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[jaxy15]

This Kobold Camp packaged with masterwork had me curious. "I get to play as cutebolds and inhabit caves and build little mud huts and everything?  YAY!"

So I embarked on a cave and had the little buggers head down to the caverns, figured I'd start a little cutebold village down there.  Yay!

The facepalm came when I forgot that caves often had inhabitants.  I imagine it went a little like this:

"We're in the caves, yay!  We're building huts out of fungi, yay! We're OOHHHMMARGGGERLLL BLEERGGGHHL PANDA DEMON AUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Remaining population: 1 horribly scarred, terrified little cutebold huddling up on a small platform above the cave floor, in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably at the horror of having witnessed his fellow 'bolds being brutally beaten to death by a rythmically undulating panda demon with their own slings, while the panda demon has returned to its lair on a lower level to feed on the remains of the tribe.

EDIT: inb4 "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."

That's what you get for building huts as kobolds.
What are you, human?

[TheDarkStar]

This Kobold Camp packaged with masterwork had me curious. "I get to play as cutebolds and inhabit caves and build little mud huts and everything?  YAY!"

So I embarked on a cave and had the little buggers head down to the caverns, figured I'd start a little cutebold village down there.  Yay!

The facepalm came when I forgot that caves often had inhabitants.  I imagine it went a little like this:

"We're in the caves, yay!  We're building huts out of fungi, yay! We're OOHHHMMARGGGERLLL BLEERGGGHHL PANDA DEMON AUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Remaining population: 1 horribly scarred, terrified little cutebold huddling up on a small platform above the cave floor, in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably at the horror of having witnessed his fellow 'bolds being brutally beaten to death by a rythmically undulating panda demon with their own slings, while the panda demon has returned to its lair on a lower level to feed on the remains of the tribe.

EDIT: inb4 "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."

You might be sorry to hear this, but that wasn't actually a clown (unless masterwork changes a LOT about the game). It was just a normal forgotten beast, because it was alone and in the caves. Clowns are much, MUCH worse than forgotten beasts.

[AdjustingPriorities]

Well, my first attempt at a danger room went well. Just finished linking up the trap to the lever, sent in Urist McTestee, and leaned in to watch my succes. Short story shorter,(no pun intended, but accepted) do not mistake wooden training spears for wooden menacing spikes.

[Hungry Elephant]

Put together an embark profile of my own for the first time. I figured I'd thought of absolutely everything this time and was quite happy with it.

Found a good spot to embark and went to strike the earth...

...

.....

.......

Yeah. No pickaxes.

I'm not sure how that happened, must have accidentally deleted them from the profile somehow. So until the first dwarven caravan came in, my dorfs were stuck aboveground, living in wooden huts. One of them was eaten by a bear, but I'm fairly sure what he actually died of was embarrassment.

This is really ilarious.
I can image the scene:
UristmcExpeditionLeader: ok UristmcCompetentMiner I want a entrance on the side of that hill, then dig 10 Urist down and start to carve working spaces for the workshop.
UristmcMiner cancel dig: no pickaxes
UristmcMiner chases UristmcExpeditionLeader: pickaxes forgot during embark preparations

[Solon64]

You might be sorry to hear this, but that wasn't actually a clown (unless masterwork changes a LOT about the game). It was just a normal forgotten beast, because it was alone and in the caves. Clowns are much, MUCH worse than forgotten beasts.

Well, at first I suspected it was a "mere" forgotten beast (mind you, we're talking about cutebolds, a forgotten beast that would be relatively harmless to dwarves is horrifying to the little sentient vermin called kobolds.  God's sakes they can't even make any decent armor or weapons and they're like a third of the size of dwarves) since, as you said, it was alone and in the caves.  However, it is actually called a Panda Demon (as in there are potentially more than one of them, not just a unique name) and its tile is the tile used for demons, not forgotten beasts.

So perhaps masterwork changes something or I got a bug or what have you, but I'm 99% sure that the fell beast which devoured 6 kobolds in as many seconds is, in fact, a clown which has somehow escaped hell.  I'm gonna go check it in legends right now actually.

