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[Nikita]

I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???

Maybe a burrow is to blame.

Edit:

Game crashed. This is what happens when you don't save for 3 hours.

[UltraMagnus]

I decided to embark with 4 towers as neighbors...
Within 10 mins real time, I shit you not, they brought in an army of 30 undead goblins SKILLED weapon users...
And since sieges prevent migrants and trade depots, I was doing the peasantry challenge as well.
If that wasn't enough, food supply was low because I forgot that the soldiers will choose training over farming.
EVEN WORSE...
The only soldier I had went berserk and crippled everyone and no-one could do surgery so they just sat there, the goblin zombie horde just sipping tea on the edge of the map like: This is a jolly good show old chaps, now, what do we do? Sit here? Ok then.

Now I am on a new world, same conditions, but this time I have a pick and sand.
and sand and a pick go hand in hand if you can create glass... which I have done.
SERRATED DISKS FOR EVERYONE! (Also a Human siege came soon after I got the disks, they took a look at my trap bridge than RAN AWAY... not a single one was like, 'DUH, WHAT DOES THIS DO!?')

Semi-related because goblin entertainment.

A shitty home that I made needed a secure place to grow strawberries, because food and wine. I also needed a skylight for my soldiers' barracks. The obvious approach seemed to make a wood wall surrounding the strawberry fields. Unbeknownst to me at the time, construction was suspended (any and all notifications for it were buried in misc "Urist McFarmer cancels action plant seeds: Needs plump helmet spawn" or "Urist McBrew canceled action brew drink: Reasons"). While I will admit that it was partially my fault for not paying closer attention, it's hard not to feel contempt whenever 5 Urist McAsswipes decide that sleeping and/or talking is more important than doing their job.
Cue one soldier getting killed during a goblin siege, and this happens:

Not all of them are shown in this one image, but about 3/4 of my fortress ran from the hole on top of the hill (I forbid all other exit doors, but those carpenters...) straight into an open goblin ambush like lambs to the slaughter. The rest were either preoccupied with workshop tasks or lazy carpenters.

[NomeQueEuLembro]

Once I was attacked by a goblin siege. I had nothing to fear: I just needed to close my fortress and wait those guys go away, and so I did.
I was just happy with how awesome I was until the moment the Tantrum Spiral started and I realized dwarves needed something to drink.

Also, once I had a fortress next to a beach and prepared an underground chamber, wich ceilling was held by a single support and was filled with ocean-water. Then, I had a undead raid, but only the necromancer came. I tought: "Man, I'm so lucky! That's awesome! I'm gonna kill, put it over my chamber and collapse the support!". Besides the hard time I had until I learnt how to dump itens outside I got really surprised when I discovered necromancers can raise themselves from the dead and even more when after a lot of "haul body-kill undead body" my butchered parts destroyed my fortress.

[sculleywr]

Well, while finding rotten roaches due to cats (which I keep butchering the second they migrate in) is not unusual, I think my Urist McNecropants has relatives in my fortress, because I have a miasma problem in my bedrooms, on the 5th basement level of my fortress. Past my food stores, my workshops, and my barracks/hospital. So I go searching for the random rodent, only to find that three of my Urists have brought dead badgers into bed with them, and let them rot for gods know how long.

Also, on a not so facepalm moment, my first goblin attack wasn't a standard attack, but a full-blown siege, shortly after I had finished equipping my soldiers with shiny new copper armaments. Untrained, and with only a few badger boars notching their blades, The Roasted Gears waited in the northern farms, short of my entrance, for the 20-something goblins and their cave crawler to come in. In what can only be described as the shortest battle in my history of playing this game, the goblins were massacred at the front entrance, with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

edit: welp, the second siege wasn't so good. 50 goblins have destroyed my fortress -_-

[Julien Brightside]

with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

Was the crossbow by any chances a modified cannon?

[Atomisk]

Thinking 'Daggerways" was a cool fort name, reading the note after embark and facepalming as i read; "Uristdeg" is my fort's name.

They were all slaughtered by crocodiles on embark btw.

[Sda209]

When I was preparing for embark to a fort, I accidentally pressed 'e,' the game began loading the embark, and I thought it froze for a moment. Then, the introduction to the embark screen showed up.

