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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2137237 times)

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6405 on: June 04, 2012, 12:18:31 am »

That wasn't exactly what I meant, but it is very much so dwarven.
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Sus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6406 on: June 04, 2012, 12:38:43 pm »

Welp.

Turns out ordering your militia to kill a werebeast from your own population results in ‼Fun‼ for all.  :-[

I may have to set up something like the original Spearbreakers "hospital" (a.k.a. passive euthanasia camp) for werebeast victims...
« Last Edit: June 04, 2012, 12:44:42 pm by Sus »
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

TerringtonSnyde

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6407 on: June 05, 2012, 05:56:02 am »

I had embarked on a volcano for easy magma access, got the fort up and running and churning out valuables in a relatively short time. Then I got greedy, wanted to produce even more good because zomgwealth! and set about constructing auxiliary smelters and forges. For that, of course, I needed some magma to construct over. Naively presuming I had the whole pressure thing more or less worked out, I sent my miner to create a channel down into a small reservoir area, and then hack into the side of the magma tube.

First off, the miner was more or less instantly disintegrated. So much for the hasty retreat to safety I had envisioned him undertaking. The magma flowed down into the reservoir... and directly across the single z-level with a ramp which led there, then out the mining access tunnel, and into the fortress proper. I was feverishly working to establish some sort of damage-control on the situation when, quite literally, within 15 seconds of catastrophic magma containment failure, I receive the notification for a vile force of darkness entering the vicinity. Leaning back with a somewhat beleaguered smirk, I thought to myself "Ha! So they're going to try the old double jeopardy situation on me, eh? Fortunately, for once I have constructed a well-defended entrance with drawbridges and numerous lethal traps designed to ensure gratuitous goblin dismemberment!"

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind then I realized with no small amount of horror that I had probably just jinxed my fledgling fort to oblivion. Sure enough, upon closer examination of the goblins' general direction of movement, I discovered that earlier, in a fit of overzealous strip mining, I had left one single diagonal gap near the base of the volcano connected with the outside world, which my ill-intentioned neighbours had every intention of exploiting. I couldn't even send masons down to construct an impromptu perimeter, as they would always balk and return for a drink upon encountering the now-prodigious magma flow.

The goblins infiltrated my fort from the bottom and reduced the population from 80 to about 30. It was a massacre. I could only watch in dumbfounded resignation as the screams and blood and loose body parts began to fill the halls, combined with smoke and flaming madmen running about as every now and then as some unfortunate individual/pet/invader stumbled or was flung into the magma cascading magnificently down the grand central staircase. All the while (and quite coincidentally), while I watched my entire stronghold quite literally go up in flames, I had been listening to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8) a rather haunting piano track I had stumbled upon earlier. It added a certain degree of epic finality to the whole debacle.

I decided at this point I'd better give it up as a bad job all around and try again elsewhere.
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WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6408 on: June 05, 2012, 01:32:06 pm »

*Claps*
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Edmus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6409 on: June 05, 2012, 04:54:30 pm »

Well done sir!
*claps*
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Fallenworldful

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6410 on: June 05, 2012, 06:39:17 pm »

New Newb who stumbled upon this thread and thought it was a good place to begin a (hopefully) long post career.

So... I download and begin playing Dwarf Fortress 0.34.10 after days reading up on how to play and what to do (lazy of me, I know). Everything goes well for about a  year of ingame time...

A section of the Cavern has collapsed! BOOM. Twenty of 23 dwarfs dead due to the entire meeting hall somehow coming down on their heads. I think A dwarf channeled too close, but I never figured out what went wrong. Three wood cutters were outside cutting wood and survived. Ungrateful idiots immediately began a tantrum, killing themselves off.

First !!FUN!!

Successfully beating off multiple Goblin Sieges at this point, with a pop of 145 at this point...

Urist McDwarf (I don't have his name, still trying to find him in legends) cancels job: Mine- Interrupted by Elk Bird. ???

Wait what? Zooming into the area, I find one of my legendary miners is dead, gored by an enraged Elk Bird. It then proceeds to kill my mayor and my broker, as well as two cheesemakers (don't know how the thing did it) I had hauling before a hammerdwarf brought it to its end.

So busy with this, I forget about my magma channeling project going on at the same time. The miner had finally breached the tube and begun diverting it to the pump stack. Where I had left a gap in the wall. Two more dwarfs dead, one on fire and still calmly hauling stuff.

After all that, a grand total of five dead dwarfs and nearly the entire fortress unhappy. No tantrum this time, though.

More !!FUN!!
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tahujdt

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6411 on: June 05, 2012, 07:02:05 pm »

Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
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Kogut

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6412 on: June 06, 2012, 04:16:55 am »

Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
I am not sure  what happened but it was something other than loyalty cascade.
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tahujdt

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6413 on: June 06, 2012, 06:44:55 am »

Loyalty cascade because a cat scratched at a dwarf. Not so bad, except Urist McVictim was a +5 Axedwarf carrying a ☼Spoilerite battle axe☼, who decided to hit back.

