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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213335 times)

ColdOneK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8340 on: February 18, 2014, 06:56:43 pm »

I think items are assigned according to order of creation, not order in the uniform. So, you might be able to get a soldier to put on two socks and two boots, but only if those four things were made in the right order.

Usually I assign a 'replace clothing' uniform that includes clothing items. The following uniform results in an appropriate number of gauntlets and boots on each dwarf:

Steel mail shirt
Leather cloak
Leather armour
Steel helm
Leather hood
Leather leggings
Steel gauntlet
Steel high boot
Specific shield
Specific crossbow

Material probably not relevant, but included anyway.
Mail shirt + breastplate is better protection then mail shirt + leath armor - but you're probably going for less weight for w/e reason - marksdwarves are most effective behind fortifications in heavy armor imo, not running around rambo style
Material is relevant - leather is better protection then cloth, and I read somewhere that the dwarves change equip based on item's cost - cloth is usually worth more - I think...
Shield material doesn't change protection, only blunt damg in melee. Quality affect hit chance to a point - same with melee weaps
I personally melt all items below exceptional quality out of arrogance and elitist sentimentality..., so I never have to choose specific items, unless I want Urist McHERO to use artifact "the goblins be bursting" candy Battle Axe
With crossbows, the material only changes blunt damg, the quality affect accuracy. - Bismuth Bronze is best non artifact crossbow material for blunt damg btw
I make 2 sets of "Melee Regalia" uniforms
"Melee Regalia Iron"
"Melee Regalia Steel"
This allows me to send off champions to head other squads, and quickly assign uniform materials to the worthy. Becomes less important as I produce more steel kits though.

Also I have 20/20 steel high boots equipped
20/22 Steel Guantlets equiped - 2 designated for melting, because they did not meet my elitist standards of exceptional +
adding 2 worked for me - but you can chat all you'd like w/out trying it for yourself if that makes ya feel better - won't change it's effectiveness in my forts
« Last Edit: February 18, 2014, 06:59:37 pm by ColdOneK »
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Erils

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8341 on: February 18, 2014, 07:00:51 pm »

My dwarf expedition leader was hospitalized after a fight. One of my militia captains tried to "attend a meeting" with him even though he was asleep in the hospital bed. The meeting obviously didn't happen and so my militia captain threw a tantrum and murdered my expedition leader while he slept. The militia captain hasn't faced justice and I don't have a hammerer.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8342 on: February 18, 2014, 10:17:56 pm »

Mail shirt + breastplate is better protection then mail shirt + leath armor - but you're probably going for less weight for w/e reason - marksdwarves are most effective behind fortifications in heavy armor imo, not running around rambo style
They are essentially civvies. But since they're armed with ranged weapons, they stand and fight instead of running away, so in case of unexpected attack they have some extra metal compared to the rest of the civilians. Metal greaves or leggings would slow them down a bit, especially if I switched to metal bolts.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

ColdOneK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8343 on: February 19, 2014, 08:51:16 am »

I figured it was gear you'd used for your marskdwarves lol

Personally, when I get far along into a fort , I'll draft my favorite beards and give them battle axes+shields
I want them to default to running - in case the enemy is ranged
but if the enemy is melee and they get caught, I want them to be more durable + possibly lethal in response

Other then that, the only "civy" profession that will stand and fight w/out being in an activated military, have hunting enabled
I always disable that when I start getting ambushes + sieges...until I can open caverns at least
because hunting is far better training then targets.
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~likes grizzlies for the epicness - dwarves for their melee - prefers to drink bourbon and coke when possible - needs alcohol to get through the working day - a fat stubby creature prone to arrogance and bouts of insanity~

Aristion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8344 on: February 19, 2014, 06:58:08 pm »

Generated a new world. By year 200, the world fell apart. The current age is "The Age of the Elf". Currently 500+ years of the elven rule....
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I kept imagining this guy go "By Armok, not the dead roaches! Oh gods the hamsters oh the dwarfmanity!"
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PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8345 on: February 19, 2014, 08:20:51 pm »

A recent goblin squad got stuck next to a marksdwarf turret.

