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[Hanslanda]

Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree. 

[Cheesoburgor]

Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree. 

Hanslanda meet Arzcor the adamantine cloth sock All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. Is is decorated with adamantine cloth and elf bone. This object menaces with spikes of giant cave spider chitin, Native gold and Tower-cap. On the item is an image of socks in Phyllite. On the item is an image of Urist Leaderhammer the dwarf and dwarves in adamantine cloth. Urist Leaderhammer is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Urist Leaderhammer to leadership of The Boats of Swallowing in 98. On the item is an image of Mosus Autumnstockade the forgotten beast in Phyllite.

[Hanslanda]

That is the most dwarven sock in all of existence.

[ZestDwarf]

This is either a bug or a really annoying facepalm, any opinions would be helpful.
So im diddlin around in my fort after the king arrives, and i suddenly notice in my nobles screen that my king has become the mayor. Well that was weird, but i ignored it because the king DID have high social skills.
The facepalm is that i went to look at my count, and checked his mood, only to see "Is upset by a lessers pretentious arrangements"
*facepalm* he is pissed that the MAYOR has better rooms than he does, but the mayor is the FREAKIN KING.
I Tried to find the bug on the bug website but was unsuccessful.
This is going to end in tantrums. it always ends in tantrums.

[Hanslanda]

Hehe. That's not a bug, it's a feature.

[TheDJ17]

Apparently my fort's river freezes for one week out of the year allowing a group of ogres to cross my moat and rampage throughout my fort

Also one of the ogres turned into a siege operator from the killing, I'm not even sure how that works.

[Gentlefish]

This is either a bug or a really annoying facepalm, any opinions would be helpful.
So im diddlin around in my fort after the king arrives, and i suddenly notice in my nobles screen that my king has become the mayor. Well that was weird, but i ignored it because the king DID have high social skills.
The facepalm is that i went to look at my count, and checked his mood, only to see "Is upset by a lessers pretentious arrangements"
*facepalm* he is pissed that the MAYOR has better rooms than he does, but the mayor is the FREAKIN KING.
I Tried to find the bug on the bug website but was unsuccessful.
This is going to end in tantrums. it always ends in tantrums.

Workaround: magma. Magma fixes everything.

[Joben]

Today's facepalm. My mayor is a vampire. She's now in prison for a double child-murder. She's currently conducting a meeting with the outpost liaison from inside her cell.

[Splint]

genned a world looking for a perpetually snow covered foresty shithole. Evidently, gold and trees don't mix with this particluar parameter set but keas stealing expensive jaguar leather armor does.

[krenshala]

New fortress, trying some new things (don't bring tools, bring material to forge tools!) and ran into a serious facepalm moment or three.

FACE PALM #1) Founding Seven member Urist McDoctor-Smith is the first dwarf to mood, at exactly 20 dwarves in the fortress.  He grabs a tin bar ... instead of all the bizmith bronze bars the tin was supposed to help make.  I momentarily considered forbidding that bar so he'd fetch something else, but decided it might add more xfunx than I really wanted.

FACE PALM #2) Urist McDoctor-Smith is also demanding rough gems, but I haven't gotten through the two layer aquifer yet.  Of course, this shouldn't be a problem as I have wood and bone craft items ready to sell to the first caravan, which is unloading at the Depot just after he starts his mood.  Of course, the broken decides he needs to audit all the books at that point, and I didn't notice until it was too late, and the caravan starts packing to leave.  D'oh; I goofed that one!

FACE PALM #3) So, a few months go by, and I get my second moody dwarf -- my other smith, a new migrant that was better than the (now dead from melancholy) former Chief Medical Smith.  Sweet! Maybe I'll get some armor!  ** Urist McArmorsmith is demaning copper bars (*sigh*, haven't finish converting to bismith bronze yet, but check) and cut gems (FSCK! Still haven't gotten through the aquifer).  She goes stark raving mad about the time the elven caravan arrives.  Figures.

Neither moods were possession, either, so I was stoked at the possibility of either a legendary weapon or armorsmith before the first year was over.

