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[Scootagoose]

I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.

[Catstorm]

My fortress Crystalskulls was going well until I decided to become self-sustainable and stop worrying about the well out in the open and the trees. I got my miners to dig down into a cavern and make use of the water there. My entire fortress was ravaged by a cave crocodile and withered.

I got a second group to reclaim it. The caverns were still open, so blind cave ogres were loose and I lost one of the seven downing them. I then lost one of my two miners in a cave, stuck in a web, causing the other miner to tantrum, heavily suffering under his death and the many ghosts of the former group whose bodies were mostly in the caverns and could not be claimed (especially noted are the efforts of one ghost who killed like 5 dwarves or tore off their limbs very often. He got an engraving.) He cried on the shoulder of my expedition leader in anguish.

 Then a forgotten beast entered the map and I managed to wall it off until it was in the lower cavern. Then I decided to keep the beast in the lower cavern and recover the bodies in the upper so I opened the entrance and designated to close the tunnel to the lower one but my dorfs just wouldn't build the wall and would rather go on reclaim item runs. So the forgotten beast and its buddies decided to slay 3/4 of my military before succumbing with the help of the human caravan present.

With the massive gap in the force, I could only hope to keep the very obtrusive troglodytes away. Then at the same time a goblin invasion occurred and my whole military was devastated. A child went berzerk and wouldn't stop punching a dwarf and my only military member who wasn't bedridden had to down him. A second goblin invasion finally killed my fortress outright.

All of this could have been prevented if I hadn't opened that cavern up. :|

[misko27]

I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.

How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.

[terko]

All of this could have been prevented if I hadn't opened that cavern up. :|

Wrong, it would have become even worse better.

[Hanslanda]

I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.

How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.

In fact, this is one of the most awesome fortress ends I've ever heard about. It would make an excellent story.
"We must slay the diplomat!"
They do.
"Traitorous bastards!" They all cry at each other.
Fighting begins.
Demons arrive.
Fighting gets... Extremely complicated.

[Eoganachta]

Building a duel magma/water pump stack that is currently hooked up fill a massive natural cistern (read: hole) at the top of a mountain. I was going to use this as a massive water/magma tower to store fluid to plumb my fort and wash out invaders. The first problem was the seasonal change where my only renewable water source is frozen for half the year. To fix this I tried to heat the water sources with magma underneath piping it in from a volcano. A single tile corridor was too slow so I tried to channel the walls out from the z level above. Dwarves tried to stand on the tiles they were channelling and a few burnt to death. As this was happening several dwarves got incinerated by my magma refuse disposal system and pummelled by falling refuse from garbage piles falling on top of them. I couldn't see what was happening because of all the smoke. Gave up when mothers started catching fire while clutching their burning children. Magma mist is more dangerous than I thought.

[Bartholomew The Pious]

Just today I was setting up a simple 10 squad danger room. Everything else is okay, except for a wonky mistake I made by building 10 seperate weapon traps in lieu of upright spikes. Then I realize levers cannot activate weapon traps.

[nekoexmachina]

So, my crossbo'/axe dorf got an order to kill human lasher.
While trading with those petty beardless loosers.
All the traders except the lasher were locked in special trade^W merchanttortune-room.
He attacked him with f*n wooden bolts. Of course got attacked back with a whip, broking his right arm. OK so next guy takes steel axe, chops lasher's leg and dies from a broken head.
Well, I can wait. Some month passed. Lasher did not get in the fortress, traders still were staying in their special room. While that, I've made some silver bolts (I've got more silver than iron lol).
So my crossbow guy had his hand fixed. Still broken thou he got out from the hospital. So I take him and command him to attack that damn lasher again. And he does it.. With the f*kn same wooden bolts. Now he's got both legs broken and 1 arm broken, again. And he is ecstatic. From the moment he was rescued he was friggin ecstatic.
*fplm*
I was aaaangry at him than. Made a command of 10 peasant like loosers, gave him metal weapon usage orders and kill that bastard.. You should'v seen it. 10 guys with no skills, 1 guy with some skills (it should take some skills to break bones through steel armor of masterful q), no victims on my side, he was torn to little lifeless pieces. I've came ecstatic that moment.

[Tamber]

(Playing with a freshly modded-in Draconic race. Why? Because.)

Hmm. Badgers? That's going to make things interesting; hopefully they stay far enough away from ...
The Herbalist breathes fire
...shit.

And now most of the map is ankle-deep ashes! \o/

Lin, leader: *sigh* ...the elves are gonna have a field day with this.
Alpeth, fisher: No pun intended?
Lin: ... *twists Alpeth's head off*

[Sutremaine]

Not so much a facepalm for the dwarves as for me.

After a lot of false starts and button presses I finally got a minecart spiral ramp set up, and I was planning to (slowly) flood the world to see how far the magma would get with this setup. Two of the four ramps were at ground level and at that point I was too fed up to extend it. When I do this properly I'm going to orient everything so that the pumps, waterwheels, and half of the rollers don't need their directions changing. I'm not sure whether this is more or less annoying to set up than a pump stack...

[infinityc0mplex]

Urist McDumbass, Mason cancels Construct Building: Creature occupying site

Yeah that would happen if you're standing where the wall you're building is supposed to be.

[Chaz GELF]

Realising that dwarves will claim beds on their own, without me having to designate every single bed to every single dwarf. (At least I think that's how it works, right?)

[AutomataKittay]

Realising that dwarves will claim beds on their own, without me having to designate every single bed to every single dwarf. (At least I think that's how it works, right?)

Yep, if they can path to bed and it's avaliable for taking, they'll grab it when they get sleepy. The exception is hunters and anyone that don't sleeps. I'm pretty sure soldiers will claim beds if they're set to allow it.

[Scootagoose]

I was trying to have my fortress, MarkedCheeses, go out with a bang. I opened up the circus and had my warriors ready. Thing is, my baron was in the squad along with the diplomat, I had my dwarves attack the clowns in a rectangle and ended up ordering them to attack the diplomat, causing a loyalty cascade in the middle of a clown invasion.

How is this a face palm? Sounds like you more then accomplished your objective.

In fact, this is one of the most awesome fortress ends I've ever heard about. It would make an excellent story.
"We must slay the diplomat!"
They do.
"Traitorous bastards!" They all cry at each other.
Fighting begins.
Demons arrive.
Fighting gets... Extremely complicated.

You guys may be right.

Recently, I decided to try to capture a a forgotten beast and make a trap with him, problem is that Urist McVeryImportant warrior decided that he wanted a helmet that I forgot to forbid, Que me minimizing the screen and finding out about half my fortress was piled on top of each other, trying to get eachother's corpses.

[Chaz GELF]

Another one from me: Finding out from a friend that while attempting to satisfy a very picky mayor's needs, I was actually making matters worse by making each object in the room a room of its own, thus splitting up the value between all of the rooms in this square of floor. I thought I had to do that in order to make sure that the mayor knew all the items in the room belonged to him, but as soon as I removed the room assignments on everything but the things necessary to make said rooms, he was satisfied with the rooms' quality.

That got rather confusing.