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[weenog]

Bestra the Dragon invades. Bestra is captured in the cage trap. Cage is stored in the stockpile. ALL animals are selected to be taken to the Pasture.

Bestra is let from his cage and INCINERATES 40 of 65 dorfs INSTANTLY in the great hall.

I can just see this cage with a big "AIM AWAY FROM FACE" sign which is, of course, attached upside-down.

[Lord Snow]

My hospital is slowly being flooded by it's newly constructed well.

Breached caverns, build walls and a door around the entrance.
3 troglodytes came and beat up a couple of my dwarves. 2 dead, 4 wounded... maybe i'll remember to lock the door to the caverns next time x.X

[Snaake]

My hospital is slowly being flooded by it's newly constructed well.

Breached caverns, build walls and a door around the entrance.
3 troglodytes came and beat up a couple of my dwarves. 2 dead, 4 wounded... maybe i'll remember to lock the door to the caverns next time x.X

The first cave croc/forgotten beast/whathaveyou will just batter down the door and do worse.

[towerdude]

I thought I would make a floating fortress over the ocean, so I embarked on a very little land, with huge amount of stones. I started to make bricks, and devised a method that was sound with IRL physics.

it looked like this:

ground level

, ,~~
, ,~~
, ,/\O
, ,~~
, ,~~

first level
. .                                                                                                                                                                              XXX
. .                                                                                                                                                                            XOOOX
. .\/++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++XOOOX
. .                                                                                                                                                                            XOOOX
. .                                                                                                                                                                              XXX

The 3x3 tower was 8 z-levels tall, and the ocean below was 5 z-levels deep. I thought if I deconsruct the closest floor to the land, the tower would fall into the sea and provide a safe passage to the ocean floor.

However it only vaporized in mid air, and all the precious stone have fallen to the ocean floor as raw material.

[IIzTrollin]

adventure mode, complete first quest killing a guy. went back to town turned it in was heading to the capitol when i was attacked by alligators... they ripped my party to shreds literally. i cried my self to sleep that night >.<

[Logen910]

had an epic dwarf soldier killing whole populations chuck norris style. died because the world suddenly exploded. first i thought it was because of his awesomeness and that the world simply couldn't stand it anymore but later i red in the forums it was caused by a bug. somehow the floor collapsed. at least it was an epic dead. i am sure he is killing demons in hell now.

[Aletea]

I had a kitten dust thrall manage to get into my fortress, and promptly I set a squad of soldiers on it - they made for the kitten, but only a couple of soldiers actually made it over to it. The kitten was a square away from the top of my stairs, and had managed to be surrounded. Somehow, I wound up with that hallway completely filled with non-combatants, everyone was bashing at the kitten with their feet and fists.

Due to the kittens proximity to the stairs, none of my civilians on other levels would use the stairs at all - meaning everyone was trapped on whatever level they had been on before the kitten arrived. And since the only way to kill a dust thrall is through beheading, it was essentially immortal since none of my dwarves with bladed weapons could reach it.

Thus, a single kitten managed to completely stall my entire fortress.

[IIzTrollin]

not loading out with quivers for hunting O_o

[Dustylou2]

In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

[weenog]

In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

[Hanslanda]

In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

Aaand there's the weaponization. Shouldn't we just start naming every thread, "How do I weaponize..." at this point? Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

[jasonwill2]

In my latest 34.11 fort, I decided to set up a Dwarven Atom Smasher to get rid of a ton of excess stone (having 150 undead outside because of a Necromancer doesn't do good things to your FPS, especially on an older computer). However, I couldn't build a bridge over my quantum stockpile because the items were in the way, so I came up with a 'cunning' plan: build the bridge below, then channel a hole in the square with the thousands of stones. Somehow, that part worked without killing anyone (it was right next to the main junction of the bedrooms). The Fun happened when I activated the lever: all of the stones got flung back up the hole, crippling three dwarves, and one of my legendary miners got turned into a smear on the ceiling. Oops.

With some refinement, that sounds like an automated catapult shotgun trap waiting to happen.

Aaand there's the weaponization. Shouldn't we just start naming every thread, "How do I weaponize..." at this point? Because eventually all derails lead to the Weaponization Station.

I suppose this is inevitable.

[WillowLuman]

Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.

[misko27]

Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.

If I could do this to my teachers, I'd be a mass-murderer. I think thats what the nobles are trying to do, weaponize our sheer iritation at them. Or maybe the elves. Or the dwarves, or the, hey wait a moment, everyones weaponizing this but us!

[WillowLuman]

Well, if we could think of a mechanism to induce facepalm in others, and increase the velocity, we could make them smash their own foreheads in with their hands.

If I could do this to my teachers, I'd be a mass-murderer. I think thats what the nobles are trying to do, weaponize our sheer iritation at them. Or maybe the elves. Or the dwarves, or the, hey wait a moment, everyones weaponizing this but us!

Facepalms themselves must be weaponized!

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