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[minecartnage]

Set up a fortress. Everything was running smoothly.
A few hours after embark, one dwarf dies of old age sending the entire fortress into a tantrum spiral.

wat

[JimDale]

Tried to set up a bridgeanutapult for launching goblins. It wouldn't work the first few times I was using it, so I fumbled around some more with it. After an hour or so of no luck and around 25 reconstructions, I finally remembered I had to use the wadxs keys to change the configuration.

Then, bam. It's done. Gleefully I assign over 50 of my prisoners to be set on the bridge, launching all of them in turn and in groups and happily watching the glorious explosions of gore on my castle walls.

However, all of a sudden, I get the message " 'Urist McVon Baron' has been found dead." Panicked, I check the piles of gore on my front porch for his remains, and discover his mutilated corpse as well as the damn HUMAN DIPLOMAT'S DEAD CARCASS.

So now, I'm pretty sure I'll have to fight a war with iron and steel-clad humans while I've barely found any iron ore in this embark. Ugh.

[Drazinononda]

Tried to set up a bridgeanutapult for launching goblins. It wouldn't work the first few times I was using it, so I fumbled around some more with it. After an hour or so of no luck and around 25 reconstructions, I finally remembered I had to use the wadxs keys to change the configuration.

Then, bam. It's done. Gleefully I assign over 50 of my prisoners to be set on the bridge, launching all of them in turn and in groups and happily watching the glorious explosions of gore on my castle walls.

However, all of a sudden, I get the message " 'Urist McVon Baron' has been found dead." Panicked, I check the piles of gore on my front porch for his remains, and discover his mutilated corpse as well as the damn HUMAN DIPLOMAT'S DEAD CARCASS.

So now, I'm pretty sure I'll have to fight a war with iron and steel-clad humans while I've barely found any iron ore in this embark. Ugh.

First off, awesome job. Replace your entrance hallway with another bridgeapult or two and the siege should be a snap.

Second, humans don't get steel. But once you've flung them to death, you can recycle their iron into steel (assuming you have flux, at least) and out-equip them.

[GuesssWho]

I just caught myself planning to keep my animals safe by killing their owners and then putting them in cages so no one ever brings them anywhere dangerous.

. . . you know what? Fuck it. I'm doing it anyway.

[Tiruin]

From 34.0x - first appearance of undead > 34.11

Fun with minecarts.

I had apparently forgotten the power of undead, thinking they were still as weak as sticks like before.

I visited a tomb.

[Chaz GELF]

Another facepalm moment, this time not because of my actions, but because of one of my dwarves' actions. Urist McCraftsdwarf got taken by a Possessed mood, but instead of claiming a workshop, he just went to his bedroom and did nothing until going stark raving mad.

Actually, now that I've typed that, it is a facepalm moment for me in hindsight. I didn't have the workshop he wanted so he had no choice but to sit around listlessly in his bedroom until he went bonkers. Whoops.

I managed to catch Urist McWeaponsmith's secretive mood before he went mad though, and he made a legendary trifle pewter battleaxe. This seems to have made almost everyone in my fort happy, according to DwarfTherapist at least.

[Pukako]

Accidental collision between my central corridor containing all the booze and levels, and my subtle magma moat project... One of the risks of having the fortress entrance right next to the crater of an active volcano...

Nothing like seeing a carefully constructed fortress spanning 75 levels (one for each dwarf) plummet to 2 in a very short time.

A stonecrafter running to the edge of the map under the guise of 'penning a large animal', and the mayor sitting in the doomed forgeworks, watching the magma flow in, clutching a barrel of dwarven rum...

I'll miss you, Quakemirrors...

[Nezumi]

I had a pretty nice throne room set up for my mayor/manager, who, more importantly, was also my Legendary +5 glass maker.  It even had clear glass and gem windows overlooking my courtyard, and the valley below.

But then I forgot that windows don't count as floor in the square above them unlike constructed walls.  So one Goblin Chrismas, what's that on the rooftop but jolly 'ol saint Goblin Crossbowman?  Literally the only way my mayor could be shot is diagonally down 1 z level.  If only the draft from that gap had caused an unhappy thought or something, maybe tragedy could have been prevented.  Sadly, there will be no masterwork clear glass statues in anyone's stockings this year.

[Scootagoose]

Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.

[misko27]

Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.

Well, you are certainly annoyed. Question, is he capable of using his arms? Handless dwarves do spam. Remove his jobs. Cripple him and send him off to the hospital. Or just drop a cave-in on his head.

[Scootagoose]

Currently, a crippled dwarf keeps giving my "URIST ANNOYING CANCELED BLAH: TOO INJURED" so I wanted to arrange an unfortunate accident. Apparently, he is too crippled to report a crime, but not too crippled to kill a damn kobold thief while on duty.

Well, you are certainly annoyed. Question, is he capable of using his arms? Handless dwarves do spam. Remove his jobs. Cripple him and send him off to the hospital. Or just drop a cave-in on his head.

Yeah. He is handless. and yeah, sounds like a good idea. Time to arrange a cave-in.

[knutor]

Thinking I could turn 7 levels of magma all into obsidian by dripping one piped stream of water, over top of it.  *facepalm*  All I got was lots and lots of cave-in messages, but no obsidian.  There should be a pyramid of obsidian block down there.  I've got half a mind to turn on /nopause and see if one eventually forms.

[Chessrook44]

Made a whole lot of mining for my magma forges.  Dug out the forge room, the magma channels, the ore storage, the lever room and floodgates, cut a channel for the magma.......and nothing happened.

Turned out I built everything one level too high.  So now I'm working on a small reactor and pump system to raise the magma one level.

[lastrix]

So i made a really happy embark with 10k juicy stones on it. Made a first settlement and i read some "face palm moments". Actually i stopped at Reply #7105 when one of my xbow-dwarfs get hit at second summer... without hospital  it died quickly, and she made other 2 dwarfs, her best friends, miserable. When they died - more dwarfs start tantruming around! They nearly destroyed all my work, the castle survived with some dwarfs onboard, migrants became new fuel soon.

I thought that worst was in past and wont be again.

I decided to lower my natural map elevation, typed "fastdwarfs 1 1" in dfhack console. Don't i mention that i lost 2 dwarfs? They collided with ground, i don't know why they came at diged spot.
Still okay, noone cares - just an expendable.

After map flattening i decided to clean map from those crappy rocks and really huge pile of tattered cloth, so what i did? EUREKA! I opened stocks -> stone and setted all to dump, then i go to armor...

Actually i wasn't sure why that wave of FUN have started. When i looked at dwarfs inventory i saw only cloaks. :facepalm:
No problem! i tried to make 150 of each type... okay only tunics and trousers was ready when those expendable started another fortress destraction. Now i was prepeared!

You have a tantrum problem? It's no problem! Mr. Watery Pit at your service! Sadly only 9(+1 baby +1 6yo child for total of 11) dwarfs leaft alive. Actually i have selected 18 dwarfs for surviving. A good duke noble, planter, miner, leatherworker and armorsmith.
But duke, planter and some miners was forced to take a magma shower.

As a result my fortress was defended from evil dwarfs and cleared from any garbage they may leave. Now i'm trying to continue with some juicy-stone, just for future needs. Also i made some coins, hope this would help me with room assignment (it's crap when newly created fine bedroom get claimed by a... hauler!).
BTW does steel cloth tatters?

[lastrix]

double posted, see previous message.