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[Mr Space Cat]

A useless hauler got a fey craftsdwarf mood...and claimed the candy refining workshop in the metalworking facility...located down 60 or so flights of stairs. Despite there being two other craftsdwarf shops on the surface and much closer to the hauler when he got the mood. Useless peasants.

[Lolfail0009]

A useless hauler got a fey craftsdwarf mood...and claimed the candy refining workshop in the metalworking facility...located down 60 or so flights of stairs. Despite there being two other craftsdwarf shops on the surface and much closer to the hauler when he got the mood. Useless peasants.

Useless dwarves put the "ded" in "dedication", I guess.

[PkGamer]

Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.

[weenog]

Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.

Technically, you only asked for the cage to be brought to the depot. Not the minotaur.

[Bastus]

I was dumping stone out of one of my huge channels I build to form an artificial underground river. Suddenly I got a few badly hurt dwarfes and one fisherdwarf got killed. Then it struck me I placed the garbage zone next to the channel so my dwarfes climbed up the ramp and throwed the stone down into the channel again. I could slap myself for such idiocy. 

[MattStriker]

FB shows up in the caverns, I recall everybody into the cavern fort (fortification-lined sniper positions around a trap corridor with a drawbridge 'airlock'. I'm kinda proud of that one ) and let the marksdwarves do their thing.

FB goes down, bleeding and unconscious, and I figure I might as well get the melee guys some practice as well. So I open the trap corridor, give the order...

...Giant Cave Spider out of nowhere. Webs 3 of my dwarves.

While they're in the trap corridor.

I now have two legless dwarves in the hospital and one freshly-engraved slab in the memorial hall.

On the plus side of things, the spider ended up in a cage trap (missing three legs by that point, but it won't need those ever again) and is currently in the process of being installed as the centerpiece of my new clothing sweatshop.

Also, the FB managed to die without any further input from my dwarves.

[nordak]

Well I had this great fortress.It was like my second fortress and I was still a newby.These dwarf traders arrive and I'm like ok so here are my stone crafts and OH LOOK.I captured a minatoaur and its in a wooden cage.I bet its save to transport it to the traders and sell it to them.I set it to be transported and once I go out of the trade menu I get annoucements saying that dwarfes are getting killed.I go like WTF?I go to the floor and what do I see there?Dead bodys miasma and this minatoaur knocking out dwarfes,dwarfe children and dwarfe babys.I didnt have a millitary then just some traps.And I had to abandon the fortress since about 3/4 of my dwarfes where goners, the rest was outside.And inside there was a minatoaur running around in pools of blood.

Technically, you only asked for the cage to be brought to the depot. Not the minotaur.

I'd actually call that a bug but yea, we'll just release this killing machine into the general population and hual this amazing worthless cage to the depot, oh shit its loose, and hes beating me to death with my own sock.

[Solon64]

My facepalm moment?

I turned masterworks "autosave" feature off instead of leaving it at seasonal like it ought to be, particularly with the newest version of masterwork using the newest version of dfhack with all its new, buggy-ish features.

*cue game crash followed by super-sonic impaction of my face through the back of my skull via palm slap*

[lue]

I had recently come back to DF after leaving it alone for a while, to come to a fort that was doing pretty well. I realized though that I was getting bored with this fort I'd come back to, especially after a couple of goblin ambushes came and left. It wasn't a lot of damage they caused, but I didn't feel like playing cleanup on a fort I was already tired of (not to mention I didn't feel like dealing with the surely soon-to-follow goblin siege with a nearly gone military*)

So, I decided to try a cave-in (my first purposeful one, my second total) to destroy most of my fort before abandoning. I dug out a nice center spot for the pillar, channeled the perimeter of the floor that was to fall, and dug all out the space underneath. During this that goblin siege did come, but thankfully they were on the outside of the river and I realized I could pull the drawbridge up in time to stop any mass carnage.

The time came for me to pull the lever to destroy the pillar, and...

