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[backora900]

UGH. Facepalm/ wanna slap the dwarf.
My suicidal expert miner pulls a lever to a gate close by to close the cavern off.
After pulling it to close the gate, he immediately trundles toward and onto the gate and crushes himself in the tiny space where the gate opens. -facepalm- Freaking idiot... There should be a way to slap your dwarves like the creatures in dungeon keeper.

It looks like the gate (bridge?) did all the slapping for you.

[Seraphim342]

Had a good one this morning.  I was starting to lag pretty badly, and part of it I chocked up to all the useless crap I'd been accumulating.  I'd captured, disarmed and disposed of several hundred goblins, so I had plenty of goblinite for iron, silver warhammers, etc... but also several thousand pieces of rotted clothing all over my fort, because my dwarves just loved picking it up, wearing it for a week, dropping it and grabbing another, rinse repeat, etc.  Also had about 50x50 worth of refuse piles because my strategy of "release 120 war dogs on an ambush full of sword and marksgoblins" resulted in very few dead goblins and almost a thousand dog pieces flying everywhere.  So I decided to get rid of it all in true dwarf fashion with an atom smasher. 

All went well, built a little 4x4 bridge and linked it up to a lever a few squares to the north of it.  Put all my refuse and rotten clothes onto it, everybody's happy.  Took special care to make sure nobody would try to haul something onto the pile at the last second, all precautions taken.  Then I noticed that I hadn't raised the bridge beforehand.  Didn't think it would be a problem.  Oh, how wrong I was. 

Pulled the lever and my entire courtyard was blanketed by a shotgun blast of socks, bones, goblin corpses, and other objects.  I just looked at the screen stunned, mouth literally agape, for about 10 seconds before I burst out laughing so hard it hurt. The dwarf who'd pulled the lever (An expert fish dissector, oh no) more or less ceased to exist.  There was a massive smear of blood and gore that stretched out in a cone about 8 tiles long and 10 wide.  I checked the report and he'd been hit with about a dozen different things, breaking bones, even severing a few limbs before having his brain bashed in by a XXLarge Llama Wool SockXX.  Other than him, casualties were light.  One legendary miner got his arm fractured over a dozen tiles away, but that healed up fine.  The rest of the casualties were about 6 war lions I'd just trained either killed or maimed.  One got decapitated by a flying birchen war axe from 10 tiles away, which amused me.  Blood for the Blood God.

After that it was just a matter of re-dumping it all back onto the pile and this time DROPPING the bridge onto it.  Every once in a while I'll find a sock or bolt or something that I missed, sometimes multiple z-levels away, such as on top of a tower.  I've since built a partial wall around the atom smasher to prevent further incidents... and have begun designing ways to militarize it to splatter massive amounts of gobbos.  I noticed that bolts and arrows behaved as if they'd been fired, including some breaking on impact, so this could be a useful way to get rid of the crappy arrows gobbos drop now that my military's using all silver/steel bolts.  Results to follow ;p

[Mageziya]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=114053.0
This thread is working on the weaponization of atom smashers.

[Kelner]

In a mature (>6 year old) fort I had regular FB intrusions from caverns. My militia was dispatching each and every one easily. After a time I got used to just selecting one or two squads of  rooks, picking the from the list, hitting ENTER and getting back to other jobs. When another came I did the same, throwing  and got back to completing my magma piston and fixing a nasty leak from obsidian caster. Then I got a purple message saying "Urist McBaddass, Killdwarf has been struck down" (Killdwarf is a title I give to legendary soldiers to recognize them, when they are off-duty and idling).

Seconds later three more dwarves die. Turns out this FB is a prase opal spider. It shoots web and is nearly invulnerable. I've ordered all my militia, sans one most experienced squad destined to make the last stand, to attack. Fortunately I've managed to swarm the beast with dwarves and war dogs so it couldn't attack too often, but still my dwarves were slowly but surely slaughtered. All attacks either glanced off or merely chipped it. 30 battle report pages later and 2 squads annihilated I was beginning to wonder whether to seal off the caverns (and with the most of my military and many civilians that happily ran to get their dead comrades' stuff) or fight till the bitter end and see my fortress consumed by the great spider. Most of my soldiers laid covered at the mercy of  in webs and the dogs that managed to subdue the beast for a short while were dying quickly.

