Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[misko27]

New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus. 

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?

Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."

[Corai]

New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus. 

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?

Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."

Make a church to Armok. And trap Urist McJesus in there.

[Mageziya]

New fort on a world that lost three adventurers in half an hour (long {not really} story).

Building a moat, la-dee-da...

Metalsmith swims through the river-fed moat and emerges on a one-square island that does not exist. My Metalsmith is standing on 7/7 water, with nothing under him, even on the next z-layer.

My metalsmith is officially Urist McJesus. 

Ummm, how is that a face-palm?

Overseer:"Yo, Urist, stop preaching Gospel and get back to work!"
McJesus:"But I must preach the word of God!, and I'm kinda stuck here..."

Make a church to Armok. And trap Urist McJesus in there.

Make sure to have him drink Armo's gift (The blood of a Vampire.) so that he may bring eternal shedding of Armok's favorite liquid. Also, don't forget Armok's second favorite liquid as decorations!

[gbrngfol]

My funniest facepalm moment has to be when I built a protective wall around my entrance. The dwarves had no access to the embark wagon so they all starved to death while I tried to figure out why they were hunting bats.

[Langolier]

Well, yet another moment for me this evening. I finally managed to unintentionally cause a cave-in that was so large it crashed my game. I see "Urist Mcschmuck has been crushed in a cavein" followed roughly two seconds later by "Dwarf fortress.exe has stopped running". The cave-in was over my central dining hall, of course. Had to restart 3 times but it finally started working again. It's what I get for having a crappy little netbook. Amazingly only had one casualty. (But nobody cared about him so it's ok)

[Hommik]

I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.

[Scruffy]

Not really a facepalm but a nasty chain of events:
(I'm playing masterworks btw)
I was running a nice and prosperous 50 dwarf fort and started digging a candy cane. I got careless since it was already the third I popped open in that embark and somehow managed to accidently digg an up/down stairway instead of an up stairway. Horrifying screams come from the darkness below  The miner was one of my strongest militia members offduty and one of the initial seven (his groin was found three levels lower than the rest of his body)
So, I did what every dwarf would do and ordered the little boozelings to pull the lever and seal the place. Yet, nothing seemed to happen. Where was everyone? Yep, my preacher noble had caught the plague and spread it to almost everyone in the fort. 40 out of 50 dwarves were laying in the hospital floor suffereing from fever and praying for armok Suddenly, A vile force of darkness has arrived!Luckily only war elephants. Finally I managed to get someone to seal the clowns behind the second airlock after but lost the forges. I was too late in sealing the main gate so got around 20 war elephants, elephant champions and war white widows in my fort. I had lost around 20 out of 50 dwarves by this point. (only 20 ) so naturally the mountain homes decided to "send in more peasants!" who kept the siegers busy for a monent while I managed to get my militia together and group up near the depot except for one suicidal crossbow dwarf refused to retreat and held back the whole siege in melee combat while the rest killed them from a distance. Quite a miracle that he survived the elephants but died soon after.

[Blackadder]

I love it when they send decoys for the siege. That makes life so much easier. I'm still perfecting my high-speed cheesemaker/beekeeper launching system to be used for entertainment defensive purposes.

[Mageziya]

I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.

This tends to happen. The first two migrant waves are tiny (And guaranteed.), procuring dwarves out of thin air. THEN the third migrant wave looks at you wealth, how much you traded with the caravan, and so on to determine how many migrants to give you from historical figures. You can modify the population cap as you go along to control the waves, but if you don't, expect 50+ dwarf migrant waves late game.

[Blackadder]

I'm really new to this game but had my first face palm moment. I was preparing for migrant wave (usually seems to be 3-8 dwarves or so) and made some extra bedrooms and places for them to settle. And they did arrive. Few of them... little more than I expected. This was the third migrant wave and it had 36 DWARVES plus some animals... that is 2 times the amount  of dwarves I had at that time. Shocked me like hell.

