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[Naglfar]

I planned an embarkation for thirty minutes and died immediately because I do not know how to brew. 

[Liber celi]

I planned an embarkation for thirty minutes and died immediately because I do not know how to brew. 

Embark on a brook! Bigger courses of water can cause problems, but brooks are safe, clean and I'm 99% sure dwarves can drink from them without a well.

On topic: I embarked with a full Mining&Metalsmithing crew, only to notice my agressive world gen optimization had left me with an embark not deeper than three z-levels.

[Valikdu]

I've accidentally magma onto the charcoal stockpile.

[Icefire2314]

Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..

Make him a hammerer or captain of the guard. I assing them training weapons and they will use them as batons for beating the crap out of criminals without killing them.

Isn't that supposed to be fixed regardless though with lethality levels in combat?

[thendes]

3 weremice at once.
Carnage.

[khearn]

So I'm watching my miner dig out the last tile between the cavern and my forgotten beast trap. I just watched an FB run past a minute ago, chasing a crundle, so I'm standing by to forbid the door the miner will run through right after he finishes digging. I've even designated a bunch of marble a few floors up to be dug so he'll have a job to head for instead of standing around twiddling his thumbs. I've also got a bridge that will be closed, but the door is to delay the FB long enough to get the lever pulled.

Suddenly, just as the miner finishes and starts to run, but before I can forbid the door or order the bridge lever pulled, my viewpoint is yanked up to the surface, where one of our watch-poultry has spotted a wereboar. Shit, just what I need right to deal with right now. Ok, I can just go back down and do those things, then   come up and deal with the wereboar, let's see, I need to make sure everyone has their armor on, then check...

So I hit enter to dismiss the wereboar popup, and am already thinking about heading back down there and suddenly get "Merit deserves a reward, and I come empowered to establish this colony as an official land of our realm. Do you have any dwarves to recommend for elevation?"

NOOOO! I don't want to stop and look through all of my dwarves for a good baron candidate right now! I'm freaking busy!

Sheesh, it never rains, it pours.

   Keith

[Thisfox]

It never rains but it pours.
I didn't know you could check the dwarfs out when they offer you a peerage recommendation for one of them. How do you do that? I guess it doesn't matter too much.

I try to have my first seven dwarfs sussed out and the best two or three (in case I loose some in accidents) with the best attributes get their names written in my logbook for later peerages. It's the same notebook that has the things the traders want next year, or my theories on who is a vampire, or whether this fort wants to keep the sheep for wool, or goats, this season. Etc.

[FoiledFencer]

Minkot Stinthadanost, Laochra, has grown attached to a coffee wood training spear!

Thiiiiiis could prove problematic..

Make him a hammerer or captain of the guard. I assing them training weapons and they will use them as batons for beating the crap out of criminals without killing them.

Isn't that supposed to be fixed regardless though with lethality levels in combat?

Good point! I haven't seen any beatings dealt out yet, but I've had tantrumming dwarves punching eachothers skulls in, but I am not sure if that's lethal combat or accidental.

EDIT: It just occurs to me that with a more nuanced approach to thoughts and the inclusion of lethality levels, it might be possible to set it up so you can sic your fortress guard on rioters without causing catastrophic civilian losses or loyalty cascades.

[khearn]

It never rains but it pours.
I didn't know you could check the dwarfs out when they offer you a peerage recommendation for one of them. How do you do that? I guess it doesn't matter too much.

I try to have my first seven dwarfs sussed out and the best two or three (in case I loose some in accidents) with the best attributes get their names written in my logbook for later peerages. It's the same notebook that has the things the traders want next year, or my theories on who is a vampire, or whether this fort wants to keep the sheep for wool, or goats, this season. Etc.

I use dwarf therapist and mainly look for dwarves with no item preferences in order to eliminate pesky mandates.

    Keith

[khearn]

Continuing my situation with the FB, werewarthog (not wereboar as I said earlier), and outpost liaison: I take the time and search through my dwarves for Baron candidates. It turns out that I have over a dozen with no item preferences, including my resident vampire, who is currently sitting out a 401 day sentence for 2 murders. He's also one of my best soldiers, which makes having him in prison inconvenient at the moment. But there's no way I'm making him Baron. Anyway, I pick out the least offensive of the lot and recommend him to the liaison, then sit impatiently through all the gossip about who got kidnapped, and who got elected mayor in forts I've never heard of. Then we go through the trade agreements while I'm really thinking about other things. "You want lots of drums next year? Sure, whatever. We're making rock mugs, like usual." I finally get rid of him. "Yeah, yeah, rise and fall together. Excuse me while I go deal with a forgotten beast and a werewarthog, or we're going to fall together a lot sooner than you might think."

