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[Megaman3321]

I start a new fort. Everything goes smoothly for an ingame year. I've been watching it for a few hours, so I get a glass of water. I leave the game running.

Everyone gets slaughtered by a zombie water buffalo..

*facepalm*

[Sus]

Well, I have this fortified position above some lovely drawbridges to shoot down on any comers...
"Ok, the gobbos are on the bridges, pull the lever!"
--> A Goblin Mace Lord is flung through a fortification and into the battlement.
--> ‼Fun‼ Ensues™.

 

[backora900]

When I had a message "The human child... has come! A medium-sized creature prone to a great ambition." Then I saw this child just look at my fort and turn around and run to the map edge. What a motivation - if you have ambitions, stay away from here.

Also when my first dead was a mad naked child. Bad part is I produced a lot of clothes but all of it was taken by adults (they had xclothx; nothing bad).

[Vyro]

Today... I have finally grasped the "Loosing Is Fun" thing.

Surely this fort was promising enough already with that burning miner who refused to die until reload. And that artifact yak leather face veil, The Virginity of Sloths. Well, we had so much gold here we could have been wiping our butts with golden wafers, and looks like that vast meeting square paved with gold (that took about a solid quarter of the accessible surface) was the last drop for those sissy local goblins to finally pull the thumbs out of their arses and send a decent siege, took you long enough. Oh, good, ogres, haven't seen them in a while!
A dozern of riders died to my archers before return fire forced them our of the tower. And then I suddenly feel smoke in the air... Magma? What is it doing on the surface? Ooh, I see, totally forgot about that unfinished miniproject of a magma-based defence system. That has been holding on to a single floodgate this whole time. Until said ogres broke it out of curiosity. Well, no big deal, the bridge is up, the moat is isolated with an obsidian door, the stocks are brimming full with stuff, everything is fine... Wait, who the hell left the moat door wide open?! Dorfs, change of plan!
The invaders, all hundred of them, pour into the trapped hallway and get minced to pieces in an act of bloody carnage involving hundreds of glass serrated discs and menacing copper spikes. Exactly after the last two survivors escape the scorched landscape, a Desert Titan comes in. The giant stupid bird just caught a few dozerns of metal bolts before collapsing right atop the watchtower. Then the drawbridge started flooding, raise it the hell up. Good, now I need to think up a way to contain the magma before it floods the mining facilities. A cave-in, great idea! My bonesetter miner channels the last tile while standing on top of it and goes down for a swim with an alert. But, there were two things I haven't taken into account. First, the cave-in was too narrow to plug the channel. And second, a cave-in only stops on a completely solid surface. One level below was the farming sector. No big deal, put a door here, and we'll be fine. What's that tile, is it a hole? Why do I smell smoke again? Two levels below was the booze stockpile. And the dining hall. A bunch of unlucky beards got fried on a spot, half of the others started tantruming right there. Fine, now I can finally contain the magma with doors. And THEN I recall installing WOODEN doors throughout the whole living area for vengeance purposes.
This was the most glorious failure of a fort I've ever had.

[Garath]

this is an amazing series of facepalms, I salute you for death and destruction

[bukitodinos]

Today... I have finally grasped the "Loosing Is Fun" thing.

Surely this fort was promising enough already with that burning miner who refused to die until reload. And that artifact yak leather face veil, The Virginity of Sloths. Well, we had so much gold here we could have been wiping our butts with golden wafers, and looks like that vast meeting square paved with gold (that took about a solid quarter of the accessible surface) was the last drop for those sissy local goblins to finally pull the thumbs out of their arses and send a decent siege, took you long enough. Oh, good, ogres, haven't seen them in a while!
A dozern of riders died to my archers before return fire forced them our of the tower. And then I suddenly feel smoke in the air... Magma? What is it doing on the surface? Ooh, I see, totally forgot about that unfinished miniproject of a magma-based defence system. That has been holding on to a single floodgate this whole time. Until said ogres broke it out of curiosity. Well, no big deal, the bridge is up, the moat is isolated with an obsidian door, the stocks are brimming full with stuff, everything is fine... Wait, who the hell left the moat door wide open?! Dorfs, change of plan!
The invaders, all hundred of them, pour into the trapped hallway and get minced to pieces in an act of bloody carnage involving hundreds of glass serrated discs and menacing copper spikes. Exactly after the last two survivors escape the scorched landscape, a Desert Titan comes in. The giant stupid bird just caught a few dozerns of metal bolts before collapsing right atop the watchtower. Then the drawbridge started flooding, raise it the hell up. Good, now I need to think up a way to contain the magma before it floods the mining facilities. A cave-in, great idea! My bonesetter miner channels the last tile while standing on top of it and goes down for a swim with an alert. But, there were two things I haven't taken into account. First, the cave-in was too narrow to plug the channel. And second, a cave-in only stops on a completely solid surface. One level below was the farming sector. No big deal, put a door here, and we'll be fine. What's that tile, is it a hole? Why do I smell smoke again? Two levels below was the booze stockpile. And the dining hall. A bunch of unlucky beards got fried on a spot, half of the others started tantruming right there. Fine, now I can finally contain the magma with doors. And THEN I recall installing WOODEN doors throughout the whole living area for vengeance purposes.
This was the most glorious failure of a fort I've ever had.

I think you won bay12

[guitarxe]

When I realized I did not have to muddy underground soil tiles in order to put a farm on them.
/facepalm

[backora900]

After I read a lot about danger rooms and how good they are at trainning fighters I desided to build one too. And while am I at it, test repeater as well.

How did happened that one speardwafette had 3 childs? And those were not imigrated childs. Well they are safer in a hospital anyway. They don't need grasp at all.

[DTF]

Spot the facepalm!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I hate you pathfinding! 

[Garath]

heh, nice one

I'm not good at reading the tileset, took me some time to spot it

[Scruffy]

Urist's first law of masonry: Where there is a wall, there is also a mason on the wrong side.

[WillowLuman]

Urists 2nd Law.

If a mason must remove a large floor, be it cavern or constructed, they shall stand in the middle and remove all the tiles around themselves.

[DTF]

Urists 3rd Law.

The wall always looks nicer on the wrong side.

[WillowLuman]

Law of Conservation of Intelligence

For every act of dwarven brilliance, there must be an act of dwarven stupidity of equal but opposite magnitude.

[Mister Fox]

I had dug myself a small, deep chamber to hold water in that I diverted from a river to use for farming/well water. I got the well working and all the dwarves started partying around it. I went down to work on the farm, and suddenly...

'X cancels task: dangerous terrain!'

I come back upstairs to see that the happy dwarf well party has turned into a hydrophobic's worst nightmare with water gushing out and flooding the dining room near-instantly.