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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2211216 times)

Ancalagon_TB

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9015 on: November 23, 2014, 03:17:36 am »

Mine was pretty minor - infant followed mother into a danger room.  Oops... Her morale took a big  hit, but she's "fine" so no tantrum.
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Snaake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9016 on: November 23, 2014, 03:55:25 pm »

...This is almost too incredible for me to believe.  This dwarf killed the above-ground equivalent of a forgotten beast single-handedly and without letting it get in any blows, while chained to the floor.

This is one of the most epic DF tales I've read in a while. Your militia commander is honored with a title after for going on a tantrum-murder spree in which he killed 3 dwarves, 2 of them (minor) nobles, 1 of those the captain of the guard, effectively the chief of the (paramilitary) police & head judge combined. My guess is everyone was too afraid to try and give him a beating/hammering anyway, or thought it would have no effect. Because there is some justice even in DF, he is sent to prison, but for some reason allowed to keep his arms&armour. While jailed, he inadvertently becomes the forts only line of defence from flying enemies due to an oversight on the overseer's part resulting in his cell having an open skylight. He fights a flying titan without suffering any injuries while chained to the floor in a cell, only to have the beasts corpse fall on him.

And eventually, his tale gets a suitably legendary ending with him and his son being killed in a tantrum-related, gore-filled free-for-all.

Edited for some grammar.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2014, 01:47:30 pm by Snaake »
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Bigheaded

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9017 on: November 23, 2014, 05:03:11 pm »

So i'm in a world gen where there's multiple necromancers wandering around, in my first fort it took less than a year to be attacked by a necromancer and being sorely unprepared, got destroyed. I.e i had two decently trained hammerdwarves who crushed every bone in 4 of their bodies and then they got tired and basically got killed cos of that.

So i decided to relocate nearby, this time, plan is, is to use water to push them into a drop and hopefully hurt them/drown them.

Facepalm #1, i selected a region which was 37 z levels deep, the cavern taking up most of around z11-z13. So max drop i had was about 10.
Facepalm #2, Whilst digging the hole, the miner got stuck. I decided this was somewhat easily fixable, he can just tunnel his way to the surface away from the fort itself, so that if invaders really wanted they can keep doing a circuit of being pushed down a hole and walking back upto surface.
Facepalm #3, A giant Toad wanders into my meeting hall. i was like WAT? trogoldytes completed ignored the stairs. Giant Toad runs into my meeting hall like a freaking immigrant! thankfully my hammerdwarf took care of it in 3 hits.
Facepalm #4, A GCS now runs into my meeting hall, and kicks the flying heck out of everything.
Facepalm #5, I have a trapper and could have simply placed 1 single trap on the way up to avoid this sort of thing, and would then have a GCS to fight against the zombie hoard. Oh well.
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Ancalagon_TB

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9018 on: November 23, 2014, 07:43:52 pm »

...This is almost too incredible for me to believe.  This dwarf killed the above-ground equivalent of a forgotten beast single-handedly and without letting it get in any blows, while chained to the floor.

This is one of the most epic DF tales I've read in a while. Your militia commander is honored with a title after going on a tantrum-murder spree in which he killed 3 dwarves, 2 of them (minor) nobles... 1 of them was even the captain of the guard, effectively the chief of the (paramilitary) police & head judge combined. My guess is everyone was too afraid to try and give him a beating/hammering anyway, or thought it would have no effect. Because there is some justice even in DF, he is sent to prison, but for some reason allowed to keep his arms&armour, where he inadvertently becomes the only line of defence from flying enemies due to an oversight on the overseer's part resulting in his cell having an open skylight. He fights a flying titan without suffering injury while chained to the floor in a cell, only to have the beasts corpse fall on him.

And eventually, his tale gets a suitably legendary ending with him and his son being killed in a tantrum-related, gore-filled free-for-all.

I have to concur, that was pretty bad-ass
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Spehss _

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9019 on: November 23, 2014, 08:38:47 pm »

I found a god named "The Scalded Disemboweled Boar" which despite the name was depicted as a male conger eel and was a god of the human civilization The Sensitive Kingdom.