/facepalm
I am not sure  what happened but it was something other than loyalty cascade.
Actually, it was. He killed the cat, so another legendary axedwarf killed him, etc. Also, the cat was owned. Maybe that's it?
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Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

CheeseMaker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6414 on: June 06, 2012, 02:19:12 pm »

Make my first fortress in quite some time to celebrate the new version.

What's that? Early megabeast? Ok it killed only 2 dwarfs and then bailed out. Another werebeast? feew good thing I have that cage trap. A ambush! and I have how many dwarfs outside? Damn ok 15 new caskets, it seems it's time to make a danger room and get a potent military going. Done, now for a glass of water

Wait what? What do you mean I used Iron Spears instead of training spears? And how many died trying to get the bodies of the first fallen!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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somebody64

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6415 on: June 07, 2012, 08:07:40 am »

With my last fortress I tried to stop a goblin invasion by luring them in with a non-retracted entrance and some fun cage traps...... they had birds.....
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ghostwoods

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6416 on: June 07, 2012, 12:13:06 pm »

The first fort I managed to get past a year had a square above-ground wall surrounding refuse, wood dumps, the butcher and tanner, cage stockpiles, pasture, &c. As I headed towards 18 months, I'd had a mood or two, and was starting to get twitchy about sieges. I decided I needed urgent battlements, so I put up some stairs, and designated a full set of fortifications on the wall-top. I also set most of my dwarfs to masonry, to get it done quickly. It never occurred to me to put floors there first.

I didn't really understand what the problem was until I'd had about five minutes of constant "Urist cancels bring water" spam. When I looked, sixty dwarfs were stuck around my fort-top, walled in by battlements they'd placed, busily dying of thirst. I tried to get the few remaining dwarves to build rescue floors, but it was too late. The idiots were too far away.

My remaining six or seven dwarves went raving mad, surrounded by the fortification-entombed corpse-walls of their family and friends.
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jasonwill2

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6417 on: June 08, 2012, 01:16:03 am »

I had embarked on a volcano for easy magma access, got the fort up and running and churning out valuables in a relatively short time. Then I got greedy, wanted to produce even more good because zomgwealth! and set about constructing auxiliary smelters and forges. For that, of course, I needed some magma to construct over. Naively presuming I had the whole pressure thing more or less worked out, I sent my miner to create a channel down into a small reservoir area, and then hack into the side of the magma tube.

First off, the miner was more or less instantly disintegrated. So much for the hasty retreat to safety I had envisioned him undertaking. The magma flowed down into the reservoir... and directly across the single z-level with a ramp which led there, then out the mining access tunnel, and into the fortress proper. I was feverishly working to establish some sort of damage-control on the situation when, quite literally, within 15 seconds of catastrophic magma containment failure, I receive the notification for a vile force of darkness entering the vicinity. Leaning back with a somewhat beleaguered smirk, I thought to myself "Ha! So they're going to try the old double jeopardy situation on me, eh? Fortunately, for once I have constructed a well-defended entrance with drawbridges and numerous lethal traps designed to ensure gratuitous goblin dismemberment!"

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind then I realized with no small amount of horror that I had probably just jinxed my fledgling fort to oblivion. Sure enough, upon closer examination of the goblins' general direction of movement, I discovered that earlier, in a fit of overzealous strip mining, I had left one single diagonal gap near the base of the volcano connected with the outside world, which my ill-intentioned neighbours had every intention of exploiting. I couldn't even send masons down to construct an impromptu perimeter, as they would always balk and return for a drink upon encountering the now-prodigious magma flow.

The goblins infiltrated my fort from the bottom and reduced the population from 80 to about 30. It was a massacre. I could only watch in dumbfounded resignation as the screams and blood and loose body parts began to fill the halls, combined with smoke and flaming madmen running about as every now and then as some unfortunate individual/pet/invader stumbled or was flung into the magma cascading magnificently down the grand central staircase. All the while (and quite coincidentally), while I watched my entire stronghold quite literally go up in flames, I had been listening to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeNv8zlzlV8) a rather haunting piano track I had stumbled upon earlier. It added a certain degree of epic finality to the whole debacle.

I decided at this point I'd better give it up as a bad job all around and try again elsewhere.

This... is beyond epic, especially the song added... also hilarious... I wish I could of seen it all!
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Sus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6418 on: June 08, 2012, 07:10:01 am »

So, here I am, on a savanna teeming with lions, dingos and rattlesnakes.
Some quick mason and mechanic action later, my fence-lined1) cage traps have caught...

a fucking mongoose?!

 >:(

1)10x1 walls in every cardinal direction with a 1x1 space with the cage trap in the middle, like so:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Lainers

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6419 on: June 08, 2012, 09:15:21 am »

I just found the best place ever for a new fortress. River, good weather and all... Too bad there was a horde of alligators rampaging the land. Ther are pieces of dwarves around the entire map.
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