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[Whackjob]

I embark on a site.  Lots of wood, flux stone, shallow metal, deep metal.

I start to dig.  One layer of dirt then... obsidian?!  Three layers worth!  And under that, chalk and iron ore!   Better than a gold mine!  I start cranking out obsidian swords and start stuffing weapons traps with them everywhere I can reach.  I begin smelting the ores and setting up quantum stockpiles to make everything even more efficient.

Game crashes.  I go back, play from last save, crash.  I scootch up the save to later and later in time, and track down the problem.  A dwarf, carrying a loaded minecart, drops it on a cart stop that dumps the ore.  Game crashed every time he put the minecart down.  I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.

I will never again find such a nice site. 

[Lolfail0009]

I embark on a site.  Lots of wood, flux stone, shallow metal, deep metal.

I start to dig.  One layer of dirt then... obsidian?!  Three layers worth!  And under that, chalk and iron ore!   Better than a gold mine!  I start cranking out obsidian swords and start stuffing weapons traps with them everywhere I can reach.  I begin smelting the ores and setting up quantum stockpiles to make everything even more efficient.

Game crashes.  I go back, play from last save, crash.  I scootch up the save to later and later in time, and track down the problem.  A dwarf, carrying a loaded minecart, drops it on a cart stop that dumps the ore.  Game crashed every time he put the minecart down.  I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.

I will never again find such a nice site. 

Do you have the parameters and embark location for the site? Sounds like it'd be fun to go bughunting.

[Sutremaine]

I tried everything I could think of, but the save was ruined.

I've found civilian alerts for tiny, out of the way burrows to be effective at interrupting stubborn jobs (Overseer cancels Mass Dump Order: Wrong dump zone). Was that something you tried?

[Cerol Lenslens]

Disregard, wrong thread.

[PDF urist master]

a migrant wave showed and as usual, i checked the stat of every single one of them. there was one with fairly good overall attributes (agile, mighty, slow to tire).

when I drafted him, I realized his left arm was missing.

[Sutremaine]

Oh, that's alright. The only difference between a one-armed dwarf and a two-armed dwarf is that the one-armed dwarf can't afford to lose an arm.

[Lolfail0009]

I just made the dwarf with grudges against a good quarter of my fort my CMD...

[Tarzanello]

A Roc arrived. I was pretty happy as I had a Great Animal Trainer and lots of cage traps laying around just in case. But one lonely hunter was too slow and didn't reach the "safe zone" underground. The Roc caught up with her, took her baby and ripped it to shreds. The lonely and unassuming hunter replied by shooting a bolt in the beast's poor wing. Mr (or mrs., didn't check) Roc came down crashing, the poor thing: he was just hungry for the blood of innocent souls. Needless to say at that point I decided that I might as well bash his skull as he laid down unconscious so to give my greatly untrained militia some practice. He was not entirely wasted I suppose.

[smjjames]

I just made the dwarf with grudges against a good quarter of my fort my CMD...

In the next version, the dwarf could even be the sadistic type.

[TalonisWolf]

Managed to cause a cave-in digging upwards ramps... and I have yet to figure out HOW. 

[reality.auditor]

Managed to cause a cave-in digging upwards ramps... and I have yet to figure out HOW. 

One possible scenario: you were just under surface and digged up right under surface tree.

[MerkerBenson]

So, I kept trying to train a captured wombat, and had the cage moved to a stockpile after a few seasons of wasted time on that. Then I got a message: the dwarfs of the Crafts of Planes now know a few things about wombat training
My animal trainer had somehow exchanged places with the wombat

Also, as a completely non-related fact, my competent macedwarf militia captain got randomly attached to a steel battleaxe I didn't even know I had lying around

PPS: Ironically, I just discovered when looking at a dormitory I have a dwarf with a position "Mayor Vampire"...interesting, how could I have missed that lol

Also, for some reason my macedwarf prefers an axe, my marksdwarf prefers a bronze sword and now they only use that. What's up with that?!