I sent a kill order for my dwarves but they started attacking a bunch of coati men 55 tiles away from the goblins. the bolts literally could not reach them and stopped short. While the range is impressive, they're not killing my primary threat.
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Wolf1026

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8346 on: February 19, 2014, 10:37:37 pm »

When a bull managed to kill a Minotaur after about 10 minutes with no assistance, while everyone was in civilian alerts waiting for the Minotaur to fall to the cage traps.
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ColdOneK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8347 on: February 19, 2014, 11:30:45 pm »

A recent goblin squad got stuck next to a marksdwarf turret.

I sent a kill order for my dwarves but they started attacking a bunch of coati men 55 tiles away from the goblins. the bolts literally could not reach them and stopped short. While the range is impressive, they're not killing my primary threat.

*whispers* hey...they probably can't aim at them - if the goblins are too close to the turret
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~likes grizzlies for the epicness - dwarves for their melee - prefers to drink bourbon and coke when possible - needs alcohol to get through the working day - a fat stubby creature prone to arrogance and bouts of insanity~

PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8348 on: February 19, 2014, 11:44:32 pm »

when I had them stationed on the turret, they could aim just fine, one of them even headshotted a goblin.
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Tarzanello

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8349 on: February 20, 2014, 04:07:22 am »

When a bull managed to kill a Minotaur after about 10 minutes with no assistance, while everyone was in civilian alerts waiting for the Minotaur to fall to the cage traps.

Maybe the Minotaur couldn't bring himself to strike his dad back...
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ColdOneK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8350 on: February 20, 2014, 12:56:28 pm »

when I had them stationed on the turret, they could aim just fine, one of them even headshotted a goblin.

What I meant was ranged stationed a level above the ground have a minimum range from the tower that they can't hit goblins.
I don't excessively use marksdwarves, but I believe it's 5ish tiles per level.
so a tower one zlevel from the ground with marksdwarves wouldn't be able to hit goblins standing 5ish tiles or less from the wall

I know there's something like that for ballistae at least.
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~likes grizzlies for the epicness - dwarves for their melee - prefers to drink bourbon and coke when possible - needs alcohol to get through the working day - a fat stubby creature prone to arrogance and bouts of insanity~

WanderingKid

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8351 on: February 20, 2014, 10:44:33 pm »

I know there's something like that for ballistae at least.
Marksdwarves can shoot practically straight down through fortifications.  It's roughly 1:1 up to out as a safe zone.

ColdOneK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8352 on: February 21, 2014, 03:14:20 am »

my mistake  :P
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~likes grizzlies for the epicness - dwarves for their melee - prefers to drink bourbon and coke when possible - needs alcohol to get through the working day - a fat stubby creature prone to arrogance and bouts of insanity~

Borge

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8353 on: February 23, 2014, 09:13:58 am »

I was channeling out 2 z-levels above my legendary dining hall to make it a true legendary dining hall with an engraved conical roof. Instead of channelling one row at a time like a smart mayor would, i just did the entire third Z-level at once. My miner dwarves being the mindless peons they are, took out all the supporting tiles first, causing a massive multi-layer cave-in right on top of my main dining hall, crushing at least 20 men women and children all at once under multiple layers of solid stone, and hospitalising many others with grievous injuries .

 I was bordering on a tantrum spiral but i somehow managed to survive. A sad and humiliating day in the history of my fortress. But at least i have a nice engraved roof for my dining hall.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2014, 09:16:37 am by Borge »
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8354 on: February 23, 2014, 10:23:48 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Why isn't this reaction working? It doesn't take any reagents. Oh well, I'll just run it anyway when a mood hits, and keep buying in enough smoky quartzes to keep up with what I should be using."

25 in-game years later, I finally figure it out. All for an A:...
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.
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