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[Urist McMontros]

So I made a danger room to train my soldiers: 5x5 square of lever operated spikes. Three lever pulls got me two deaths, one severed arm, three broken legs, one dented brain (huh?) with shattered skull and one hole in the pancreas.

Redefining "Danger" room.

[Shininglight]

5 minutes ago my entire first Migrant wave just got washed off a waterfall because they PATHED THROUGH IT AS IT WAS RUNNING OVER A 7 z level cliff. Fml

[amic3r]

So, my ranger/sherrif once wanted to hunt an eagle...

Code: [Select]

The flying ({steel bolt}) strikes The Eagle in the lower body, tearing the muscle and tearing the guts!
The Eagle looks sick!
The Eagle is propelled away by the force of the blow!
The Eagle's upper body skids along the ground, bruising the muscle and bruising the heart!
The Eagle slams into an obstacle!
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle stands up.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.

[FrisianDude]

that seems pretty standard.


However, I just lost two Dwarfs to ... plump helmet men. Fff. And my newly appointed 'champion' who should train folk is doing that 'Noble' thing.

[Mr Space Cat]

So, my ranger/sherrif once wanted to hunt an eagle...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Code: [Select]

The flying ({steel bolt}) strikes The Eagle in the lower body, tearing the muscle and tearing the guts!
The Eagle looks sick!
The Eagle is propelled away by the force of the blow!
The Eagle's upper body skids along the ground, bruising the muscle and bruising the heart!
The Eagle slams into an obstacle!
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle stands up.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.
The Eagle vomits.
The Eagle retches.

My hunters wanted to hunt a firebird in Masterwork.

Code: [Select]

The flying +bone bolt+ strikes the firebird in the wing, tearing the muscle!
The firebird breathes dragonfire!
Urist McHunter is caught in dragonfire! x3
It ended about as well as it usually did: Three less crossbowdwarves, the surrounding landscape doomed to incinerate in a brushfire, and my forehead doomed to another facepalm.

[Pakkanen]

I brought some water into an underground reservoir for the winter and forgot to close the floodgate. My well flooded and swept away all of the dwarven children that were partying around the well. Everyone sleeping in the next room also drowned. The water took the children down the well and now my reservoir is full of bodies.
Does this affect the water?

[mithosaurion]

This one may be well known, but it was my first encounter.  I started a fortress above ground on a beach near a goblin fortress and basically built a glass village with basement complexes.  The center of the town was a 30 z-layer tall glass window covered tower.  Pretty standard fair right?  Well one day a goblin siege managed to catch a few dwarves outside fishing and they were killed before they could get to safety.  Among the dead was one of the dwarves from the initial embark, who was friends with everyone.  Sure enough The Great Berzerking followed.  Now, I have been through tantrum spirals before and I usually wait until the end, but this time I decided to just pull the plug and abandon the fortress.

So I embarked once more, this time on a mirthful biome, hoping for some peace and quiet.

The first eleven migrant waves were FULL of angry, miserable, and very unhappy dwarves.  I checked their status and found that they had all lost loved ones recently... and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD ADMIRED A GLASS WINDOW.

Apparently I had chosen the same civ and apparently all the dwarves that are not dead at abandonment get saved.

woops

[TacKY]

So I just had my first fort crumble..... because I didn't take into account that we could not use the rivers during winter since they would freeze over. All 22 of my dwarves died one by one of thirst. Then as my last four clanged to life, I remembered that  I had been harvesting plump helmets for months, so I could make some drinks...... I was too late.

[WillowLuman]

Ugh, sober, what a way to go _{for a dwarf}

So, here I was at a volcano, with a huge amount of mined stone. I try to build a bridge, make some tables n' doors n' crap, but everyone keeps complaining about there being no stone. After months go by, a giant Kea murders 2 in their sleep due to lack of doors and the cook tantrums about no furniture, I finally think to check the stones screen. Apparently, Obsidian is listed as an economic stone in this version.

[Tamber]

I just lost a fortress because I forgot you needed to leave a wall behind ramps for them to be usable; and, like an idiot, I couldn't figure out why nobody was going up two floors to get a drink or food...

...they all died sober, hungry and angry; because of a single brainfart whilst designating.


*sighs, grabs a coconut from the face palm, smacks self over head with it*

[Uggh]

With a lot of experience any job might become a bit boring but should my macelord really carry a bed into battle?

[WillowLuman]

That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it (large mass).

I set the framerate to 10,000(!) in dfhack to make time pass faster. However, forgetting that I had done so, I switched to web browsing while my miners dug out the workshops, and when I look back, 12 migrants have arrived who I have not yet designated bedrooms for.

[Uggh]

That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it.

It was made of feather wood...

[Mr Space Cat]

That is an awesome weapon imho, and deadly if he has the strength to lift it.

It was made of feather wood...

That just makes it dwarfier to bash people to death with it.

[Hetairos]

My duke convicted Urist McPlanter for "Violation of Production Order" (which somehow happened despite me paying constant attention to the mandates), decided to ignore the jail and probably sentenced him to a beating. Anyway, a sworddwarf punched his skull into his brain with a single strike. In his bedroom.

Some time later, "Urist McPlanter has been found dead" showed up in announcements. YOU DON'T SAY?

Now some dwarf is sleeping in his bed. Yup, right next to the corpse.

I check the Justice screen and see the unresolved case of Urist McPlanter's murder. Yeah, who could've done it? I have no idea.

I am beginning to think my dwarves are not very good at this "justice" thing.