Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Uzu Bash]

I had long mocked the lack of progress of one of my units, but while I was switching out armors for newly available ones, I noticed they were wearing an incomplete version of the city guard armor.

The captain wasn't even equipped with the gear he had when he left the elite unit, and the guy I handed the whip to, who showed 0 skill after 6 months, hadn't been wielding it. The rest had nothing but shield. They had been guarding the entrance with bone armor, leather, and wooden shields this whole time.

[Skullsploder]

I had long mocked the lack of progress of one of my units, but while I was switching out armors for newly available ones, I noticed they were wearing an incomplete version of the city guard armor.

The captain wasn't even equipped with the gear he had when he left the elite unit, and the guy I handed the whip to, who showed 0 skill after 6 months, hadn't been wielding it. The rest had nothing but shield. They had been guarding the entrance with bone armor, leather, and wooden shields this whole time.

Yeah that's something I really dislike about the uniform priorities - The captain of your second squad is ranked lower than the 10th recruit in your first squad in terms of equipment priorities. I manually equip my captains most of the time, as that ensures they get the stuff they're meant to get.

[toa697]

I had a really bad face palm just today when I was attempting to figure out why my drink was dwindling in the hundreds while my still was working full time.

I had accidentally set it to extract from plant instead of brew and it had been left that way ever sense the last spring. its almost the end of the year right now.

[Adragis]

I was trying to role play as an assassin, and after I took down two guys at once with a multitrack neckstab, I began batting arrows out of the air, etc. etc. while I went after this goblin bandit leader.
Some random goblin tanner or something stabbed me in the leg and I fell over, at which the gobbo leader smashed my head in with a hammer. Turns out I'd never put any armour on my legs.

[jrrocks1]

Dude

[Sanctume]

Started with a small 11x11 above ground walls for the Depot, then covered the 30x20 pasture around my 3x3 central stairs.
I have lots of logs in this wilderness embark, so I made the walls 2-z high. 

Hmm, sapplings are growing around the wall perimeters, so instead of using constructed floors at 1 log each, I opt for constucted road using 1 log for 3 tiles, or 3 logs for 10 tiles (a great discount!)

A goblin siege, 1 trapped while 2 stuck waiting on the south ramp entrance.
2 trapped while 3 stuck waiting on the west ramp entrance.

A titan, blob of flame arrives in the west.

At first, titan chased and shoot fireballs at a herd of kangaroos roaming SW.
The chase pathed the entire SW to SE, fire ablazed!

After the herd, titan path's toward my fortress, sees the goblins on the south, torched the wooden cage trap and eventually the goblin got freed only to get burned. 
I have minimal military, opting for a tunnel and bridge of cage traps in my NE.   But no one is visiting there!

/facepalm, in my awe at the fireballs vs kangaroo, I forgot I left the hatch unlocked to invite the goblins to path in. Doh!

Lots of smoke in the south but no path anymore, and titan eventually swung west to the other goblins.
It burnt 3 more, but ignored the 2 caged ones?

/facepalm 2, there's still another hatch that is not forbidden in the west, not it is inside the pasture.
Wolverine (tamed) goes aflame!  other beasts run north towards my tunnel/bridge cage traps.

In desperation, my 1 Axe, 1 Mace, 1 Spear, 1 Miner, and 4 Xbow recruits are mobilized.
2 bolts and the blob is gone.  No kill count.  Just that the bolts hits tearing tissue.  Twice and blob is gone. 

/facepalm 3, and when I thought I was safe, the 1 tile roads around my perimeter started burning. 
But at least the walls and fortifications are indestructible.  Just lots of smoke.

However, I spent the next 3 seasons getting spammed by "something in the surface collapsed."
Now only is the fire spreading all around me, it is burning on the z+ and collapsing tall trees.
I have at least 10 tile tree-less perimeter though.

[Grim Holiday]

Accidentally let out a goblin lasher from a recent siege in the barracks. Managed to kill four of my military dwarves before a hammerdwarf had enough, turned round and smacked him the face with his silver warhammer. Bad times.

[DeusTempestas]

Not forbidding the collection of dead dwarfs until the bronze titan was gone. They all marched into the dwarfgrinder til it was just the two year old mayor left. 

[whatever1works]

Got a zombie undead siege.

Cool Cool i got this... Oh wait, thats right the mechanic didn't link the new bridge (old one was tantrumed) to the lever in the hall... so there's a brigde but no way to close it.

Welp, its a good thing i prepare for this sort of thing. I've got the fort entrance staircase closed with hatch covers..... except, one is missing?
Oh great, looks like that got tantrumed too and i didn't see over all the blood, -pig tails socks- and blocks.