EDIT:  Yup, "In a time before time, Elemri began wandering the Underworld." "In the midwinter of 1, Elemri escaped from the Underworld."  Seven or so more lines of "struck down the kobold with a bronze sling."  That's in fact a demon that escaped from hell, settled in a random cave, and 100 years later a small tribe of kobolds blundered in and got brutally fuckmurdered.  And I got to witness it.  Hoo....rayy.....  What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.  Bastard.

So yeah.  Can't sleep.  Clown'll eat me.

[MattStriker]

What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.

Between Armok and Murphy? Damn near 100%.

[Solon64]

What are the odds that my first kobold camp play got me to witness what, as I understand it, is the rare coincidence of a demon escaping hell and NOT taking over some humie or gobbo civ, but rather, lying in wait for a hundred years just so he could shut down any hope I had of a peaceful cutebold coexistence with the world.

Between Armok and Murphy? Damn near 100%.

I nodded in recognition of the truth of this statement.  And then spewed mountain dew all over my keyboard laughing.  Well played sir.  Well played. *wipes up spilled soda hastily*

[ramensoup]

I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.

[Aviator CJ]

I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.

I believe that enemy war animals will always be enemies, even if you manage to train them - they'll still try to kill your dorfs left right and centre.

[MrSparky]

I just pastured some hostile war animals in my underground pasture, at Semi-Wild, thinking that my trainers would be able to retrain them before going back to full feral. Evidently not. Everyone is dying, throwing tantrums, and going berserk.

I believe that enemy war animals will always be enemies, even if you manage to train them - they'll still try to kill your dorfs left right and centre.

Correct. However if you leave them in their cages except to transfer females between cages for pregnancies you can breed them. That's how I got my pack of War Grizzlies. And a reliable supply of grizzly bear bones and meat.

[ramensoup]

Thanks, I will remember that for next time.

[Mortis]

Arrgh.
I just built a fully funtioning and sustainable magma reservoir/magma drowning chamber/ magma pump stack to bring the used magma back up to the reservoir and was testing it on a siege... when the game crashed. And I hadn't saved. And now my face has been laminated to my desk.
Damn!

[Ieb]

The game likes to laugh at me every once in a while, it seems.
A forgotten beast arrives, a huge monster made of vomit!

Remembering how pathetically weak every FB not made out of at least rock, the military is given a bored "get ready to whack a beast" command. Of course, things never worked out that way.

Problem 1: The FB had deadly dust. That caused a dorf to bleed to death a few seconds after the dust lands on 'em.
Problem 2: Out of the original 40 man military, no one managed to land a killing blow, the FB lost one limb and had everything else beaten to red by the time the soldiers were dead and it lumbered towards the civilians.

In the clusterfuck and mortal kombat within large open rooms that followed, around 100 dorfs died to the FB before someone finally punched the FB's lower body off. Of course by then everyone was miserable, a tantrum spiral was about to kick in, so I gave the order for my floodtrap to be activated, with failsafes removed. The fort flooded completely in about 2 seasons.

4 dorfs survived, who were the only ones who managed to stay near the food-processing or farming levels. Gave the only cave dragon I ever caught as a pet to the metalsmith who had taken an arrow to the lower spine in the past. MAYBE that thing will go with him after abandon now. If not, oh well. A shame. That fort lived nearly 20 years, and that was the only god damn cave dragon I ever saw.

The lesson of this story? Never underestimate vomit. Even more so if there's anything mentioned about "deadly dust" or "poison gas".

[Ianflow]

Make my first temperate fort, and it is all great, I learned tips and tricks
TURNS OUT, I forgot dwarves, despite embark presets, are new with every embark
I keep forgetting to reassign roles to which dwarves are best for what *facepalm*

[Tiruin]

After about months, I've upgraded my DF to the latest vanilla patch.

* Tiruin cheers in awe of the many new things to discover and the many other new things to have fun with - starting at an evil biome.

And to think not even the slightest bit of inorganic-organic matter revives. That, or I'm near a necromancer tower who just raises anything with a gesture. D:

I'd really love to know how they gesture though...Still, fun within first fort year.