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[EvilBob22]

Another method is to pause, hide their equipment (b - d - h on the cages), and then dump the objects marked as hidden from the z -> stocks screen.  That way they still have their armor and last a little longer when the military practices on them.  Although, in this case you may want to remove this one's armor too...

Just make sure to unhide the cages afterwards (b - d - H).

[Joben]

The way I do it is set mass dump and mass forbid on the full cages D-B-D and D-B-F.
Then go into the stocks screen. Everything that is marked both Forbid and Dump is something the imprisoned creatures are holding. Turn off Forbid from there on anything you want your dwarves to take away. Also unforbid and un-dump flag the cages. Then unpause.

I've never actually seen a dorf dump the cage leaving the critter but better safe than sorry. I have had them take a cage to be melted releasing the critter. (I have no tin on map so i melt imported tin cages that come my way)

[Mura]

Half of my dwarfs are children. Half.

I'd start slaughtering immigrants if I didn't need the workforce.

[Seraphim342]

Half of my dwarfs are children. Half.

I'd start slaughtering immigrants if I didn't need the workforce.

Use dwarven contraception.  AKA cover your kids in magma. 

[Drazinononda]

Facepalm moment: caused a tantrum spiral by forgetting to make new clothing after destroying all the tattered items. What ended the fort, though, was digging into the circus through a completely undefended hallway. Ten minutes later (at about 20 fps, mind) it was all over.

[Aviator CJ]

Facepalm moment: caused a tantrum spiral by forgetting to make new clothing after destroying all the tattered items. What ended the fort, though, was digging into the circus through a completely undefended hallway. Ten minutes later (at about 20 fps, mind) it was all over.

I'm having a similar visit of the clowns as I type, though I did make an interesting discovery - my fire-breathing clowns can throw webs, which are not fireproof - so I have a bunch of !!web!!s around my fort. Just picturing fire-webs has made my day.

[donfuan]

Giving my marksdorf recruits some aiming practice a kitten somehow got into the fight:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Stray Kitten bites The Troll in the head, tearing the skin and bruising the muscle!
The Stray Kitten latches on firmly!
The Stray Kitten shakes The Troll around by the head!
The Stray Kitten scratches The Troll in the head, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The Stray Kitten scratches The Troll in the head, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The Stray Kitten bites The Troll in the head, bruising the muscle through the ({large giant cave spider silk cap})!
The Stray Kitten latches on firmly to The Troll's throat!
The Stray Kitten shakes The Troll around by the throat, tearing apart the throat's hair!

Not bad. Not bad at all!

[RavenZ]

I'm mooded by some steampunk these days so i want to make all my mechanics, gears, pipes and what not of brass... After burning through all logs makeing charcoal and burning through ores i ve got lotsa brass bars. Im now in "corner" - no mature trees on map (4:4 embark square, mostly mountains only one square of woodland), no wood logs for beds for nasty 30-ish migration wave... Food and drinks also vanished, farms yelding only few plumps - no sweet pods this season (winter) And i dont know what to do now... Damn steampunk...

Oh btw, what and where to change so i can make brass mechanisms? I  really really want brass mechanisms... For my brass cage traps and weapon traps

[crazysheep]

Oh btw, what and where to change so i can make brass mechanisms? I  really really want brass mechanisms... For my brass cage traps and weapon traps

Well.. you can't, unless you feel like doing a bit of modding to add brass mechanisms into your game. Ordinarily only weapon-grade metals and alloys can be used for making mechanisms.

[brainfreez]

in my first fort , i was still learning to play so i had no well . when the winter came the river froze , in spring all of my dwarves were dehydrated and when the river unfroze all of my dwarves were running to the river to drink , then i saw one of my dwarves (Urist McThirsty) running to the other side of the river (the region that belongs to crocodiles)
, when the urist stopped to drink water , a crocodile attacked her and she fell in the water with her baby .
while the crocodile was chewing the baby the urist died of dehydration ..... while drowning in a river . -_-

[Urist_McDrowner]

Urist McStupidPlayer: "Wait! That forgotten beast is in the cavern! I have all these gobbo prisoners! LET'S DUMP THEM IN THE CAVERN"

*dumps gobbos in cavern*

Urist McForgotten Beast "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp."

*Goblins run to edge of map and disappear, only losing 5 to fall damage from being dropped 6 Z levels.


Urist McStupidPlayer: 0_0


"A vile force of darkness has arrived!"

Urist McStupidPlayerr: "Meh, they tried that last time, it was just 10 guys who got wasted in my cage trap"

*Looks at unit list*

*Four squads, all mounted, with four elite gobbos*

Urist McStupidPlayer: *reaction*

[Mura]

Urist McFarmer is trying to put food items in a certain barrel. Urist McFisherdwarf is trying to eat out of said barrel while doing Tarn knows what.

Cue McFarmer chasing McFisherdwarf all along the riverbank while the latter slurps plump helmets and strawberries out of a keg, and the former keeps trying to stuff plump helmets and strawberries back in.

[Henrik Undrgrim]

Had a vampire killing off Urists in the sleeping quarters. The third time I caught a break and a wit was found, the wife of the victim.After the standard interview scene with consoling but inquisitive policedorfs Urist McWidow tells the whole story and points towards the perp with the usual shock reveal because he's a family dorf with four kids.The justice system let her down though because the police used brutal tactics to illict a confession from Urist McPerp and he got off on a technicality but required hospitalisation for his wounds.(forgot to designate the cage as a jail and he got a beating instead)He did the world a favour and died from dehydration though so it seemed he got his........except vampires don't die from thirst

Turns out the wife invited him over.She needed a patsy for the murders.Her husband had found out about her and she killed him to keep him quiet then called over Urist McInnocent and drugged him before smearing blood on him and then started screaming.Would have got away with it too if the drugs had'nt turned up in his toxicology report (I read on dwarf fortress wiki that vampires will try to confuse the issue by blaming someone else).You could say the clue  was in the blood.

[doublestrafe]

Meet Besmar "Toledo" Zesugil. I've been training him for a long time, and gone through a whole lot of metal. He's a Legendary +4 Weaponsmith, with 28,424 out of 29,000 for Legendary +5. Just a tiny bit more to go and he'll finally be ready for the candy!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...really? Now?

Edit: Double facepalm time.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"This is a adamantine crossbow. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of adamantine."

[Lolfail0009]

And that is how you dorf.    
Not as bad as the Nethercap war hammer of Angelbane...