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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2129873 times)

McClaude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7080 on: October 07, 2012, 11:49:14 pm »

I send my only soldier to figth a Sauropod, sure i knew it was big, and fat, and strong, but McRambon was a very skilled dwarf. And so i needed the fat and the bones and the meat.

I was carefull to check the figth Setp-byStep... in 2 hit he was with an Arm Broken, a hand splatered and the chest cut open (how tha fuck the sauropod cuted it?), anyway, i stoped the figth, and inmediatly asked for and emergenci diagnosis. My dumbass-drunkentobut-lazynuss doctor was not helping... He finaly decided to make the diagnosis and guess what he needed a Caste Plaster rigth away!

So i started to do the thingy plaster, cuz i didnt haved it, i was needing charcoal, swiftly set up a Woodburning Furnace and send some charcoal rigth away; but no dwarf maked the charcoal... i was sure there was some dwarvens with the Furnace Operating avalible, but i couldnot make them make the charcoal...

After a complete season of waiting for a simple charcoal I was pissed, really PISSED. At the McRambon soldier cuz was a dumb ass not avoiding such a slow creature, at the doctor for telling me to make a caste plaster thingy, and at the all 25 other dwarves because I enabled the Furnace Operating labor and NO-ONE MAKES THE BLOODY CHARCOAL!

The soldier died (i dont remember why), the 2 original furnace operators died drowned in the well as punishment for their incompetence, and the doctor was reducted to hauling services.

Then i saw ---- "WOOD BURNING DISABLED"

OMFG YOU DUMP*%&&·%·&/"(")(·&*^^*

Yep true story....
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Hirix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7081 on: October 08, 2012, 06:35:15 am »

Starting a new game on a new world. All is well then I get my first migrant wave. All the 7 Dwarves that came with that wave was miserable and upon entering my fortress, one went berserk and killed everyone of my Dwarves... Happened an hour ago
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7082 on: October 08, 2012, 08:56:45 am »

He finaly decided to make the diagnosis and guess what he needed a Caste Plaster rigth away!
Splints work just as well as plaster casts.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

imperium3

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7083 on: October 08, 2012, 11:55:08 am »

Starting a new game on a new world. All is well then I get my first migrant wave. All the 7 Dwarves that came with that wave was miserable and upon entering my fortress, one went berserk and killed everyone of my Dwarves... Happened an hour ago

Sure it was a brand new world? I think that often happens when you've abandoned a failing fortress in the same world. The already tantruming dwarves get put in the migrant pool to visit fun on future forts.
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misko27

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7084 on: October 08, 2012, 08:08:32 pm »

EDIT:

I uh, managed to somehow set up a food stockpile somewhere far off in the wild. I think it was to save a dwarf stranded by a siege. Anyway, It turns out it is now all we have left, and there is a siege in the way.

Oh the bitter irony.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 12:29:54 am by misko27 »
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maltapotamus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7085 on: October 09, 2012, 12:29:20 am »

ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....

so i was reading about "pill boxes" and decided to make some of my own. in comes a siege. :) perfect time to try them out! they were working out great! sniping  gobos and trolls :) yay!

i was still finishing up several of them, including one in the peak of the mountain i was in. i was smoothing the walls, then carving fortifications.

i was watching some gobo's being pelted by my marksdwarves when i noticed some where walking away from the spot they had been sitting at for a while... they went up to the top of my hill.... where i noticed that parts of the wall was completely gone....

apparently i didn't designate for smoothing like i had thought..... ug.... i now have an openening for the 70ish lashers and trolls to come into my fort.... currently trying to stay alive after this.... sent my military (10 hammer, 10 axe, 18 ish xbow) to hopefully buy some time for walls to be built.... i also hope they don't (though i know they will) get to my gobo prison....... 40+ in there plus some trolls.... naked at least... but still.. :( no more target practice.

wish me luck with all this !FUN!  :D
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misko27

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7086 on: October 09, 2012, 12:37:23 am »

ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....
Thats what FUN does. It waits. You get complacent. And then BAM. Oh shit, FUN all over the fort. Oh yeah, just figured out why that happened? Too bad, it won't save the life of your suddenly suicidal legendary weaponsmith/most-popular-dwarf-in-town. Oh wait, is everyone tantruming? Guess what, thye just knocked out your supports and floodgates, and now theres magma streaming itno the fort, oh and look, its right by the booze stock pile, explode. And now cats are on fire and running around and destroy a goblin cage and now its running around on fire, bopping dwarfs like nobodies business, and then al of a sudden a magma proof FB shows up a decides to kill of the few pockets of aliveness and generally flooding more of the fort.