Haha good one urist. Ok, well at least i can seal off the main meeting hall (i mean we'll save most at least) because i put doors there too.

Oh what's that you tell me? You destroyed that too?

..
...


WELLL THAN YOU DESERVE TO DIE. PEACE OUT MORONS.
*Facepalm

[utunnels]

Haha, maybe you can sacrifice your military so they have time to build a new door...or wall.

[slinger342]

So after building my hospital, I decided to build a fairly simple Well next to it which was controlled by some levers/flood gates. I finished building the water holding room and turned off the flood gates and proceeded to build the well. After about a minute, i completely forgot to turn off the floodgate and the water poured into the hospital, drowning all the incapacitated patients.

The Funniest part about the whole thing was that one of my doctors was in there at the time and thought it would be a better idea to save all the cloth and soap before even considering to rescue his patients.

[HawaiianJon]

Regarding a certain incident, I am animating this scenario as a fake advertisement for my Economics class (High School version)

I had a murky pool turned into a giant pit to hold water above ground, and there was a well for it that I suspended at the end of the wooden bridge that just was in the middle of the pit.
At one point, 4 dwarves were walking across the bridge when suddenly, Urist McMoodswing goes berserk and punches one of them and the punched one falls off the bridge, into the pit and drowns.
After that, the military dwarf with them knocks HIM off, and soon after realized he just killed his wife over a long time of stress, and goes melancholy. The last dwarf for no reason strips and starts running around babbling, setting off a lever that melted about 30 dwarves who were out on log gathering duty outside the walls which was booby trapped with a recyclable lava flow.
After losing about 1/5 of the fort within a minute, I then had a siege occur, with the gate open by the nude anomaly that is Cog Mirrorednuts, I sat and watched as the goblins start rushing in.
I then watched as my candy mining operation accidently broke open the circus and then ordered all the dwarves to gather in The Vault (where I keep the small amount of extra food in case of such an event, because this is DF.)
Only 3 dwarves made it down to the burrow and sealed it off with the log dedicated to seal the passage until needed.
One moment later:
The only dwarves left are the three in The Vault. One is a Military guy, a farmer, and a newly migrated siege operator. The Siege Operator decides, "Hey, right now would be a good idea to go berserk." And attacked my Military dwarf with the pick I assigned for him to mine with.
One fight and a lost arm later, I assign the Farmer to become a doctor to try and clean the wound, only for the military dude to bleed out from the various other cuts and broken limbs, and the farmer is left alone, the only dwarf, and I watch as a month passes, food ran out, and about a years worth of water remaining (A poor estimate, but hey, ya never know)
Migrants come in and I immediately order the farmer to unblock the door, despite any danger. The farmer meets with the migrants in the meeting hall and eats immediately.
Then the what used to be the Goblin Massacre Bronze Colossus that was caged, busts through the door and charges at my dwarves. In this moment, I imagine that the migrants slowly raised their fists toward the Colossus (Who I imagined to be Barba from SotC). I ordered the coward to run to the Fort Destruct device and watched as everything imploded. The Colossus chased and murdered the dwarves outside (The Hall was the entrance to the entire fort.)

Only later when I came back did I remember the Colossus survived. That group of Humans (I modded the game to have humans be playable and an above-ground version of the dwarves.) only survived for about 25 seconds or so.

[PDF urist master]

i suddenly had a problem where the entire metal industry shut down. no melting, no strand extraction, no smithing. I spent a good hour trying to figure out the problem, it turns out I accidentally destroyed the ramps leading down to half the fort.

[20firebird]

I don't have any fort mode moments, oddly enough, so I hope other stuff is okay.
It took me quite some time to realize I could add/remove things to/from backpacks without dropping things in adventure mode. I spent a good deal of time dropping and picking up items to move things from hand to backpack.
And, a modding related one, I finally figured out that my seemingly perfectly fine entity file wasn't working because I forgot the opening text.

[k9wazere]

Vengeful dwarves are insane. The pinacle of insane.

Embark in a zombie biome. Two peasants catch site of a Giant Zombie Grasshopper (aka murder incarnate), and decide they fancy their odds in a fist fight. The miner gets the same idea. Said grasshopper is actually leaving them alone, because...

...it's on the other side of a freakin' river. So the dorfs proceed to dive into the river to get to the zombie. One drowns in the river. The other two provide a quick snack for the (giant) zombie.

All together now... /facepalm. Three needless deaths.

Amazingly, the two military dorfs totally ignored the thing. You know, the chaps with armour and weapons.