Then came the Saviour. A bowyer drafted into militia to replace losses after last goblin siege. He killed one goblin in his life but that's it. He shot a bolt, hitting the creature in one of it's numerous legs, and was on his way to join his friends in death. With the rest of his strength he managed to load the crossbow once more and shot. The bolt hit the beast in the abdomen and, Amrok be praised, severed it neatly from upped body. He did what about 10 legendary warriors tried and failed. 30 dwarves have died but he saved the remaining 180. I am building him rooms made of gold and filled with platinum furniture. He deserved it.

[Seraphim342]

Ugh... just had another one.  Elven caravan came, so I ordered all my remaining useless trash to the depot (old socks, etc) and traded all the wood they had.  Then when I get down to cages I see... a breeding pair of Giant Tigers.  Dirt cheap, too, cost much less than even big food animals.  Bug?  Anyway, I quickly tossed all the rest of my crap into the trade  looking to get rid of it (cups, bowls, etc.  my Baroness has this annoying habit of mandating huge amounts of stone figurines and banning their export, so I have tons of random other crafts laying around).  Had a minor graphical bug which made parts of text unreadable, but I didn't make any trade items out of wood so I wasn't worried. 

I hit trade and "yadda yadda beautiful tree dwarves suck bye"

Turns out I'd accidentally tossed in ONE alder scepter that had dropped off the last elven caravan that got killed by gobbos on the way out.  I didn't have a military yet on this fortress or I would have killed them for the tigers, as all I had for war animals were dogs and regular lions, but as they were leaving an ambush started.  I got excited, watched the elves getting slaughtered and just waiting to go loot those tiger cages... when the elf carrying the cages got knocked into a river by a goblin hammerman.  Double facepalm.

[Gentlefish]

Well, you can still salvage the cages.  Just build a dam.

[misko27]

Note: A squad of uneqipped conscripts can defeat elves, but not their pack animals. Also, you can seize things from traders on the trading screen.

[Seraphim342]

I forgot that elves usually don't siege unless you offer them wood repeatedly.  Didn't feel I was ready for an elf siege for 2 animals... as far as damming the river goes, every time I've tried that in the past it's resulted in massive amounts of fun. 

[ptb_ptb]

Trading with Elves.

http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/5724/elf1.png
(Once a beautiful tree ...)

Wait, what?

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/9849/elf2k.png
(... decorated with well-crafted cedar and encircled with bands of mango wood ...)

D'oh!

[brainfreez]

i just killed a duck in adventure mode and its corpse fell on me tearing my lower spine nervous tissue .

[Splint]

i just killed a duck in adventure mode and its corpse fell on me tearing my lower spine nervous tissue .

I have to question DF and the laws of physoics. As even by DF standards things like this are rediculous.


But damn are they funny to imagine.

[misko27]

I forgot that elves usually don't siege unless you offer them wood repeatedly.  Didn't feel I was ready for an elf siege for 2 animals... as far as damming the river goes, every time I've tried that in the past it's resulted in massive amounts of fun.

There are rules about this. Just wall it of from the z-level of source. If not in freezing biome, try caving in a wall right in front of where you want it.

[brainfreez]

i killed a merchant and then i picked up a bin full of crap , i was thinking to throw it at another merchant because it is so heavy and my speed dropped to 198 , then about 30 merchants and 20 animals swarmed on me , i had to wait minute until my turn . surprisingly i had only my foot injured , but it was enough to give into pain .

[ZestDwarf]

So I decided to get rid of it all in true dwarf fashion with an atom smasher. 

I've discovered the true dwarven fashion of disposing of refuse in my most recent fort. Refuse stockpiles in a moat. Every time it fills up i flood it with lava and incinerate all the trash. It also serves as a bad ass moat under my entrance gate. Either filled with the bodies of enemies or molten hot lava.

[Sutremaine]

I just realised my civilian uniform contains leather armour and not leather armour.

...That is, (material: leather) armour and not (material: unspecified) leather armour. So now they're set to wear leather leather armour and have stopped doing Dungeon Master impressions. I'm hoping this stops them from scattering their waterskins all over the place as well -- at one point, almost half of them were lying forbidden on the floor.