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[Hurkyl]

I was in the process of writing a post asking why my attempt to use a cave-in in a glacier biome was failing to produce water: all I got was a pillar of ice in my cistern.

Fortunately, I thought to unpause and watch for a few seconds before I hit "Post".

[Adequate Swimmer]

I was in the process of writing a post asking why my attempt to use a cave-in in a glacier biome was failing to produce water: all I got was a pillar of ice in my cistern.

Fortunately, I thought to unpause and watch for a few seconds before I hit "Post".

Was that before or after the dwarves started killing each other for the last drop of water?

[Nubshiggurath]

biggest facepalm yet: read about 60 pages of this thread on my phone before finding where I can turn sigs off.

[zahmir]

Breached through a z-7 layer aquifer and was attempting to mine out some gold ore on the z-level directly below the aquifer.  I must have breached the aquifer because the bottom layer was flooded with no hope of recovery. *sigh* Back to work using a modified two-slit method; hopefully it'll be more speedy this time.

[darkgloomie]

Trying to train a some fisherdwarves in swimming, I made a walled off room, filled it with water via floodgate a couple z-level over it, then put a drawbridge in the middle level to throw the dwarves in.

First time I filled the room I overflew the whole level (as I forgot to conveniently put a floodgate in the room with the drawbridge, in case I forgot to retract it). Had to wait 'till the water dried up.

Second time, I forgot to retract the drawbridge (which was designed as a burrow for the fishers). Re-flooded level + scampering dwarves

Third time, I noticed that the swimming pool had upward slopes, which meant that those funny dwarves ran away as soon as they touched water! It won't kill you, I managed it that way!

I then got the hang of those miracolous things that are Screwpumps. Now I only need to find a way to empty out the by-product water room (ie, the room I use when I need to empty the swimming pool for some reason). Which means another overly complex project which could actually be easily done another way, but I'm still mastering my Overseer skills.

P.S.: Fourth time I flooded the room, and threw some fisherdwarves in for swimming, I notice one of them was female and carrying a baby. She kept looking for it, until she gave up, and started tantruming in my whole fort. .<

[Splint]

Goblin snatcher is spotted! And failed his mission horribly. Why you ask? Well you aren't supposed the stab the kid in the face and knock the body four z-levels onto the icy ice below. Good job idiot. 

On the plus side, the kid was only 2 (though sadly he was a locally born dwarf) so that's one less useless booze guzzler. Honestly I don't think kids should be allowed to drink booze until they can become proper peasents.

[Cheesoburgor]

Goblin snatcher is spotted! And failed his mission horribly. Why you ask? Well you aren't supposed the stab the kid in the face and knock the body four z-levels onto the icy ice below. Good job idiot. 

On the plus side, the kid was only 2 (though sadly he was a locally born dwarf) so that's one less useless booze guzzler. Honestly I don't think kids should be allowed to drink booze until they can become proper peasants.

and how do you think dwarves keep their bodies functioning without alcohol?

[Splint]

With water like they've been forced to live on for the last 6 years between caravans.

[Lolfail0009]

Sheer force of stupidity.

[Splint]

It doesn't help these idiots seem insistant on eating all the plants instead of the hundreds of busicuts, roasts and stews we have. Fuckin' elves.

[Ki11aGhost]

I know that feel bro. In my current fortress I have several dwarves that like Plump Helmet Spawn, Sweet Pod Seeds, etc, and rarely ever eat anything else. It's really a bitch in a mostly farming-based fortress.

[Splint]

It's gotten so bad I have to live off booze IMPORTS. And no large caravans have shown up in nearly a year and what booze we did manage to make got sucked down in less than two weeks. Plus I'm still working out the irrigation thing...

You'd think they'd eat the prepared meals we have nearly 3k of, but noooooooooo "HUR DURRR WE GON' EAT ALL DA BREWBLES."

A goblin kidnapper messed up the kidnapper part of his job description: Stabbed the kid in the face and pussed him off a sheer 4-z drop. Good job idiot.

[Rockphed]

It's gotten so bad I have to live off booze IMPORTS. And no large caravans have shown up in nearly a year and what booze we did manage to make got sucked down in less than two weeks. Plus I'm still working out the irrigation thing...

You'd think they'd eat the prepared meals we have nearly 3k of, but noooooooooo "HUR DURRR WE GON' EAT ALL DA BREWBLES."

A goblin kidnapper messed up the kidnapper part of his job description: Stabbed the kid in the face and pussed him off a sheer 4-z drop. Good job idiot.

Please tell me you don't have plants being cookable.

[Splint]

Nope. they just fucking ate them all.

[Berossus]

I just spent an hour figuring out why the dwarven traders werent leaving...
They came in with their wagons, so the bridge is ok, the hallway is 3 tiles at every turn, why arent they leaving? Dear god, theyre going to starve, the king will sue me, he will have me strung up on that tree... in front of my gates... that wasnt there when they came... /facepalm.