[ColdOneK]

With military I always designate the specific weapon to be use in the uniform

m-e to assign uniforms then go to each indiv dwarf and tell them witch weap instead of indiv choice

If you don't have enough weaps when they start training, then get them to train w/out weaps -or they'll choose whatever you have lying around - like the daggers from thieves

--


My face palm moment was when this friggin minotaur shows up - kills everything in 1-2 hit goring or ripping them in half

At this time, I notice my main floor layer, is the layer below the one I removed all the ramps, so it was completely open

So I'm freaking out but he takes my designated entrance to get inside, runs into a human caravan that was coming inside, and gets 1 shot with a silver bolt

to be fair, I had the trader bugs - where traders show up with migrants - and this dude was ripping limbs off as he scratched them

my wtf moment was when I got an AMBUSH notification when a full squad of goblin crossbowmen liesurely had walked all the way through my outer ring of drawbridges
they'd run into a cage trap and stayed there, so I burrowed everyone to ignore them until I came up with the "Front Runner" plan
witch was to draft a peasant from a migrant wave into the military and give him every single war dog I had trained until that point
have him run forward and then send in my military
Thanks to about 20 something war dogs and the peasant that could - !!FUN!! was avoided

Now to my latest one --
Due to bad habit, I always push back making my well - drinking area until its needed - at witch point I just dig to the caves

Well I had flat out derped and tunneled multiple levels witch inevitably caused a cave-in
1 legendary miner/broker with a broken 5 right toe
1 up and coming miner with broken ribs
the rest got bruises - thank god - they only fell 1 z-lvl, imagine if it had been idk 2
so anyway, I start to dig to the cave level since the local brook is frozen solid, and it's late autum
I finally reach it - "You have discovered an expansive cavern"
This fcking cavern is 64 z-lvls deep
so I look at both injured miners relationships and thoughts
the up-an coming miner had a friggin miscarriage
and my legendary miner/broker wouldn't get out of bed because of his broken 5th right toe

[Tarzanello]

This happened my last fortress, but came right to me as Minotaur number four showed up in my current fort (seems like I'm the friggin Minotaur whisperer, I get an average of one every two years ingame, is that common?). This particular Minotaur, I think he was called Tenebrous Yell or something (makes me thing of Hellscream) had an early encounter with a hunter, who riddled him with bolts, and was pretty much done for. So I think, "what a chance to get an awesome kill for my snazzy new champ, which is a Legendary Fighter and Grand Master Axedwarf". So I get this guy drafted in a single man squad and send him to finish the brute. Well, what do you know, the friggin Minotaur SCRATCHED him on the right hand "and the severed part sailed away". I just imagined this dying Minotaur focusing really hard, drawing upon his inner cosmos and karate chopping the living f**k out of this poor fellow's hand.
Well, in the end my champ won, and he lived on to be quite the badass. But I like to think his mates still mocked him about that fight.

[ColdOneK]

I just had another wtf moment
I embarked on the beach and in the winter.... the FCKING OCEAN FREEZES
not believing the OCEAN would freeze, I had not set up my defense to protect from OCEAN based attacks

a trade caravan shows up to cross the frozen OCEAN...then a migrant wave... then a 2 squad goblinite ambush that slaughtered everything
I didn't even care... I knew it was coming -
I'd dug down to the lava layer, and the only metal I'd found was gold, tetrahedrite, galena, and sphalerite
I'd need to import metal to make armor of decent quality out of something other than copper

I just wanted to make sure I got sand ffs

Quote from Tarzanello
({This happened my last fortress, but came right to me as Minotaur number four showed up in my current fort (seems like I'm the friggin Minotaur whisperer, I get an average of one every two years ingame, is that common?). This particular Minotaur, I think he was called Tenebrous Yell or something (makes me thing of Hellscream) had an early encounter with a hunter, who riddled him with bolts, and was pretty much done for. So I think, "what a chance to get an awesome kill for my snazzy new champ, which is a Legendary Fighter and Grand Master Axedwarf". So I get this guy drafted in a single man squad and send him to finish the brute. Well, what do you know, the friggin Minotaur SCRATCHED him on the right hand "and the severed part sailed away". I just imagined this dying Minotaur focusing really hard, drawing upon his inner cosmos and karate chopping the living f**k out of this poor fellow's hand.
Well, in the end my champ won, and he lived on to be quite the badass. But I like to think his mates still mocked him about that fight.})

yeah I used to usually get minotaurs until my most recent playthrough that gave me ettins that a flat out terrifying
when they're fighting your guys, not when you'd closed up because of the tower siege
and the zombies tear it apart with sheer numbers

Still that's kinda crazy badass when you think about it...
a 4ft tall dwarf runs out warcrying BLOOD FOR ARMOK!! against what must be a 12ft tall minotaur, and only loses a hand

come to think of it
- dwarf fortress should introduce a prosthetics system.... dwarf lost hand - gains claw attatchment
dwarf loses leg - gains sword attatchment - dwarf has puntured lung - gets wooden artificial breathalizer
dwarf loses other leg - gets wheel chair attachment

thought of another facepalm moment - I had a migrant arrive with rank 6 in crutch walker and no other skills
he had both legs - no injuries - no scars
it's like wtf where you doing in your previous fort??