Wow. So much facepalm material. "This is our god, he's a conger eel. You know what he looks like? A scalded, disemboweled boar. Yeah, let's call him that."
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Col_Jessep

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9020 on: November 23, 2014, 08:53:25 pm »

That eel really need some PR advice from professionals! xD
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Edward Evjen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9021 on: November 26, 2014, 02:33:27 am »

I accidentally caused my artifacts to be stored outside while a group of Kea tourists were looking for merchandise.
nothing quite like watching them carry away...
I might execute my rangers for not arming themselves with crossbows, they practically waved farewell.
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Thisfox

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9022 on: November 26, 2014, 02:53:01 pm »

"No, wait, don't release the blind cave ogres from the cages until after the sarcophagus is filled!
....Okay, fine, I'll put you in the bloody sarcophagus you idiotic mechanic.....
No, don't open that door, wait for the cage traps to do their... job. Okay. Fine. Is there anyone in the fort with the ability to haul fresh corpses? Fighting stuff while you're doing it might be a requisite as well... "
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gunpowdertea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9023 on: November 27, 2014, 08:12:48 am »

I obviously need to work on my scheduling: I'm currently building an "isolation camp" for my werecreature dorfs so that they don't attack the others every 28 (24? 25.5? whatever.) days. It involves minecart tracks that trigger plates to open and close floor hatches for the minecarts to leave the camp, deliver the goods, and return with more raw materials (one of the werefoxes is a Master Carpenter already, though they are at the moment locked into one of the dining rooms to avoid... accidents). As I am a bit (read: a lot) inexperienced with minecart designs I need to test stuff like how far away from the hatch do I need to place the pressure plate so that the cart can pass (barely). There are also some impuls ramps in the design...

The mechanic who had to link the plate and the hatch was maimed by a cart that I already assigned to the track. He is now in hospital - at least some training for my doctors. I know I should have stayed with garbage dump zones and shafts (but then the falling masterwork training axes will inevitably strike somebody in the head).
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smeeprocket

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9024 on: November 27, 2014, 02:10:21 pm »

nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
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Magistrum

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9025 on: November 28, 2014, 11:17:04 am »

nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
And FUN too when the occasional airhead walks nearby...
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smeeprocket

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9026 on: November 28, 2014, 04:41:59 pm »

nah minecarts are the way to go. They are way more fun.
And FUN too when the occasional airhead walks nearby...

set all the tracks to high traffic and order the dwarves to ride the cart for even more FUN.
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gunpowdertea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9027 on: December 04, 2014, 06:05:15 am »

Hm. I thought when riding the minecart tehy would avoid collisions with other Dorfs? Now I need to try this, make a rollercoaster to mow down trogs or so, which should make the dorfs used to witnessing death. Too bad the caverns are sort of off-limits at the moment, there's like four FBs in them (and they slaughtered the trogs, so I have to wait until new ones come in). My military is really low level, I had a few migrants after almost succumbing to an invasion (one dorf left), and I'm tring to clean up the mess and at least bury the dead that lie inside. Outside we have a necromancer siege again. *sigh*

FP: Digging a ramp up and not checking that there was a workshop on top. Removed workshop now and did not check that when ramping up under a workshop there seems to be no hole at that z level. Minecart went up, bounced, went back, smashed my engineers hand and arm. *sigh*
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Insert_Gnome_Here

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9028 on: December 06, 2014, 05:40:24 am »

Hm. I thought when riding the minecart tehy would avoid collisions with other Dorfs? Now I need to try this, make a rollercoaster to mow down trogs or so, which should make the dorfs used to witnessing death. Too bad the caverns are sort of off-limits at the moment, there's like four FBs in them (and they slaughtered the trogs, so I have to wait until new ones come in). My military is really low level, I had a few migrants after almost succumbing to an invasion (one dorf left), and I'm tring to clean up the mess and at least bury the dead that lie inside. Outside we have a necromancer siege again. *sigh*

FP: Digging a ramp up and not checking that there was a workshop on top. Removed workshop now and did not check that when ramping up under a workshop there seems to be no hole at that z level. Minecart went up, bounced, went back, smashed my engineers hand and arm. *sigh*

AFAIK, they don't collide when guided, but when ridden, splat.
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Professor Lemur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9029 on: December 06, 2014, 07:46:14 am »

After telling my grand militia of two untrained dorfs to kill some capybaras, something gets confused down the line. The commander stood still in a pool of blood for a month, as well as the recruit.
They weren't dead; they were just stuck there, as if admiring the scenery was more important than food and drink. While all this is going on, I have dwarves who are just doing random jobs aboveground and they're making more effort to kill the capybaras. Sure, I did lose one dorf, but it isn't really a proper year when a Dwarf isn't dying from angry goblins, angry hippos, angry magma...

I managed to get the commander to snap out of it, but only by channelling around him and praying that a broken leg will get his attention. It worked! Now I just need to sort out the recruit...
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