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[TimDogg]

I just forgot I was filling a pond to my dining hall so the dwarves would autowash.

Didn't check on it for a season, I had no reason to, all was perfect at that level. Until I noticed my auto brew drink jobs didn't fire. My digging assignments had stopped, my craft production had stopped...

When I found the culprit it was too late, no drinks, no plant production due to abandoned farms. Tantrum spiral in year two. Felt so dumb...

[Tacomagic]

Created a new fort and started getting everything going.  Once things were set up, I got to defenses.  Got a choke-point drawbridge in place in case I was invaded before the defenses were finished.  Good thing too, because I was sieged in the first spring and only had the beginnings of a military going at that point.

Recalled everything to my panic room, pulled the lever on the drawbridge and prepared to wait it out.

Everything is sealed up and ready to go, so I remove the burrow restriction and get ready for business as usual.  That's when I notice my carpenters show up on the surface and start building more wood blocks for the fort... just in time to be slaughtered by goblins.  Who proceed into my fortress and start killing.

Apparently when I'd made the block stockpile for my above-ground fortifications, I forgot to take into account that they were on the outside of the drawbridge and that I probably shouldn't make a direct shortcut to the mason workshops behind the drawbridge.

Another group of dorfs lost to poor planning.

[Torrenal]

Buy 2 of every animal from the dwarvan caravan.  Twice.

Then wonder a couple game years later why my FPS has halved... twice.

Pets/Livestock count now at 188.  I may need a larger meat stockpile shortly...



//Torrenal

[damnit,urist,youhadonejob]

i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all

[Tacomagic]

i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all

I guess your last hope is a nice, big vein of goblinite showing up.

[Aslandus]

Thought I would try a haunted biome, and my horse started getting hungry, so I just stuck her outside the fort with the water buffalo. The horse died, raised, and killed one of my original 7 dwarves, one dwarf tantrumed and killed another dwarf. The dwarf rose and systematically slaughtered my livestock and other dwarves. All before the first immigration wave, and before the first liaison.

[pisskop]

Thought I would try a haunted biome, and my horse started getting hungry, so I just stuck her outside the fort with the water buffalo. The horse died, raised, and killed one of my original 7 dwarves, one dwarf tantrumed and killed another dwarf. The dwarf rose and systematically slaughtered my livestock and other dwarves. All before the first immigration wave, and before the first liaison.

Reembark with 5 military dwarves and two miners.  Dig a pit, toss the body parts in as they die.  Then get inside asap.  Or just get inside asap. 
but I assume you want to keep topside as clear as possible as long as possible?

[ddenney1211]

Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...

[Rockphed]

i embarked into a world that had the goblins winning, i get a king(queen) the first year, i dig, i hit copper and zink. well crap i will have to dig farther down maybe i will get something better. i set up my base and it is going pretty good, make it to the second ( i think it is the third) cavern layers, i find candy, magma, and a new metal, i mine some up, i look at it, it is more copper. i now have more copper than i know what to do with and not a single bit of iron. also there are no caravans coming. at all

Copper shields work just fine.  Copper hammers and maces as well.  Also, Copper bolts.  Wooden balista bolts.  Magma cannons and drowning chambers.  Be creative.

[Tacomagic]

Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...

I feel so nearly bad that I laughed.

[Aslandus]

Just happened to me while I am playing, I gathered up 10 new recruits in a unit all with silver warhammers or maces and various metal armor moved them into a room with 6 goblins and 1 troll all in cages. Activate lever and all are released and watch as my attempt at a training session turns into a dwarven slaughter.

...I forgot to disarm the goblins...

I feel so nearly bad that I laughed.

Dwarf Fortress is basically Schadenfreude: the game. You play until you lose, then tell your story so everyone can enjoy your failure, and so you can savor everyone else's failure as well.

[Tacomagic]

Got sieged by goblins and kobolds at the same time.

The two are at war.

They attacked each other, then ran in fear from the bodies.  Siege broke shortly thereafter.

