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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2212328 times)

Knick

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8040 on: October 06, 2013, 08:36:04 pm »

My cistern was running a bit low. I pulled the floodgate lever to refill it.  Then I got distracted by building hall on the surface.  Then I started watching Game of Thrones.

Now there is water welling up from, the, uh, well.  And pouring down the stairs in the fortress.  Naturally, the lever to close the floodgate is flooded.
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Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day.  Light a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
The great Dwarfen Philosopher Urist McConfused said it best:  "Light a kitten on fire and it will run screaming into the booze stockpile and catch the whole fort up.  I know, we tested it in twelve different forts and it always happened."

Proudnerd

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8041 on: October 07, 2013, 02:14:13 pm »

Just now made a fort in a haunted area had no experience of Thralls, only reading on the wiki. A cloud came thralled a turkey and it started killing cats and wrestling a carpenter i sent ten dwarves at it no one had any weapons as i had been focusing on getting the fort up and running and had just got he first migrant wave. it broke a bunch of a recruit's fingers two were in extreme pain and i abandoned.

started a new fort literary ten mins ago an alligator was very close to the wagon it tore a farmer's guts out before I even knew what was going on and so I drafted three random dwarves and sent them after it. It bit another soldier in the head killing him and another recruit somehow drowned. I realized that everyone else was very unhappy due to the death and my carpenter had a torn leg and was faint. The alligator has a title and has no wounds whatsoever.

I'm still going to continue on with my four dwarves! Just began digging with my unskilled dwarf since my miner died. Ive never been so thoroughly screwed so early before.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2013, 02:17:51 pm by Proudnerd »
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Cuddles

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8042 on: October 07, 2013, 04:38:00 pm »

I accidentally left my game unpaused for a little while in a volcano embark.
came back, all the water was evaporated, all the alcohol dried up
all my starting 7 plus 7 of the first immigrant wave of 6 died. fort only survived because an immigrant wave came at the exact right moment.

yay i guess?
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ElusiveVolvox

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8043 on: October 09, 2013, 01:58:12 am »

Not a fatal mistake, but still a facepalm of sorts.

Anyhow, I haven't played DF for a very long time, and even at those times I played it sparingly, but my current fort was going relatively well despite this handicap. They hadn't died of thirst, been killed by zombies, or eaten each other's ears yet, so I was doing very well. However, I started to get a little ahead of myself. I was making loads and loads of masterwork goods, everything from bolts to roasts. And, of course, this meant that a goblin siege would be inevitable.

It took some time, but it came. Before that pivotal event, I had managed to double my military from five marksdwarves to ten, and had procured one master marksdwarf. My resolve was reinforced by the fact that the goblins had neglected to bring archers of their own, although I do admit that the giant lizard their leader was riding looked frightening. I immediately raised the alarm (or as I called it, "Code Kimberlite") and my dwarves came rushing in. So far, the only problem I experienced was the fact that my soldiers were unwilling to raise the drawbridge, but some quick fiddling with the burrow allowed a metalworker to fulfill that crucial role.

With the fort sealed, I parked my squad behind the fortifications, eagerly awaiting the coming slaughter. At last, the enemy came rushing up the hill, and my marksdwarves let loose a tremendous volley. These shots were either blocked, dodged, or missed entirely, but I had plenty of ammunition and an overabundance of confidence. However, I felt myself falter a little when I noticed that the goblins were continuing up the hill, past my main entrance. I had never dug any other entrances to the main fort, so what could they be doing? Were one of my dwarves still trapped outside?

And then I noticed.

It turns out that in my infinite wisdom, I never gave a thought to the more undesirable properties of windows. In particular, their smashability. Now, as it happened, I had installed a two tile long window in my bookkeeper's penthouse, because I decided his personal art gallery needed some light. Just as it began to dawn on me, the goblins had proceeded to smash down that very window. I panicked, but thankfully my momentary indecisiveness did not plague my fort as I had it paused. I ordered my squad to the hallway below the penthouse, and hoped against hope that they could pull something off.