And then there are 15 dwarves left, and 1 goblin, aboveground, and wait is that a dragon...
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maltapotamus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7087 on: October 09, 2012, 12:47:31 am »

ive been reading this thread for several days now and been thinking to myself "huh, im glad i haven't had any of these problems!! i must be really good or something!" im still fairly new, playing for about 2 months or so.....
Thats what FUN does. It waits. You get complacent. And then BAM. Oh shit, FUN all over the fort. Oh yeah, just figured out why that happened? Too bad, it won't save the life of your suddenly suicidal legendary weaponsmith/most-popular-dwarf-in-town. Oh wait, is everyone tantruming? Guess what, thye just knocked out your supports and floodgates, and now theres magma streaming itno the fort, oh and look, its right by the booze stock pile, explode. And now cats are on fire and running around and destroy a goblin cage and now its running around on fire, bopping dwarfs like nobodies business, and then al of a sudden a magma proof FB shows up a decides to kill of the few pockets of aliveness and generally flooding more of the fort.

And then there are 15 dwarves left, and 1 goblin, aboveground, and wait is that a dragon...

lol! yeah, some how though i slaughtered (one axe dwarf took out 8 of them by himself) all the trolls, which apperently scared off all the gobos.... :) im very pleased with myself. im actually not even sure if i actually lost any one in the military.... though i know i lost at least 1 legendary miner and a few engravers.... all well. it was a lot of fun laughing at myself! :)

edit:: lost 1 axe, 1 hammer and 1 marks.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 12:49:08 am by maltapotamus »
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kääpiö

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7088 on: October 09, 2012, 10:57:42 am »

A stupid dwarf was building a wall, next to a bridge over a chasm. 10X01, 1 is a wall, 0 is no wall and X is the wall s/he was building. Now I've got 4 dwarves left. Dwarven logic is very fucked up. Also he took my other pick, so only 1 miner for now.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 10:59:36 am by kääpiö »
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Grax

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7089 on: October 09, 2012, 11:20:30 am »

A stupid dwarf was building a wall, next to a bridge over a chasm. 10X01, 1 is a wall, 0 is no wall and X is the wall s/he was building. Now I've got 4 dwarves left. Dwarven logic is very fucked up.
Nope.
Dwarven logic is great. It's just great because it's dwarven.

But who's in fault that dwarven logic is a fucked up human logic?
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chaosgear

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7090 on: October 10, 2012, 03:39:24 pm »

So I'm building a wall around my entrance. "Dwarves have suspended the construction; creature in the way" I look, and the dwarf that is building the wall is standing where it's being built. He suspended the construction because he was in the way. He left.  I unsuspended it. He returned and stepped on the constructions spot again. He can't build it cuz he's in the way. He suspends it. We repeat this cycle many times.

Never did finish that wall. Goblins invaded before it was finished. *twitch*
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Edmus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7091 on: October 10, 2012, 03:57:48 pm »

So I'm building a wall around my entrance. "Dwarves have suspended the construction; creature in the way" I look, and the dwarf that is building the wall is standing where it's being built. He suspended the construction because he was in the way. He left.  I unsuspended it. He returned and stepped on the constructions spot again. He can't build it cuz he's in the way. He suspends it. We repeat this cycle many times.

Never did finish that wall. Goblins invaded before it was finished. *twitch*
Dwarves are quite stupid. If that happens again just cancel the designation and place it again.  Too late now it seems...
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7092 on: October 11, 2012, 12:21:33 am »

Decide to into DFHack to quicksave and go to the bottom of the computer screen. Accidently press right mouse 'button' (it's below the touchpad) and select 'close all windows', which exits without saving. Lost a season's work, including one of those trading sessions where you throw everything you have at the traders in half a dozen different sessions in the hope of getting hold of everything you ordered.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

urmane

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7093 on: October 11, 2012, 08:35:52 am »

Spent ages constructing a three-wide aqueduct from a river, complete with cistern, wells, fishing, place for future waterwheels, extra floodgates, flowed off-map (instead of into the caverns like I usually do), more ages smoothing the whole thing.  Sprayed down on over the beards entering the dining hall, plenty of grates to funnel off water ....

Well, apparently not enough grates.  After dealing with the Forgotten Beast, found the dining room flooded.  Went to turn off the floodgates ... but the switching control room was also under water ... < facepalm >
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topper

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7094 on: October 11, 2012, 01:19:06 pm »

Allowed refuse: (bones, teeth) in my master quantum stockpile to empty out my refuse stockpile. At the same time I ordered up 20 full sets of copper armor to get my military geared up. A season later I go to trade and I have 20 sets of XXcopper chain mailXX, XXcopper greavesXX, XXcopper right gauntletXX, etc.

...so that is why I cant seem to get to a surplus in clothing!  ::)
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