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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2141419 times)

PyroTechno

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9435 on: October 21, 2015, 06:52:02 pm »

EDIT: Nevermind
« Last Edit: October 21, 2015, 06:53:39 pm by PyroTechno »
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Whodunnit

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9436 on: October 21, 2015, 08:05:00 pm »

Too late now, perhaps, but the "changeitem" command can change one type of cloth into another. It has saved the sanity of my inspired dorfs several times.
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FortunaDraken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9437 on: October 21, 2015, 10:40:40 pm »

Huh, okay. I shall have to remember that!
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I just had a "lord consort" visit and decide to stay. Preparing for Trojan war reenactment.
Protip: statues cannot be made out of wood unless they're artifacts. If you see what appears to be a wooden statue outside your fort and it's not an artifact, destroy it immediately.

SirAero8

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9438 on: October 24, 2015, 08:46:44 pm »

First time I tried to make a well I ended up flooding my entire fortress. It was over a year ago, but I remember I put a grate with a hole below it by the lower level of a pond, and I had a dwarf mine into the wall holding in the water. The result was the water came in, filled the hole, flooded the nearby bedrooms with several dwarves sleeping in them, and killed pretty much all my dwarves. After that I didn't have the will to keep going, so I abandoned the fortress.
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pieceoftheuniverse

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9439 on: October 26, 2015, 04:19:27 pm »

Four facepalms in one story:

Dug down to the cavern layer, looking for water. Found the water - and also a small tribe of cave swallow men.

OK, no problem. It's still early, so I don't have much more than a token fighting force of two. But animal men tribes are armed with wooden spears, and my guys are in iron, so this is just easy fighting experience.

So, create an airlock system, place the squad, pop open the doors and ...

The squad goes right into the middle of the tribe, as ordered:

Urist: Hey.
Cave Swallow Man: 'Sup.
(Facepalm #1)

Nothing. They don't launch into a fighting frenzy. They don't even try to poke each other. They just stand around, making small talk.

But my civilians won't go near the area, I need to scout the water source to make sure there's enough for a well, and there's a ton of cave spider silk just ripe for the taking. The "Z" menu indicates that, yes, the cave swallow men are enemies of my civ, so I have no idea why they're friendly. (Facepalm #2)

By this time it's been in-game days, and my military is getting a little bored. A station order isn't going to cut it.

So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."

After all the cave swallow men are dead, my squad leader gets depressed. I open up the details screen on this dwarf, and notice two things:
  • He felt horrified at seeing a cave swallow man die (x10). (Expected)
  • Urist McSquadleader has complained about the draft lately. (Well, I wouldn't have to draft you ten times in a row if you would just engage the enemy!)
  • He doesn't like fighting, and regards those who spend time learning fighting skills to be wasting their time. (Um, whoops?)

(Final facepalm, quit game, re-examine life)
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PyroTechno

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9440 on: October 26, 2015, 04:51:29 pm »

Four facepalms in one story:

Dug down to the cavern layer, looking for water. Found the water - and also a small tribe of cave swallow men.

OK, no problem. It's still early, so I don't have much more than a token fighting force of two. But animal men tribes are armed with wooden spears, and my guys are in iron, so this is just easy fighting experience.

So, create an airlock system, place the squad, pop open the doors and ...

The squad goes right into the middle of the tribe, as ordered:

Urist: Hey.
Cave Swallow Man: 'Sup.
(Facepalm #1)

Nothing. They don't launch into a fighting frenzy. They don't even try to poke each other. They just stand around, making small talk.

But my civilians won't go near the area, I need to scout the water source to make sure there's enough for a well, and there's a ton of cave spider silk just ripe for the taking. The "Z" menu indicates that, yes, the cave swallow men are enemies of my civ, so I have no idea why they're friendly. (Facepalm #2)

By this time it's been in-game days, and my military is getting a little bored. A station order isn't going to cut it.

So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."

After all the cave swallow men are dead, my squad leader gets depressed. I open up the details screen on this dwarf, and notice two things:
  • He felt horrified at seeing a cave swallow man die (x10). (Expected)
  • Urist McSquadleader has complained about the draft lately. (Well, I wouldn't have to draft you ten times in a row if you would just engage the enemy!)
  • He doesn't like fighting, and regards those who spend time learning fighting skills to be wasting their time. (Um, whoops?)

(Final facepalm, quit game, re-examine life)

You noticed three things at the end, not two. Life is an endless progression of facepalms - the only "final" facepalm is the one that does brain damage and puts you in the hospital for the rest of your life.
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Insert_Gnome_Here

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9441 on: October 27, 2015, 03:54:53 am »


So I tell the squad to attack each cave swallow man, individually. And every time they successfully kill one, they decide "Job's done!" and revert back to civilian status (Facepalm #3). But there are still ten, nine, eight cave swallow men still alive, so I have to s -> a -> k -> every single one, which reactivates the squad for "one more kill."


s -> a -> k -> r Then drag rectangle over everything you want killed
or
s -> a -> k -> l Then hold shift & select everything from the list you want killed.
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Quote from: Max™ on December 06, 2015, 04:09:21 am
Also, if you ever figure out why poets/bards/dancers just randomly start butchering people/getting butchered, please don't fix it, I love never knowing when a dance party will turn into a slaughter.