And what'd you know, they did! Their leader, still atop his reptilian mount, was the first to fall, and one after another his cohorts were turned into glorified pincushions. Only a few of my dwarves suffered any injuries, but nothing that has proved fatal. I can only guess that the single stairwell that led to the penthouse had funneled the goblins into a neat little line, presenting the perfect targets for my men dwarves.

So, I made a mistake but managed to fix it (kind of) and managed to learn something important too. Today was a good-ish day.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2013, 02:03:38 am by ElusiveVolvox »
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the1337doofus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8044 on: October 09, 2013, 09:47:44 am »

> Carved out a pretty nice fortress, going well, it's the second year
> Decide my metal industry needs more gold bearing rock
> Order a large area dug out
> Miner starts carving out a nice little picture in the rock on his own
> That picture leads him to a strange rock
> Metalwraith
> Time for Fun! Yaaaay!
> It gets caught in a cage trap trying to kill the boulder crab I stationed outside to catch kobolds/gobbos/warlocks.
> Out of my 48 dwarves, exactly 5 of them survive.
> Le abandon
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jcochran

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8045 on: October 09, 2013, 05:26:20 pm »

Well, just learned that flying creatures can diagonally path through Z levels. Thankfully, the lesson only resulted in 2 deaths.
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Cuddles

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8046 on: October 12, 2013, 02:06:59 pm »

One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 02:12:46 pm by Cuddles »
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wer6

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8047 on: October 13, 2013, 05:52:38 pm »

One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...

Have you got clay? if so use that to finish it up.
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smjjames

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8048 on: October 13, 2013, 05:54:09 pm »

One of my carpenters just decided to sleep in a stairwell.

The stairwell is at 1/7 water and only being kept there by the pump operator as I'm attempting to wall off an aquifer.
My dwarves are pretty fucking stupid.

also I feel really fucking dumb waiting for trees to grow in the absolutely tiny part of my map that contains trees. I just need two more logs...

Have you got clay? if so use that to finish it up.

He would still need fuel...
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wer6

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8049 on: October 13, 2013, 05:55:39 pm »

Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.
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smjjames

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8050 on: October 13, 2013, 05:59:39 pm »

Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.

All non-magma furnaces require fuel...

Maybe carve off the top of the hill (sounds like you're in mountains, or maybe badlands), then make some blocks out of the rocks from that.
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Drazinononda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8051 on: October 14, 2013, 12:19:31 am »

Clay requires fuel now? huh, so its been that long since I last used it.

All non-magma furnaces require fuel...

Maybe carve off the top of the hill (sounds like you're in mountains, or maybe badlands), then make some blocks out of the rocks from that.

... Why not use raw clay boulders? It'll take longer but it will still work.
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Erils

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8052 on: October 17, 2013, 02:45:50 am »

My most recent faceplam moment,

Probably realizing I just sent a mining group of competent and skilled miners, masons and engravers to a site with lots of soil and an aquifier.
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Larix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8053 on: October 18, 2013, 03:11:12 pm »

I have a fort whose primary export is cloth. Just cloth. Rope reeds are the only crop they plant, and it's all for export. Clothing for the population must be made from yarn/silk cloth and leather that was bought or brought in by the hunter-butcher-tanner chain. Oh, and they're not allowed to strike the earth. Predictably, even with no migration past the first year, there was no way to keep everybody clothed normally.

So i drafted all available adults to the military and gave them "replace clothing" armours covering everything. But the children still kept running around in rags, in spite of many sparkling new *leather mittens* and the like in the workshops.

Turns out military with 'replace clothing' armour will still _claim_ ordinary clothes for the uncovered slots, they just won't ever put them on. I think the ownership times out normally, but they keep reclaiming fresh socks and hoods; fortunately, whenever a claim times out, children, woodcutters and hunters get a chance to lay claim before the soldiers re-new their requisitions.
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