Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[UnlawfullyDeranged]

Brought hematite, marble, and coal. Built a craftdwarf's shop and queued nest boxes. Forgot to disallow marble in stone menu. I now have several -marble nest boxes-.

[jcochran]

Can't say this is my facepalm, but it's worthy of a facepalm..

Just had the dwarven caravan arrive and the liaison did his usual meeting with the mayor. While that meeting was going on a dragon arrived on scene.

Well, the meeting finally came to a close and the liaison proceeded to exit the embark.
Right in front of the dragon.
A second later, there's a whoosh of flame, some smoke, and no more liaison.
 

[mek42]

My embark has an aquifer in a not horribly inconvenient location.  So I channeled into the aquifer to make a well.   This is when I learned that mud on the bottom of one Z of water makes a well unusable, no biggie, first time I tried this.

This led me to some heroic digging efforts to ramp up to that nonfunctional well.  Ultimately catching a miner outside the gates during a siege, costing me half my military to rescue her.  First facepalm, the miner is master miner and was kicking more butt than my military.  Second facepalm, this morning I realized I could have treated the aquifer like  a stream and just dug  a well space like I usually do with a different well.

[oldark]

A beseiging force of tigermen has arrived.  Both bridges in our entryway are raised (they form an airlock for caravans) as a precaution while our military consisting of 2 steel equipped veterans and 20 peasants wielding stone mauls and leather armor form up at the airlock.  The moment is deemed right and I move our forces in between the two bridges and close the inner one as a safety measure. I order the outer bridge dropped, ready to watch my veterans tear through the tigerman squad and see how many of the peasants earn their place.  A loud *crunch* is heard as I discover that the outer bridge drops in the opposite direction from what I expected and 22 dwarves are atomizied.

[smjjames]

I was using fastdwarf to speed up siege cleanup and when I had thought they were finished dumping stuff, I closed the atom smasher.

Suddendly
UristMcFarner has been crushed by a drawbridge!
UristMcHauler has been crushed by a drawbridge!
UristMcHauler has been crushed by a drawbridge!

XD oops.......

I had an initial thought of savescumming, but nah, not like I lost near-irreplaceable dwarves., and this is DF. Also turned fastdwarf back off since I had done what I wanted anyway.

[Silverlock]

A beseiging force of tigermen has arrived.  Both bridges in our entryway are raised (they form an airlock for caravans) as a precaution while our military consisting of 2 steel equipped veterans and 20 peasants wielding stone mauls and leather armor form up at the airlock.  The moment is deemed right and I move our forces in between the two bridges and close the inner one as a safety measure. I order the outer bridge dropped, ready to watch my veterans tear through the tigerman squad and see how many of the peasants earn their place.  A loud *crunch* is heard as I discover that the outer bridge drops in the opposite direction from what I expected and 22 dwarves are atomizied.

Ahhhhahahahahaha!  That is excellent!

[zlob]

Embarked in evil biome, dug into the hill, built a bridge and raised it. "Finally safe" I thought. I had my yaks butchered so that they couldn't haunt me after they get killed. I got more food after all! Wait, is that hair moving? OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT!

[mirrizin]

So, I had a pretty solid fortress with a very strong militia, multiple legendary warriors, stout and strong. Very few casualties over the years, mostly due to civilians being reckless in the caverns. I'd already killed three or four forgotten beasts, so when I was informed that there was a three eyed, trunked, essence-breathing periwinkle crab in cavern 2, I didn't worry overmuch. I sent my army to the usual ambush spot and watched its movements.

Being a crab, it found a nearby pond and stayed there.

I didn't want to let my troops starve, and didn't want to send them after it, so I sent them back to training and figured I'd check on Mr Elephant Crab every now and then.

And once I checked, and it was already in cavern 1 (they're linked by a tunnel) and barreling for the stairs to the surface.*

I didn't have time, I thought, to check if anyone else was below, and so I sent my troops to the ambush site, checked again, and the crab was already past it! Quickly sent them to the outer court and watched, and there it came, immediately blasting dust everywhere.

Now, it seemed that this crab wasn't heavy enough to deal with the recoil, so with every breath it slammed itself into nearby walls and floors, and likewise the first responders, who were of course the finest fighting dwarves of Worksack. Still, nobody seemed to be getting seriously hurt until the blasted thing finally slammed its head into the ground and died abruptly.

