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[Silverlock]

I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(

Or when they decide it's a good idea to waste all of my steel on said right gauntlets.

Could be worse: my doctor keeps using my adamantine strands for sutures.  That wouldn't be so bad if it let you produce a six-million-urist dwarf or something, but such is not the case.

[Blackadder]

So this really isn't a Dwarf Fortress Facepalm, but I read yesterday's (11/29/12) dev log update, and I was somewhat tired, so I just skimmed through it at first, and my eyes caught the part that said "They've acquired Dwarf Fortress." and I almost died xD. I then realized that Toady was referring to a museum exhibit. Well played.

(As a side note, how incredible is it for Dwarf Fortress to be included alongside classics such as Pac-Man, Tetris, Myst and... Katamari? Still pretty amazing xD)

[Vrakanas]

Well, remember those gobs and trolls that totally ruined my perfect fort. It seems it wasn't so bad after all. They saved it this time.

Yeah ironic eh? Those murdering greenskins actually are friendlies now and fended off several ambushes and a particularly nasty kobby siege.
Yay goblin spearmasters.....well....that was entirely undwarflike of me.

[Scootagoose]

I hate when my Armorer make 15 masterfull right gauntlets and none of left =(

Or when they decide it's a good idea to waste all of my steel on said right gauntlets.

Could be worse: my doctor keeps using my adamantine strands for sutures.  That wouldn't be so bad if it let you produce a six-million-urist dwarf or something, but such is not the case.

Happens to me a lot, i ended up forbidding all of my adamantine.

[daemus]

I've been playing this game for only about 6 months.  First post here.

I was getting a bit bored with the usual rock crafts based economy in my forts, so I thought I'd switch things up and try out the textile industry.  Everything was going smoothly (other than my supplies of rock nuts disappearing for no discernible reason) until the third spring when I had my first siege.  Since my military wasn't very well equipped just yet (I had just finished construction of my magma forges), I quickly made a burrow consisting of the entire fort interior to get my citizens behind the surface walls and then raised my drawbridge.  Shortly thereafter, I saw dwarves cancelling drink orders due to having no water sources, and realized that while I had been preoccupied with the deep forges, I had emptied my wood stockpile.  My brewer had been slacking off for at least a couple months since he had no barrels to fill, and since there were a dozen goblin archers outside my walls, chopping new trees wasn't an option.

But, I knew how to deal with moments like this and had already picked out a good spot for a well on my hospital floor.  The well would draw from a reservoir that I would dig out next to a cavern lake which could be safely sealed off by a floodgate.  The construction would probably take about 3 minutes.

...Except as my miner begins to channel out the well, he just stops digging.  Stuck in the bottom of a 6 z-level pit he just dug, he decides to stop.  "No job" it says.

The floodgate and mechanisms are ready, more and more dwarves are complaining of thirst, and I'm wondering what kind of lazy my dehydrated miner must be to choose this moment to lay down on the job.  I have my other miners begin to dig another path to finish the well, ruining some of the aesthetics of my fortress layout in the process, but they too get about 90% to where they need to be, and then stop.

At this point I'm cursing loudly at the miners while the first dehydration death occurs, I immediately bring up dwarf therapist and make EVERYBODY a miner.  I skip the well entirely and simply designate the removal of a 3-tile thick wall on the cavern z-level so the population has access to the subterranean lake.  The workers arrive and dig out one.. two tiles.. and then STOP.  A 1-tile thick wall separates my thirsty fortress from an infinite supply of fresh water, and nobody seems to want to touch it.  Then the waves of dehydration deaths begin.

It is precisely at this moment that I realize: the citizens are still restricted to the burrow I just made.  The burrow which so happens to end exactly one tile away from the lake...

And... FACEPALM.

Of course, a quarter of the population is already dead by the time I am able to fix this error.  The tantrum spiral begins just as a mood fails.  In the chaos, someone flips the lever in the legendary dining hall which lowers the drawbridge.  A dozen elite goblin archers immediately charge my entrance.  Their rain of arrows make remarkably short work of my 30+ war dogs...

The population of my fort was 100+ before the siege began.  It is now 17 (including 2 babies).  The survivors are teetering on the brink of insanity in clouds of miasma as they try to clean all the blood from the floors and carry the countless bodies (and their many pieces) to the mass grave on the surface.

[XXSockXX]

I was getting a bit bored with the usual rock crafts based economy in my forts, so I thought I'd switch things up and try out the textile industry.  Everything was going smoothly (other than my supplies of rock nuts disappearing for no discernible reason) until the third spring when I had my first siege.  Since my military wasn't very well equipped just yet (I had just finished construction of my magma forges), I quickly made a burrow consisting of the entire fort interior to get my citizens behind the surface walls and then raised my drawbridge.  Shortly thereafter, I saw dwarves cancelling drink orders due to having no water sources, and realized that while I had been preoccupied with the deep forges, I had emptied my wood stockpile.  My brewer had been slacking off for at least a couple months since he had no barrels to fill, and since there were a dozen goblin archers outside my walls, chopping new trees wasn't an option.

To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

[Aviator CJ]

To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

This. The moment I realised you could do this, I facepalmed at all the needless woodchopping I'd had done.

My most recent facepalm however came when I tried to fill a 2-level deep pit with water to try drowning some trolls. I dug out a tunnel and set up a pump to pump water through a carved fortification, and had a dwarf merrily pumping away, but the water level went nowhere. Then I remembered that the pit has an aquifer at the bottom, which was simply absorbing all the excess water.

[daemus]

To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

Well.... you see I..... The thing is....

............. I forgot about pots.

