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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2214510 times)

Larix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9315 on: July 07, 2015, 03:38:48 pm »

A while ago:
Bowyer got a mood, but i didn't pay much attention: an unholy hauling backlog had piled up and we were busy getting things moved before half the food rotted or something stupid like that. Six gameweeks later, the bowyer snapped and went melancholic. We had never gotten around to building a bowyer's workshop. Whoops.

Some annoying pterosaur forgotten beast was massacring all cavern wildlife, on all cavern levels (there are crawlways all the way up and down). It's pretty beaten up but just won't die. So we tried to lure it into a minecart smasher. Astonishingly enough, it survived even that and took down the security door before anyone could be arsed to floor over the main entryway. Fortunately (?) it tried to demolish the well and mis-pathed there, getting stuck in a door jamb. It eventually trundled down another dozen levels and got stuck next to a door down there and we got everything properly locked up, secured and a replacement well built, but it was a great big mess. Mainly because we couldn't risk it catching sight of anyone, the fort has no military; if it had started hunting dwarfs, things would have turned quite grim.
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ImagoDeo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9316 on: July 10, 2015, 02:40:13 am »

I was using the digging-from-under-a-bridge trick to empty my well cistern at Gikenstul issunbunsothgeshud Amud, and the miner mined it out from over the bridge instead of under it because I forgot to lock a door.

I felt very very stupid.

Then I noticed she was a legendary swimmer from the danger room/swimming room I have as a meeting area.

I felt very very smart.
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What would it be like to live in a world that was copy/pasted? Would we even notice? If not, how many times have we switched celestial harddrives or whatever?

ExplodingGuy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9317 on: July 10, 2015, 05:59:19 pm »

The other day I was attacked by a feathered, fire-breathing nematode forgotten beast. After around a month or two of trying to kill this thing with cave-ins and (sometimes) brute force, resulting in a handful of deaths. The nematode finally made its way into the mines one z-level below my fort's lower entrance. "A vile force of darkness has arrived!" Great, time to lock up the fortress and fire the magma cannons! "The werelizard Human McMurderspree has come" Great! I don't have to deal with the gobbos myself! So, I let the werelizard do its thing and while I regrouped my warriors to prevent the nematode from getting any further. Eventually the nematode was caught in an alcohol wine explosion from a wine barrel carried by a recruit and burned to death. Celebrating the beast's ironic death, I noticed an interruption caused by a werelizard. Went to the announcement screen and noticed two pages of dwarven deaths and interruptions caused by the werelizard.

I failed to notice a hole in the ceiling above my stockpiles.

The werelizard caused fifteen deaths before turning back into his human form, and the ensuing infected caused seventy more deaths.

And to add some icing on the cake, a forgotten beast spider killed three more warrior dwarves with a necrotic poison, who couldn't be treated because the werelizard infectees killed my hospital staff.
 
Needless to say, the forty-some survivors are either melancholic or just don't care anymore.

At least a caravan arrived this year.
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Zorkdeath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9318 on: July 11, 2015, 05:16:27 pm »

Spending half an hour trying to figure out why I couldn't smooth "stone" (turns out it was clay) and, later, why I couldn't engrave stone with the v key.
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Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9319 on: July 12, 2015, 04:55:32 pm »

I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

SimRobert2001

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9320 on: July 12, 2015, 10:50:16 pm »

I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
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Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9321 on: July 13, 2015, 01:16:36 am »

I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
That fort also has the most robust agriculture, prepared food, and textile industry I've ever created T_T Decorated items are worthless when I can dump 60,000 wealth in prepared food on the trade caravans without breaking a sweat.
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

SimRobert2001

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9322 on: July 13, 2015, 02:56:37 am »

I was unaware that you make glass items directly from bags of sand.