Nothing. No cave-in. I abandoned (or technically "gave up to the siege" that was still there), and started over on a new world. Turns out I had to dig out all the space on top of the floor I wanted falling too.

* My military was severely understaffed before the ambushes, so a few kills just about did away with it.

[MattStriker]

Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...

[WillowLuman]

Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...

I'm sorry, but that is brilliant. If you ever need to turn him insane, that should work great.

[weenog]

Mayor just mandated the production of rock salt mugs.

I think the place is getting to him.

Oh, and this guy absolutely detests bats. Turns out the engraver I ordered to beautify his bedroom a bit loves them...

Did you get any engravings of the mayor surrounded by bats and looking terrified?  Those are always fun when they turn up in a personal bedroom.

[MattStriker]

He went nuts after having a mandate ignored and losing his pet somehow (no idea what happened to it. I think it was a chicken or something). I counted 4 bat-related engravings in his room, which may have contributed to his downfall.

Lesson learned: Dorfs with a preference or hatred for any kind of hateable vermin do not belong on engraving duty.

[Catsup]

i have the same kind of face-palm quite a few times now, since my fort is 10 years old now and needs a lot of managing, i tend to forget to manage things sometimes, specifically the forgotten beast traps. Since forgotten beasts take a while to actually path to my fort after they enter the map i usually tend to forget about them after openning my trap's passage so they end up destroying the furniture bait, then destroying the safety hatch before running to my central stairwell.

Its happened more than a few times now and i lost some good war animals due to 1 particular beast with poisonous gas that caused bleed-outs. Most of the other ones were (luckily) relatively harmless and got taken done by my patrolling war rutherers and jabberers and my squad of marskdwarves who supported.

[fricy]

Plenty of faceplam moments, the latest:

The fort I'm building right now is my first one to make it to the magma, legendary military going, the Great Sock Crysis resolved, so I'm pretty proud of myself after all my previous tries failed miserably in lot's of FUN.

So, I have a vampire lady walled away for like 6+ years, made her the bookeper and the Guard Capt. so I can order her around, she has a pretty good quarter, so after checking her a couple of times and making sure she is OK I forget about her...

Until I get a message the she is throwing a tamtrum. Hmm, ok let's see. She is miserable because clothes rotting away and her being exposed. Checking the inventory...she is literaly butt-naked. Ok, I can understand her unhappiness, let's see what can I do about that. As I didn't want to let her loose on my fort being so thirsty after all these years, first I try designating a cloth stockpile close by so I can airlock her into it. Stock pile set up, "take from workshops" set up, clothes queued, !WORK! you lazy buggers! Except they wouldn't do it, no cloths delivered. So much for playing it safe.

Time for Plan B: I let her out and order her next to the workshops. She decides instead to run out of the fortress to pull off some blood-soaked sock from a dead goblin. FACEPALM #1 Hmmm, if it works for you honey, who am I to give you fashion advice? I go about my other fort business hoping she can take care of herself now, give her some time and lock her in later.

Next time I load the game I check on her: "Hauling animals" WTF? It seems the justice system - which was on hold while she (the Guard Capt.) was walled away - finally kicked in, so now she is down -140z levels to the magma forge for my backsmith who ignored some stupid important mandate. She must have been doing it for some time, because my jail was pretty filled up by that time. Checking the justice screen reveals I have 2 unresolved murders since I let her out, a mason and my recovering legendary militia captain. DAMN YOU! Inventory? Only the VERY SAME blood soaked pair of socks. FACEPALM #2 Apperantly justice system has a higher priority then putting on clothes.

I finally decide to micromanage her into putting on an armor and clothes, she almost makes it to the stockpiles, but instead throws a tantrum, takes off the socks and goes crazy. FACEPALM #3

Now I have a babbling butt-naked female vampire running around in my fort. So far no additional deaths, if she proves to be harmless I'll keep her for style.

On a related note: any advice on how to get her blood so I can taint a cistern for making vampires? I wanted to set up a separate Elite Vampire Squad, but now as I can't order her around, it's off the table.

f.