Also, I was planning on making the well anyway, so I figured hey what better time to get around to it than when everyone's dying of thirst during a siege?  If I could have got the well made in time, I wouldn't have had to worry about immediate production of pots/booze.

This also happened to be one of my first fortress designs that didn't incorporate a pond behind the defensive walls.  In the future, though, it would make more sense to skip the wooden barrels completely and start with rock pots from the get-go.  Now if only there was a way to make rock bins...

[usgreth]

Captured a bronze colossus the other day. Today finished my arena death pit after a little interruption by elves and goblins. I thought they had finished building the colossus's cage by the pit when I told them to pit him. He inevitably escaped and had a little rampage before I could draw him back into a cage trap. I thought phew, and told everyone to return back to normal, however the pitting order was still active so some little numpty went and released the colossus again..

[Mr Space Cat]

To make you facepalm even bigger: Why didn't you make rock pots instead of barrels? Then you wouldn't have run out booze in the first place.

even better: green glass pots. All you need is a magma fueled glass furnace and some shmuck hauler set to collect sand on repeat and presto-as many glass pots as you could want to fill.

[Awessum Possum]

I had two fails in quick succession earlier today, though the second wasn't entirely my fault.

The first fail, ALWAYS. CHECK. YOUR DESIGNATIONS. I had my miners mining out part of the 3rd cavern layer to make navigation easier, while this is happening I was all the way at the surface slabbing some of the casualties from Nöx (I think that was his name) the green glass forgotten beast who had single handedly driven me out of the 1st cavern layer. So here I am slabbing away when I get this:

"You have discovered a great magma sea!"
"Raw Adamantine! Praise the miners!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed!"
"The mandate of mayor Olon Zasolbor has ended."
I had misdesignated a tile and punched straight through to the magma sea, diorite boulders flew every where wounding several masons who were sealing of part of the caverns, and two legendary miners, including my mayor, fell into the magma sea and died. It was almost a month and two magma crab attacks later that the lava cleared up enough for me to cover the hole, at which point my next disaster occurred.


"Urist McMason cancels build wall: Interrupted by Crundle."
I looked and found a bunch of crundles milling about on top of my wall where they couldn't reach anyone, but could be easily seen and thus disrupt my work. So I deployed my two hammer lords (the only survivors from the battle with Nöx) and mined a path to the crundles. The crundles were wiped out, but one of my hammer lords had been knocked out of action. Soon enough afterwards that no one had been able to recover the wounded, but long enough after that my healthy soldier had wandered off to get something to drink, a Reacher appears not more than three tiles away from my helpless hammer lord. After dispatching my hammer dwarf, the Reacher proceeded to chase my civilians around my little cavern enclave, every time one of the dwarves would get interrupted by the Reacher when trying to retrieve a crundle corpse, another dwarf would pick  up the job. My remaining soldier  spent a week drinking, and then, got half way to the caverns and decided to go back up stairs for a nap. Finally, the Reacher attacked a woods dwarf and lost his head, but it was still annoying.

[Sutremaine]

Decided to switch my military to copper shields during the last month of the season...

While they were wandering back and forth instead of training in the barracks, an ambush got into the main corridor. They were quickly dispatched by a trancing pickmaster, and I stationed the dwarves in the barracks area to try and get them to focus for a second. My legendary cook wandered by on a hauling job (god knows what for) just as all the military were away picking up stuff, and got splattered before the military got back.

I forgot I had a bridge that would seal off the fortress, and have had for several years. Oh well, I was going to raise the popcap anyway, and I have 252 units of unrendered fat and no place to store tallow. Training time!

[DerNachbar]

My Baron just went mad and the only reason for that seems to be some better tomb than his... I just had my militia kill him. Is that detail so important?

[XXSockXX]

My Baron just went mad and the only reason for that seems to be some better tomb than his... I just had my militia kill him. Is that detail so important?

If anybody (except for the king) has a better room (dining/bedroom/office/tomb), he gets a severe bad thought. This goes by tier, so if he has a "royal" room nobody of lower rank can have a "royal" room.
If he is not pretty ecstatic otherwise that thought can drive him over the edge. You need to make sure he gets enough happy thoughts from other things and check the rooms ("R") to make sure he has the best rooms.

[bluefox]

Now if only there was a way to make rock bins...

I always mod in a reaction to make rock bins.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[REACTION:MAKE_ROCK_BIN]
   [NAME:make rock bin]
   [BUILDING:CRAFTSMAN:NONE]
   [REAGENT:A:1:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:NONE:NONE][WORTHLESS_STONE_ONLY]
   [PRODUCT:100:1:BIN:NONE:GET_MATERIAL_FROM_REAGENT:A:NONE][EMPTY]
   [SKILL:STONECRAFTING]

I've had three facepalms recently.

The first was when I was puzzling about how to make humans survive worldgen. It turns out they have a much higher chance of surviving if you don't delete them entirely from the raws (I think it was the script I used to get rid of animalmen).

The second was when I was trying to get my jeweler to cut all those nice rough gems cluttering up the place so I could decorate and/or sell them. I must have scrolled a little too fast through the list, because I ended up with a lot of marble cachabons ... when I desperately needed that marble for steel production. Now that I think of it, that's a double facepalm, since I should have turned off all economic stone.

Speaking of steel production, it had been a while since I've had huge iron deposits, and I was enjoying the sight of my iron stockpiles filling up. I made three magma smelters, made a bunch of iron bars, but what's this? I can't seem to make pig iron? It took me several hours to realize that I still needed charcoal as flux, even if I didn't need the coal as fuel.