So one of my forts has a mountain of useless raw green glass as gems, when I thought I was stockpiling glass resources T_T
you can decoraye with them, at least.
That fort also has the most robust agriculture, prepared food, and textile industry I've ever created T_T Decorated items are worthless when I can dump 60,000 wealth in prepared food on the trade caravans without breaking a sweat.
decorate furniture for your dwarves.
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bool1989

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9323 on: July 15, 2015, 06:12:33 am »

I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
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TomiTapio

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9324 on: July 15, 2015, 07:36:50 am »

I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
what, do we modders need a "move lye from barrel/pot to bucket" reaction?
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==OldGenesis mod== by Deon & TomiTapio. Five wood classes, four leather classes. Nine enemy civs. So much fine-tuning.
47.05e release: http://dffd.bay12games.com/who.php?id=1538
OldGenesis screenshots: https://twitter.com/hashtag/OldGenesis?src=hashtag_click&f=image
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bool1989

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9325 on: July 15, 2015, 08:26:01 am »

I spent a whole week trying to figure out why my dwarfs would not make soap from all the tallow and lye i had, then i realized it was because all of my lye was in barrels or pots, which made it unusable for some reason.

/facepalm
what, do we modders need a "move lye from barrel/pot to bucket" reaction?

well, what I did was make a separate stockpile for lye with no barrels/pots allowed. that worked.
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Noel.se

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9326 on: July 16, 2015, 10:09:05 am »

Somehow, I thought that it would be a good idea to not create a quarantine zone after a weretortoise attack...  even after those who were wounded during the first attack started to transform.
My hospital is fully stocked and my physicians are skilled -everyone who was wounded survived, including the infected ones.
After three (or four?) full moons I walled off the last werebeast (the others were killed by the military without causing further trouble), my legendary +5 engraver, in a 3*3 room where he will remain forever.
About 55 out of my 100 dwarves died.
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SyrusLD

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9327 on: July 16, 2015, 06:52:21 pm »

I build a raising bridge (1 tile long, 2 wide) to wall off my "security checkpoint" from the area where the invaders go through in case of a siege, so that, in case I felt something too big to handle was coming in, I could completly close off that entrance area.

When testing whether this "door" worked, I ordered the lever to be pulled, watched as a dwarf went and pulled it and paused a bit later.
Thinking I had waited long enough I ordered my military to move through the "door", expecting them to go the long route around the (hopefully now) closed path...

...it ended with a few messages of masterworks being lost and two of my spearmasters having vanished into thin air.
But hey, the "door" worked!... just ... took a bit longer to close than expected.
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In Remembrance of Bengel Hairybasement,
Strangler of a Sasquatch, Troglodytes and a Cyclops,
Slayer of a Giantess, whom he burned alive.
Died in a Heroic Fight with a Grizzly Bear.

MobRules

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9328 on: July 17, 2015, 07:14:19 am »

I build a raising bridge (1 tile long, 2 wide) to wall off my "security checkpoint" from the area where the invaders go through in case of a siege, so that, in case I felt something too big to handle was coming in, I could completly close off that entrance area.

When testing whether this "door" worked, I ordered the lever to be pulled, watched as a dwarf went and pulled it and paused a bit later.
Thinking I had waited long enough I ordered my military to move through the "door", expecting them to go the long route around the (hopefully now) closed path...

...it ended with a few messages of masterworks being lost and two of my spearmasters having vanished into thin air.
But hey, the "door" worked!... just ... took a bit longer to close than expected.

This is why I always make drawbridges two tiles long (so I can easily see whether thy are open or closed). No matter how long you make them, they are only one tile high when closed, so you can put two-tile long drawbridges in one-tile-high corridors without difficulty.
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Ninja dragons! Protect the masterwork roasts!
Is this biome reanimating? I really don't want to know what happens when "absurd numbers of megabeasts" is combined with "reanimating biomes".

G3Kappa

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9329 on: July 17, 2015, 04:37:32 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And so, today I learn about magma men and the importance of using embark points on stone blocks.

EDIT: New migrants came, giving me new hope, moments before a werebison finished off my fortress. RIP.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2015, 04:43:39 pm by G3Kappa »
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