This tends to happen. The first two migrant waves are tiny (And guaranteed.), procuring dwarves out of thin air. THEN the third migrant wave looks at you wealth, how much you traded with the caravan, and so on to determine how many migrants to give you from historical figures. You can modify the population cap as you go along to control the waves, but if you don't, expect 50+ dwarf migrant waves late game.

It would be amazing if one could set the population cap from the orders menu, and perhaps set immigration to dwarves with certain skills only, via a noble. Kind of like a dwarven immigration bureau.

... Then again I already have an immigration bureau at my fort. It's an equal-opportunity employer as well. We hire both alligators and giant cave spiders for our peasant disposal pits.

[Neekerbreeker]

Me, about five minutes ago:  "Why is this guy so bothered by 'terrible vermin' lately?  He only hates guinea pigs, and we don't have any guinea pigs."

. . . as I scrolled through the Units screen, with Cavy Boar and Cavy Sow  Cavy Pup listed hundreds of times.  Turns out I was thinking Peccary rather than Cavy.

 

[Blackadder]

I had a standard facepalm the other day. I had a great fort going with over 70 dwarves, when I decided to carefully dig down to the adamantine layer, because I didn't have any weapons grade metals available, and needed a military. I had a volcano fort, and a particular dwarf was causing trouble at the time, so I changed his profession nickname to "Sacrifice," built a bridge over the peak of the volcano, and dumped him in, immediately revealing the adamantine deposits at the bottom of the map. (It was also fun to use the new "follow" function to observe his plummet.)

I dug an extremely long winding stair from the very top of the map to the bottom, avoiding all of the caverns, and the very FIRST adamantine block I dug up immediately opened up a passage. So I lock in my two miners using the emergency bridge I set up beforehand, and watch as all of the demons pour in from below. In an all-too-dramatic scene where my last miner runs out of the staircase, I imagined him banging his fist against the raised bridge as the demons flood in and tear him apart. I then begin building an emergency atom-smasher to release the demons and kill all of them at once, and in the middle of this, a gremlin pulls the lever for me, releasing all of the demons into the fortress.

At this point I just sat back and watched the explosions. It was all very dynamic, almost like the demons were putting on a fireworks show.

[Drazinononda]

Lost my most recent fort to a Magma Crab (I am not good at magma-ing) and decided for my next fort I'd embark on a volcano with some hematite to get my military suited up early. So I'm Preparing Carefully and decide not to bring anything but a pick, food and drinks, cloth goods, some turkeys and all the ore and flux I can fit after that. Took out all the wooden items because the volcano is on a wooded area and I'm thinking I'll just make a training axe from the cart and all will be well.

(The fort was named "Halearmor," and at the time it seemed like a good omen.)

E get to the embark and notice an oddity in the starting configuration. My initial view is one level above the top of the magma tube, and near the middle I see three down ramps and several creatures cycling through on the one ground tile at the top of them. [k] on them, and guess what? All of my dwarves, pack animals, hens, dogs, carefully culled equipment... all sitting on the one tile. No wagon in sight.

[DFHack]# die

[sabre909]

 Well im still rather new but enjoying this game alot. Heres one of my quickest games... Embarked in a temperate forested area. I looked around oh look snow cool as i saw my dwarves around the wagon. Short distance away i saw some green grass ill dig down there. Digging away happily designating out some rooms i have soundsense going lalala... then i hear it..... Creeeaaaak CRASH blub blub im like WTH !?!?! I go above ground to my....wagon to see the snow had melted and my geniuses had set the wagon over a frozen lake which the ice had given way and now all my embarked good were at the bottom of a depth 7 lake......

[untakenusername]

Back before I managed to figure out how to properly train and equip a military, a particular berserk yak cow from a trade caravan locked inside my gates decided to go right the the center of my fortress to the main (and only) set of stairwells. I created several squads out of my civilian population and had them attack, it almost immediately went unconscious but didn't manage to die. Due to it's location and berserk nature all my dwarves were cut off from the central food and booze stockpiles. After months of being beaten by dozens of dwarfs the (unconscious!) yak cow still didn't die and my entire fortress died of dehydration and starvation.

tl;dr- an unconscious cow killed my entire fortress.