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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210372 times)

Auning

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6375 on: May 30, 2012, 01:56:46 am »

Was playing for about 15 minutes, and got excited because my armorer went into a strange mood. Soon enough, "Urdim Uzolekur, Armorer has created Rurkab, a (candy) helm!". YES. "Dwarf Fortress has an encountered an unexpected error." NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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[DESCRIPTION:A horse-like creature susceptible to severed nerves when muscles are torn in limb, grasp and starting length are all the same.]
[BLOOD:LOCAL_CREATURE_MAT:EGG_YOLK:LIQUID]
[PUS:LOCAL_CREATURE:BIRD_ROC]

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6376 on: May 30, 2012, 08:40:40 pm »

Oh, now that is cruel.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6377 on: May 30, 2012, 09:12:08 pm »

Tried to sneak with companions in Adventure mode.

If they run off after a rabbit and drown themselves/ get lost one more time... nevermind, can't do anything worse to them than they do to themselves.
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6378 on: May 30, 2012, 10:25:54 pm »

Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Devling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6379 on: May 30, 2012, 10:33:59 pm »

Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
Yes.
I am going to do that.
Right now.
BRB.

Welcome to Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet Cetele Drillstabbed. He lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

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Meet the first stunt. She lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

Meet the Child. He gives quests in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

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Welcome to the Sculpted Gloomy. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a Koblin Spearman. It lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a river. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a platypus. It lives in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is a platypus guy. It was pinched off in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

That was some fox meat. It was cooked in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is the Wordy forest. It is in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is Or Casketdreamy. He wanted glory and a warriors death in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This is night. Or didn't sleep at night in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I shall slay something, gain a follower, and break his EVERYTHING.

This was Cetele Drillstabbed. He was killed in Thur Gomath, the universe of legends, a pocket dimension where I failed to slay something, but gained a follower, and got broken by his EVERYTHING.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2012, 11:24:05 pm by Devling »
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WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6380 on: May 30, 2012, 10:48:10 pm »

Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
No, because the rabbits beat me to it.
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WL14

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6381 on: May 31, 2012, 01:57:47 am »

I was playing around with squad uniforms, figuring out how to get all my epic combat dwarfs to wear chainmail under their breastplates and leggings under their greaves. I send them out to kill an uninvited guest and they proceed to attack it with their fists and shields. And it starts killing some of them. Then all of them. Apparently uniforms include weapons...
*facepalm*
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Jwph

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6382 on: May 31, 2012, 05:00:35 am »

This just happened to me a few minutes ago.  I was trying out the minecarts by digging out a tunnel, carving tracks along it and I built one track stop and set a dwarf to push a cart down the tunnel if it was empty.  Some hauling dwarf got caught in something of a loop where he'd push the cart down, run down the tunnel and push it back to the stop and push it again.  I assumed the problem was with not having a second stop and sent someone down to build the stop without deleting the route first...

He was rendered unconcious and dropped the boulder, he's now asleep in the hastily-built hospital with a broken hand.
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Scruffy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6383 on: May 31, 2012, 08:37:44 am »

Seems like a player is never experienced enough to avoid making stupid mistakes.

I was filling my cistern from a aquifer around 30z above it. It was my usual type: a big chamber below the fort with a deep pit in the middle of the fortress that serves both as a well and hole for filling it. A while later I noticed that something had gone wrong. It turns out that I had accidently changed the position of the hole one tile north around half way down. This wouldn't have been a problem but it was in the middle of the meeting room, thus flooding it and washing around 20 dwarves down the hole. The first ones to get swept down died from the 10z fall while most of the rest drowned. I managed to save a few survivors.

Which brings me to my second mistake. When I was building the cistern I decided that constructing a floodgate was too much of a hassle, thus I decided to use a forbidden door. This wouldn't have been a problem but when I helped the few survivors escape they left the door open.. I didn't notice this and when I had fixed the well hole I started filling the cistern again.. and flooded every level below it. I flooded my magmaforge, bar/ore stockpiles, mines and minecart ramps along with the miners and a legendary armorsmith (and a bunch of mundane workers) who were in the wrong place the wrong time. I managed to save my secondary living quarters (in the end, the living quarters were 5/7 deep in water but I had a bunch of dwarves and nobles sleeping in their locked rooms.)
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Splint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6384 on: May 31, 2012, 01:01:24 pm »

I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6385 on: May 31, 2012, 11:12:19 pm »

Yes you can. Break every bone and joint in their body, gouge out everything, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, for days. Preferably in a lair. Slowly begin removing various fingers and toes. Continue until they are a limbless, broken and mutilated torso. A LIVING torso. Leave them in that state.

Sometimes, death is a mercy.
No, because the rabbits beat me to it.

Lol, my bad. You are right, they get themselves killed in worse ways than we can.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Corai

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6386 on: May 31, 2012, 11:14:39 pm »

I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-

And we had this entire plan about killing goblins through PMs, :/


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Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Splint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6387 on: May 31, 2012, 11:23:02 pm »

I breached the caverns as humans, hoping to bag cavern beasts for the kingdom of symetries.

Pond grabbers. Nothing but fucking pond grabbers.

-facepalm at having any kind of expectations.-

And we had this entire plan about killing goblins through PMs, :/

A large rat just got caught now that some useless pond grabbers swam away if that makes you feel better....

Xenogenic

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6388 on: June 01, 2012, 05:30:15 am »

After a siege, I was thinking: Man, something must be wrong with the burrow designations. No one is going outside even though I removed the lockdown..... 6 months later.... Oh yeah, I forgot to unforbid those doors after a single goblin made it past the traps!
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Dwarven Safety is kind of like a gun in a kindergarten. every single toddler wants to play with it and they will put elaborate plans in motion to get their hands on it. A hundred tiny hands grasping for death and crawling all over you begging for it.

DTF

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6389 on: June 02, 2012, 04:16:01 am »

I just watched a hauler grab a quartzite block from a mason workshop. He ignores the bar/block stockpile next to the shop, runs down ~75 z-levels to my magma forges, heads for the bar/block stockpile that only accepts gabbro blocks there and then heads back to stockpile near the workshop where his job originated.
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(a>b) ? false : true
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