[StagnantSoul]

I set up a support to make cave-in traps on every floor of my underground mines, and, for some reason, set them all to the same lever. Then, I accidentally set that lever up to my drawbridge. So when an invasion came, I had a dwarf "close the gat!"... aaaand killed dozens of dwarves, including my legendary armor smith retrieving some iron from the stockpile.

[Slogo]

I start a new fort in an area where the only metal is Gold and Aluminum. Which I'm fine with as there's magma so I have my defenses covered. What I don't have are any early weapons. It's partially an evil biome so even without a strong plan to get a weapon I start a wrestler training so I can have someone with some discipline in case it's needed. A few migrant waves go by and I add a 2nd recruit to the military.

I breach the cavern and setup farms there. Some Trogdolytes come wandering by before the walls finish, but they're passive so it's all fine. Then somehow a fight breaks out. I check in and there are 2 Trogdolytes and 2 of my civilians. I station the military down there as well, as that's what they're for.

Very quickly the Trogdoyltes become very weakened with bruises and openings and all sorts of things of that nature. So they pass out.  Except so do the pulverizing dwarves. I try to force my woodcutter (training axe, but it's something) and miners to get involved, but when I recruit the woodcutter he drops the axe and not wanting to do the same thing with the miner my attempts to get him involved don't go anywhere.

Eventually one trog dies, the other wakes up though and kills 2 unconcious dwarves before I finally bring him down. Of course he manages this while just about his whole body is broken and bruised. Anyways that was quite the ordeal.

I finish the wall, but due to some food issues I'm short on food and leave a door to continue some gathering operations. A troll decides he wants to stroll in. Except he's not hostile either. He wanders the fort a bit scaring himself when he encounters some of my dwarves and I just sort of leave him there since I can't kill him anyways.

Eventually my miner decided he was tired of the troll so as he walked by the troll he stuck his pickaxe in his head a few times, killing the troll without it getting a hit in, and then proceeded on his way.

So to recap... Bloody, beaten, bruised, nauseous, tired trogdolyte: 2 kills. Big bad fully healthy Troll: 0.

[pisskop]

I start a new fort in an area where the only metal is Gold and Aluminum. Which I'm fine with as there's magma so I have my defenses covered. What I don't have are any early weapons. It's partially an evil biome so even without a strong plan to get a weapon I start a wrestler training so I can have someone with some discipline in case it's needed. A few migrant waves go by and I add a 2nd recruit to the military.

I breach the cavern and setup farms there. Some Trogdolytes come wandering by before the walls finish, but they're passive so it's all fine. Then somehow a fight breaks out. I check in and there are 2 Trogdolytes and 2 of my civilians. I station the military down there as well, as that's what they're for.

Very quickly the Trogdoyltes become very weakened with bruises and openings and all sorts of things of that nature. So they pass out.  Except so do the pulverizing dwarves. I try to force my woodcutter (training axe, but it's something) and miners to get involved, but when I recruit the woodcutter he drops the axe and not wanting to do the same thing with the miner my attempts to get him involved don't go anywhere.

Eventually one trog dies, the other wakes up though and kills 2 unconcious dwarves before I finally bring him down. Of course he manages this while just about his whole body is broken and bruised. Anyways that was quite the ordeal.

I finish the wall, but due to some food issues I'm short on food and leave a door to continue some gathering operations. A troll decides he wants to stroll in. Except he's not hostile either. He wanders the fort a bit scaring himself when he encounters some of my dwarves and I just sort of leave him there since I can't kill him anyways.

Eventually my miner decided he was tired of the troll so as he walked by the troll he stuck his pickaxe in his head a few times, killing the troll without it getting a hit in, and then proceeded on his way.

So to recap... Bloody, beaten, bruised, nauseous, tired trogdolyte: 2 kills. Big bad fully healthy Troll: 0.

To be completely fair to the troll, and speaking with only a marginal understanding of the presumably complex meta-evolution of them:

I imagine trolls to be a bit more like schizophrenic dogs than overtly aggressive beasts.  Actually, a bit like goblins.  By nature awkward and shy yet curious, but tempered with an aggression when it gets cornered or molded with a program.