So I get the lever pulled and the bridge raises so I don't have to deal with the FB in the caverns for the moment. Then I set the "DEFCON1" alert to activate the civilian burrow, and then station my melee and crossbow squads in the hallway just inside the door that leads out to the depot and main entrance hallway. At this point the werewarthog is getting close enough to my outer walls that I'm a little concerned about whether the crossbow dwarves who are supposed to be patrolling the walls will make it inside in time, so I check and there is no one on the walls. I suppose this should bother me, but at this point I'm happy to see that they're derelicting their duties.

I watch the werehog rush through my outer gate, and just as he's going down the ramp into my fort towards my waiting ambush, the commander of my crossbow squad appears at the top of the ramp. *facepalm*. "WTF are you doing there?!!" He and the hog start dancing around, jumping out of each other's way while I direct both squads to get out there and help.

I go and check to see where they all are, and see two swordsdwarves and the outpost liaison coming up the hallway between the main stairs and the entrance. The archer captain and the werehog continue dancing, and I see the hog manage to bite the captain a couple of times, so I make a note to quarantine him if he survives. Then the hog gets a wrestling hold on the captain and dislocates his hip, causing the captain to give in to the pain. In the mean time, the liaison and the two soldiers get to the 1 tile wide door and do a Three Stooges routine trying to get through it, forcing the soldiers to get down and crawl. "Thanks a lot, liaison. I really need for you to slow my troops down. You're just going to turn around and run as soon as you round the next corner and see the fight, anyways."

Well, the hog is now alternating between practicing various wrestling moves and futilely trying to bit the captain's head through his -steel helm-. Another marksdwarf shows up, fires one bolt (to no effect) and then decides to rush into hand to hand combat with a werewarthog. Another facepalm moment.

Then the liaison rounds the corner ahead of the swordsdwarves, and rather than run away, he charges forward. He proceeds to rush up to the werewarthog and grab its tongue! Facepalm moment number 3. "Here's something they may not have taught you in diplomacy school: If you're fighting a night creature who spreads it's terrible curse by biting, do not put your hands anywhere near its mouth. In particular, do not reach inside its mouth and grab its tongue, you inbred moron!"

Predictably, the werehog spends most of the rest of the fight biting and shaking the liaison. This does, however, give the rest of my troops the opportunity to arrive and eventually kill the beast. So now I've got an archer captain that was bitten a few times and has several dislocated joints, another soldier who I think was bitten once or twice (need to go over the logs again), and an outpost liaison who was bitten so many times that he is faint from loss of blood. I don't know if I want him to survive or not. All the effort of searching for a baron candidate is wasted if he dies. But if he lives, will I have to worry about him turning into a werewarthog in the heart of my fort next year when he comes back?

I love this game!

   Keith

[pisskop]

I modded in a certain clown to be a megabeast.

In a test run I put stage 01 vs stage 02 in the arena.  S02 throws S01 by his thumb with her pincer, sending him to his death via massive trauma.  She chases after his limp, dying body and drowns in the river.

:faceplam:

[Valikdu]

I've used clearowned & autodump too much, leading to lots of unhappy thoughts due to nudity, leading to multiple simultaneous tantrums in the dining hall.

The horror.

[Bralbaard]

I had just finished digging a wide moat around my fortress , and the construction of an impressive drawbridge. The moat was nearly filled with water, when finally the first caravan shows up with much needed trade goods. I have my dwarves haul the glass crafts and goblets to the depot, then watch in horror as the wagons plunge into the moat and drown themselves.

So after spending the first year digging the moat, my next project will be to drain the moat so I can get the anvil and other goods that are now sitting under water. Of course I forgot to install floodgates for emergencies like this before filling the moat.

So I finally have everything in place to drain the moat: I have ten screw pumps to pump the water out (and keep new water from flowing in) windmills to power it all, and axles and gear assemblies to link it all up. There have been a lot of other preparations for when the moat has been drained. So I finally pull the switch and... nothing happens. After reading up on windmills I find out I happen to be on an embark where there is simply no wind. -facepalm-

[suokko]

I choose to embark to terrifying freezing tundra. I loaded saved embark setup that has only only anvil, minimal alcohol and raw materials. I managed to build 5x8 shelter. Soon follow by attempt to build smelter and forge. At this point I notice that my civilization didn't provide iron anvils. Oops!

How would dwarf survive to the autumn?

No way to survive without farms or water. But attempt actually failed sooner when raven corpses found error in my ceiling that left one side open for entry. I suppose I wouldn't have survived that surprise attack even if I had anvil to produce weapons and armors.

[Max™]

I just found out in the world gen thread that by highlighting a biome on embark you can make sure your wagon lands on the one square of non-bloodrain/zombie-wildlife horrors in the map...

I can deal with the awfulness if I have just a little breathing room, but starting out with the dwarves nauseous and panic-cleaning dwarf blood off of themselves rather than digging a defensible position before the six boar corpses around the corner find them... well, that ended quickly.