I sighed a sigh of relief, and waited for the dwarves to get up. They didn't. Oh, they must be injured, but what is that blue thingie flashing. What's this? Paralyzed? Suffocating! Ahhhh!

There went a third of my army, including our great spearmaster commander, dead to a badly engineered or suicidal periwinkle crab.

I just hope whatever-it-is doesn't spread, but so far it doesn't seem to be. The army is replaced, but I am not so confident anymore in its ability to fend off the green menace.

* My fortress has an inner and outer court, and the stairwell comes out onto the outer court. 

[thoushaltcallmelars]

I abandoned multiple fortresses not realizating that depot access isn't properly shown until the depot is completed.

EDIT: Moved the pseudo-cancellation redtext to signature, because I realized it'd make a great signature. For me, anyways.

[lazygun]

Early autumn, first year, I realize I'm not going to have time to dig out a completely wagon-accessible path to my depot. So I hastily construct a second depot on the surface, next to the entrance. Well, the dwarven caravan arrives, and I drag out my bone crafts etc. to the the outside depot. Then I notice that the pack animals unloaded in the interior depot, one wagon unloaded on the outside depot, and the other wagon stalled half-on and half-off the outside depot. And if I try to trade, the merchants say they haven't finished unloading yet. It looks like this year's first caravan supply is a failure.  *face-palm*.

I just hope I have enough food to make it to the spring and the elvish caravan.

I wonder... does this mean I don't get migrants this year? I suppose I'll find out.

[Rose]

Just deconstruct both depots, while putting everything that was in them into storage for safekeeping.

Everything.

[Urist MacNoob]

The merchants themselves will suffice for next year's trading season. They have insulted you with their 'unloading' shenanigans. Why, back in my day, we fired traders that we didn't agree with out of magma cannons and nobody retaliated because their merchants were just filthy peasants. Now they have these newfangled 'bills of rights' and whatnot. Disgusting. They'll be giving rights to the goats next, I tell you!

[PetWolverine]

The farmer/brewer from my original seven had a cut on his hand that would not heal. I chalked it up to his "slow to heal" attribute and trained up a couple new farmers and brewers - two of each, to have a backup, since I wasn't short on dwarves.

Years passed. Then I had a marksdwarf with a broken shoulder. She was also bedridden for an unreasonably long time. My chief medical dwarf was assigned and had diagnosing turned on; indeed, he'd been spending almost all of his time diagnosing the marksdwarf. Again and again and again. He was a professional diagnostician from all this diagnosing. She was still injured and not healing.

I figured, on the bright side, soon I'd have a legendary diagnostician.

Then I took a look at the farmer again. The cut had been diagnosed; it was infected, and needed to be sutured and dressed.

*facepalm*

So I enabled suturing, wound dressing, and for good measure, setting bones on my chief medical dwarf (I already had a surgeon from an immigrant wave). Sure enough, before I knew it, Urist McFarmerBrewer was back up, planting crops and brewing beer. Of course by this time his replacements were legendary growers and he was merely great. No matter, it was good to have him back.

Also before I knew it, the marksdwarf was back up and running around.

*facepalm*

I could have had a legendary diagnostician.

[smjjames]

I just accidentially pitted my semi-tame pet dragon into the live-fire training range and promptly burnt up almost all of my marksdwarf squad, the only one who didn't get vaporized was sleeping or otherwise not at the training range when the dragon breathed fire on the goblins and trolls that were also pitted.

It's training is at well-trained, so..... I'm not sure whether to butcher it or what. I don't have any ideas or plans in mind for the dragon right now and I'm not sure I'm ready to completely tame the beast.

Edit: eh, I decided to butcher it I guess.

[WanderingKid]

Ivy Lashes recording has taken a series of stupids, all of them avoidable, all of them self-inflicted.  The fort itself is fine.  I just am apparently a horrible recorder.

In no particular order:
Recorded the wrong screen with FRAPS.
Ended up with a vocal / image disconnect due to overloading the CPU and it screwing up the vocal record.
Left the microphone off.
Forgot to turn ON Fraps...

*Facepalm*  Gonna get it one of these days.