turn, but my magma forges are too close. Also, they never pick up the filled minecart for some reason. Probably too close to the trough to cool.
Double face-palm:

I changed it so that the iron minecart rolls down the ramp into the magma trough, instead of being dumped. It then sped through the magma without filling. I drained the trough, deconstructed the rollers, waited for the magma to evaporate, and rebuilt the rollers at medium. Still no fill. Save-scummed and built at lowest speed. Fill, but the cart doesn't make it back up the ramp. Save-scummed and built at low speed. Cart neither clears nor fills with magma. It just sits there in 7/7 magma unfilled.

Guess I'll stick with lowest and rely on other carts to push it back out. Edit: Did this and now they're spontaneously clearing without pushes. Not going to question it.

[MinerMan60101]

Just realized that the whole time i was trading i was pressing 'o' instead of 't'. (giving the caravan stuff with nothing in return) Now i understand why my exported wealth is 0 and i wasn't getting any sand or glass.

[§k]

I was making a magma pool to power the forge, but accidentally ignited a dwarf. Unfortunately, this level is in soil, so it is covered in moss. The fire went from the dwarf to the ground, and then to everything else.

I thought the whole fortress would die in fire. However, my 20 soldiers had been sparring in the barrack for so long that on the ground no moss grew. They survived the fire.

And a poet and a bard survived, too. Because of the traffic, some part of the bar is free from moss.

[Repseki]

It took me 3 years to realize that one of my military dwarves had nearly maxed stress vulnerability.

It also took that dwarf 3 years to finally loose their shit enough to start throwing tantrums.

Hammerlords throwing tantrums in a very small crowded meeting area is not the best way to deal with stress...

[Random_Dragon]

It also took that dwarf 3 years to finally loose their shit enough to start throwing tantrums.

Huehuehue: http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9660

[rachiebird]

I'd say it was probably the bit during the first year where I became confused about what symbol in the trade screen was meant to represent the item's value, and traded away all my rare gems for a zero-quality shirt and pair of socks.

[Bumber]

Breached the circus because I was beginning to question if my candy cane was actually hollow or not. FPS drops to ~5-10, and I order my military to the spire immediately. A minute later my cavern is burning down from all the flaming clowns. I go to check on my soldiers... and they're faffing about in the taverns with unreachable target!

I order them to move down to my forges, which are now being destroyed by clowns. Unreachable target! I order them to the top of the stairwell, which the clowns have not reached yet. Unreachable target!

A few clowns begin destroying all my workshops and burning masterworks. Eventually, a clown reaches the area below the taverns and one of my soldiers kills it with minimal injury. Eventually, the clowns finish destroying all my workshops, and engage some of my forces below the tavern. I manage to kill all of those while losing maybe 10 of my 40 soldiers (all of which are legendary.)

Only a handful of clowns are left. Two of the flaming ones are hanging out in the forge area, fruitlessly trying to deconstruct a floodgate in my obsidianizer. They're probably standing in the wrong spot. A few flying clowns are meandering about the caverns.

At this point, my FPS is stuck at 3 and the entire lower half of my fort is rekt. The remaining clowns are all unreachable due to the inaccessible stairwell. I lost a handful of civilians, but most were in the upper half when the clowns arrived. 20 of my 30 remaining soldiers are in the tavern, where they've always been. They never lifted a finger in defense of the fort.

At this point I decided to save-scum. I've been meaning to finish my magma moat, and that wasn't going to happen at the state my fort and FPS were in. It was a good trial run to know that I can actually beat the HFS as is. However, when I decide to open it for real, my squads will already be in position and do their f**king jobs!

The one good thing that came of this is that I've found a tile of the candy cane that goes straight down without hitting any SMR. This will be my stairwell when I decide to build Hell's Kitchen.

[YetAnotherLurker]

Turns out, starting a massive tree-chopping operation in the third cavern layer (Z32), planting some 300 tiles worth of crops in surface farms (Z154), buying out a human caravan, and butchering two dozen captive horses from the last siege, all at the same time, is a TERRIBLE idea. Especially when you only have 80ish citizens capable of work.

End result, a caravan and two dozen horses' worth of rotting meat and byproducts, every single quantum stockpile's feeder area clogged as "Store Item in Vehicle" jobs outnumber dwarves by 10 to 1, and an entire season's harvest withering in the fields.'

On the other hand, I now have a lovely pile of blood thorn and nether cap logs.

[Bumber]

Climbing crundles. They interrupted a hauler, legendary blacksmith, and legendary carpenter, causing them to climb onto a shroom tree over the cavern lake. I thought that would be the worst of it.

I was wrong. The crundles climbed over to the dwarves and began a mid-climb fight. It drags on and my dwarves and a few crundles exhaust themselves and plummet into the water below. They all fall unconscious due to exhaustion and drown. The squad I ordered there to help had been just watching this take place (as I've come to expect of them,) not bothering to climb into the fight.

I have no idea what the legendaries were doing near that part of the caverns in the first place. They don't have hauling enabled. They were supposedly going to build a wall (near the unopened candy cane) when they were interrupted. Probably chased a fleeing crundle all the way.

[Blackadder]

So, I've gotten into the game again recently, and was messing around with a few of the latest Masterwork mod settings. One of the DF Therapist options allows assigning labor to children.

Now, for a bit of background, from an ethics standpoint I am against both cheating in a video game, and child labor - however, being the dirty capitalist and efficient fortress manager that I am, I could not turn down the opportunity to squeeze a little profit out of the little snots. The trick is to make it seem like a game! Lost a finger? Go dive in that stockpile and find it! Make sure you grab any rats you see in the process, dirty bastards.

I digress. It seems that one of my newly enslaved hired laborers has decided to follow the illustrious career path of "murderous little piece of shit" and in the process took the lives of three of my peasant military drones. Granted, they were a far-cry from the slotted-spoon-wielding elite guardsmen who followed our (former) expedition leader and only grumbled occasionally. They -have- been grumbling a bit more now that Uzol has assumed the new position, in place of the freshly deceased (and quite overly-perfumed) former expedition leader.

Our diagnostician, recently appointed after a quick study of "Basic Anatomy for F*#@ing Dumbf*#$s" mentions some nonsense about a "Strange Mood". We just think it's the plump helmets. Worst form of mind control the Dwarven Empire has ever developed.