Madventurer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9442 on: October 27, 2015, 04:48:04 am »

I was playing in a succession fort, reclaiming a lost fort, and didn't check whether the caverns were sealed properly.

Luckily, only troglodytes ensued... even though three ambushes spawned somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd cavern. Go figure.
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Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).

Insert_Gnome_Here

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9443 on: October 27, 2015, 10:59:24 am »

Well I just learned why long, uninterrupted staircases are a bad idea, especially ones that end in water.

A vomit pterosaur FB turned up in my fort, with blistering dust. My elite warriors attacked, but many were hurled down the central stairwell into the cavern and drowned.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Among the dead is a hammerlord who once got bored of waiting for a giant to reach it and decided to walk over and kill it in two hits. T add insult to injury, each elite military dwarf war wearing at least 10000 dorfbucks worth of steel armour.

Installation of floor hatches has begun in earnest.
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Quote from: Max™ on December 06, 2015, 04:09:21 am
Also, if you ever figure out why poets/bards/dancers just randomly start butchering people/getting butchered, please don't fix it, I love never knowing when a dance party will turn into a slaughter.

Bakaridjan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9444 on: October 27, 2015, 02:28:56 pm »

Just started a new fort and was digging around but not finding any weaponable metals, not even copper. There was some silver, which can do in a pinch for weapons but not armor. Finally I hit a magnetite cluster, on the same level as my forges even, and what do I do? Like a typical Urist Mcdumbass, I decided to dig up and see if it extended to any other Z-levels. Of course the next level up was a an aquifer that I had somehow missed when I was digging my fort in the same biome!

It took me awhile to realize my error though, and my dwarf had already automined out a big section of the cluster so all that magnetite was pretty much lost to the flood.

I did get it walled off and now I actually went back and dug it out from the top, but I lost like 5 dwarves doing that because it was the first time I'd tried digging out an aquifer in a freezing biome. I couldn't stop the little bastards from jumping in the channel they had just dug, before it froze over and killed them. I wouldn't have minded if they would have at least left their picks behind. In hindsight, I should have just left it for later and done more exploratory digging. There has to be some more magnetite around somewhere. It ended up being some pretty costly iron in the end.
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MantisMan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9445 on: October 28, 2015, 01:24:24 pm »

My bookmark in this thread was on page 213. Yikes.

I had a fort where one of my military dwarves apparently went on a serial murder rampage and started killing my other dwarves, including the military dwarves. Checking their kill list, it seems they were responsible for several killings in the fort over the past few years. They weren't going berserk or anything, they were just murdering my dwarves. Part of it might have been a loyalty cascade from werecreatures, but I don't know if that explains everything, since she was slaughtering my crafters, too.

Anyway, I was under seige by about 32 zombies and 3 necromancers. All I knew about zombies in this version was that they were easier to kill than the older, practically invincible zombies, so I was planning on stripping her equipment and sending her to her doom, since I was losing dwarved at an alarming rate from her.

I had her hand in her equipment, and stationed her squad in my walled courtyard, prepared to let in 1-3 zombies (closing the drawbridge behind them) and hope that she dies from her wounds, at which point, I'd send the rest of my military in to mop up.

Basically, the zombies ended up being a lot more dangerous than I expected, and I ended up losing most of my military, including my emergency marksdwarf squad.

I did have hatchcovers leading to every part of my fort below the trade depot, but unfortunately, all my military equipment and barracks stuff was on that upper level, so I didn't have any real weapons or armour to fight off the zombies with.

Rather than continue with the fort in that situation, with zombies milling around in the upper area, I decided to abandon the fortress.
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How I usually build my fort.
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spazyak

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9446 on: October 28, 2015, 02:09:04 pm »

forgot to save abotu 3 hours in, unplugged flash drive from computer, cried...A lot!
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9447 on: October 28, 2015, 03:50:42 pm »

I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
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TheFlame52

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9448 on: October 28, 2015, 04:24:09 pm »

I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Oh god

How did it end?

DolosusDoleus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9449 on: October 28, 2015, 06:22:42 pm »

I was trying to make an arena where I would get rid of some pesky demons and FB/titans by making them fight against each other.

I didn't build a wall where the arena connected to the surface.
Oh god

How did it end?

One of the FBs, a giant blob made of some stone that shot webs made it to the surface. All the dwarves decided that they would rather party than pull the lever that closed the front entrance.

Everyone got killed except for a child, a miner, and a woodcutter. All of them died of thirst.
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance
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