I also did this for another two consecutive times, on the same embark.

[sculleywr]

with their legendary swordsman taking a copper bolt straight through his eyeball, consequently snapping his spine and removing his head to its new position pinned to the wall of my fort. Coming from a novice marksman, I can hardly believe it. I'm forging nine more copper crossbows for my soldiers to carry into battle.

Was the crossbow by any chances a modified cannon?

I been playing vanilla (well, lazy been pack vanilla). No it wasn't. It was a lucky shot and I was not expecting it. However, they brought archers the second time and turned my team into pincushions

[Andronicus]

Playing a small pocket world. It's pretty much a world of goblins and undead; there's 55 dwarves hiding out in a camp. So I raise a fortress. The last best hope for Dorf-kind. Fill a long tunnel leading into the Fortress proper with cage and weapon traps. Goblin siege arrives. Half of their squad gets caged and the other half gets slightly cut up and then they charge into the fortress and the slaughter begins.

I forget to put up a door.

[Torrenal]

Had a siege in early summer of year 1.  6 undead.  6 UNARMED Undead.  A bit much for my 7 unarmed, unarmored dwarves (well, they have axes and picks, but those sever bits....).

They don't charge my traps.

I spend a full year preparing gear.
The siege ends but the undead remain.
I spend another month training.
I then tell my army to gear up and after a few moment go to save....

A vile force of darkness has arrived!

Um ok, my 7 man force will need to delay the attack on the undead, to deal with....

Elves?  10 elves.  Armed.  This could be interesting.

The elves spy the outnumbered walking undead and opt for some easy practice.

And as expected, the elvish siege was broken by the smaller undead force, who did so with only 2 serious wounds.

Something tells me that these elves were not wanted by their elvish leaders.  I have to agree.

So... "Ok troops, it's time to take out those undead.  Lets show the elves we know the sharp end of a hammer!"

The dead walk.  Hide while you still can!

Eh.  Lets see if these guys rush the traps.  Mean time, what did I do with that yak and horse corpse?

//Torrenal
I'd say the sieges in 40.05 might be a tad more of a problem than in 40.01

[enriquefynn]

That's a creepy one:
The dwarf Sakzul Olinossek was obsessed with drums, she was a soldier, an accomplished axedwarf. She also dreamed about doing a masterwork someday...

They all knew there was a forgotten beast below the fortress, no one really cared about that. Meanwhile Sakzul was advancing in his career, as being a very ambitious dwarf, she managed to get elected major, and promptly banned the exports of his favorite instrument, the drums.

She never gave up about the banning, for one year, the ban was holding, no drums were being exported y the fortress. Why? Why the drums? She never even expressed her secret desire for that instrument, she just liked it, deep inside.

One day the Beast broke into the fortress, she destroyed 5 dwarfs and one baby child before the military could even react, it was a intense battle.

The baby was  Sakzul's. She became depressed as her recent born toddler was ripped apart from her, she begun to seek the child, her colleagues buried the baby before she could see what the beast did.

Soon Sakzul gave up seeking but retired, she was to depressed to be a major... One day Sakzul tough something terrible, she just laugh, loud.

Sakzul rushed to the butchery shop, she has never done that before, she was nervous, but was working as quick as she could. Then she finished... She has made it! Storlutmomuz Beriminrus , "Dimplecrypt, the Artificial Posn".

[PDF urist master]

at least her dream was realized.

[Repseki]

While doing some fancy construction in the caverns to punch a staircase through the underground lake there was a cave in that splattered my newly appointed Baroness and knocked my masterpiece armor wearing artifact weapon/shield holding Champion into the water to drown...

The next few months were then spent retrieving their bodies and belongings, before finishing up the staircase.

Of course almost immediately after getting things finished there is another cave in that breaks the arms and legs of my two legendary Miner/Engravers, because of course.

[Untelligent]

A sparring dwarf charged THROUGH THE WALL. Both dwarves fell into the river canyon.

[TinFoilTopHat]

I'm new to dorf fortress and I constantly check the wiki, but sometimes i'll get lost in never-ending trails of clicking on wiki links.
The latest time I did this, i forgot to pause and my fortress which had no defenses was attacked by a cave crocodile.
There were no survivors.