Now I still have to deal with my migrant vampire (that could be a thousand years old, but probably isnt), finish piercing the second layer of the aquifer, find a new doctor and find a new smith.  All before things get more !!fun!! in the fortress.

Why do I think the second year will be more ... entertaining than the first was?

[Mageziya]

Yep, same one. Though not cough up blood precicely, they would suffer total paralysis and suffocate. Some of the more hardy victims would walk around with a dizzy and with a fever for a little while first.

I remember wondering in my first fight with it why it's clothes were blocking so many stabs...I know why now...they were made out of several bins worth of material.

I forgot to mention, her weapon of choice, before i broke her arms, was a goblin bone earring. o_O

Made from the whole goblin?

I lol'd at this.


Facepalm of the day: All the artifacts in my current fortress... Are made of palm. The only useful item is a bucket. Face meet palm. And not the tree. 

Hanslanda meet Arzcor the adamantine cloth sock All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. Is is decorated with adamantine cloth and elf bone. This object menaces with spikes of giant cave spider chitin, Native gold and Tower-cap. On the item is an image of socks in Phyllite. On the item is an image of Urist Leaderhammer the dwarf and dwarves in adamantine cloth. Urist Leaderhammer is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Urist Leaderhammer to leadership of The Boats of Swallowing in 98. On the item is an image of Mosus Autumnstockade the forgotten beast in Phyllite.

A dwarf WILL DIE for that sock during a siege. Only this time, it's justified.

[Sidhien]

First non-fatal serious injury in the fort is, unsurprisingly, the doctor.

[Sutremaine]

Heh. Just make everybody the doctor, patients get seen and treated much quicker in the long run. It's like the difference between 'only broker trades' and 'everybody trades', except the only thing an unskilled doctor loses is speed.

[Mageziya]

Sorta a Facepalm for Kobolds.

The only time when Kobolds come to my fort....is when the trade caravans arrive. Almost immediately after the "A [Race] Caravan from [civ] has arrived!" message play I almost always get the ''THIEF" alert. Good luck trying to penetrate a fortress that has a heavily armed caravan clogging the entrance. However they are smart enough to run.

[PainRack]

I had a lizard monster diplomat that spread some sort of disease or poison (fever/numbness --> paralysis/death) trapped in a small corridor. Diplomat or not it killed 20% of my fort without bloodying a claw. I think i posted about it a page or two back.

I'd made a pit zone above it and occasionally tossed it disarmed goblin prisoners to dispose of. Well I hadn't for a while so i qued up a bunch of them and turned my attention to something else. Without thinking about it I'd also tossed a pair of trolls into it's little corridor. And they broke down the doors.

facepalm one

Then it proceeded to wander around my fortress for a while. I assembled the military and when things started spontaneously suffocating again I gave the attack command.

My soldiers attack, but the massive pack of wardogs i've been breeding for years don't join in. They just frolic around watching the mayhem. The tame grey languars, which normally love helping the dogs tear things to pieces don't help either.

facepalm 2

The fight raged all around the fort, my soldiers getting exausted, and very slowly disabled or killed. Because it doesn't seem to actually want to fight much, but the occasional counterstrike or attack would take an arm off a dwarf. The fighting lasted for weeks and weeks. Long enough that the wounds I put on it started scarring up DURING THE FIGHT. It was too big for most attacks to go deeper than fat. (including crossbow bolts)

facepalm 3

Slowly it's injuries pile up, including but not limited to broken limbs, cracked skull and spine broken in two paces. But it's still outpacing, dodging, and occasionally kiling my dwarves... HOW?

facepalm 4

I eventually conscripted some peasants and gave them iron spears hoping one would get lucky and pierce something vital in the body. One actually hit it in the head but it only tore a tendon.

facepalm 5

So...I gave up and called back the troops. It didn't seem to care one way or the other and went back to wandering the halls bringing suffocating death to everyone.

facepalm 6

Then got down to business and its now having a nice chat with my baroness in her blood splattered office while the fort tantrums around them and the dying litter the halls.

Were there any hammerers? My hammer squad once fought a gila monster and thanks to it, my military were able to get past the imba armour bonus and knocked it unconscious. We then spent months whacking at it with every single portable weapon until it finally died......