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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2136691 times)

Scruffy

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  • !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! Come smell the ashes
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6300 on: May 17, 2012, 11:21:48 am »

A moody dwarf created an artifact gold spear (full of pictures of dwarves surrounded by hamsters and elves taming bobcats) which I gave it to one of my militia commanders. Year later that same soldier started tantrumming from the lack of shoes (seems like he didnt know how to put them on since there were dozens of them) and killed the weaponsmith with the very same artifact spear he made.
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6301 on: May 17, 2012, 11:39:17 am »

he probably wanted socks
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Pare

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6302 on: May 18, 2012, 12:56:30 am »

I started a new fortress without too many requirements on the site. The plan is to BLOT OUT THE SUN, so all I really need is a relatively flat area and stones, and I think most sites have enough stones. (This is 34.07 still, because the stone -> block -> floor pipeline is more familiar to me in that, and being familiar with it makes this somewhat big project a bit easier.)

Usually my embarks contain just copper ores, so I'm happy to see hematite this time. I kit out some militia with iron, but I'm somewhat sad about the lack of flux, as I'd really like some steel.

I play for some (game) years, that is, a few days real-time. All the while building the sunroof out of mostly chalk blocks.

Yesterday I started thinking "what were the flux stones anyway?". You can probably see the face-palm right there.

As I don't want to bother myself too much with the invasions, the entry corridor is pretty trapped, though. Steel will be nicer, though, although it means dedicating some of the masons to smelter duty.
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JTTCOTE

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6303 on: May 18, 2012, 04:00:16 am »

I channeled a tile.
See the facepalm? I didn't either.

I channeled a tile to let a murky pool flow over a volcano. The water spread out, and flowed diagonally to create an obsidian that instantly fell. This acted as a magma piston and pushed up some magma onto the top, where it formed obsidian. This happened a few times and made a line of obsidian. The water spread further and made an obsidian platform beyond that. I was very careful, I dug inside the obsidian layer. Then I noticed the obsidian on top, so I dug that too. Facepalm incoming.

I dug the obsidian, the whole line caved in, taking the obsidian walls guarding my tunnel with it and flooding my for with magma.

Ah, the fun.
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nopil3os

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6304 on: May 18, 2012, 06:09:15 pm »

fixed 25% chance of a stone tile yielding a stone after mining yet OF COURSE the obsidian clogging the floodgate after an accident involving magma and water yields a stone, subsequently continuing to clogg the floodgate and allow more magma to pour out..
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I'd be shocked if dwarves didn't eat the demons they killed. After all, if they're willing to eat a poison spewing monstrosity, why not a flying dinosaur thing that hates all life?

Edmus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6305 on: May 18, 2012, 06:10:44 pm »

Turns out you can copy/paste military commands...  :'(
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ClkWrkJester

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6306 on: May 18, 2012, 06:29:14 pm »

Didn't notice that I'd left a hatch, not a floor, over my path to the caverns. Then without really thinking, I built my Child Care pen.

Right where the hatch was.Seems I forgot about Building Destroyers, which I remembered rather quickly after a cave croc tore a bloody path through my fort's babies. Just grabbin' and shakin'
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Carve out a massive pit and construct a copper block tower! Challenge those goblin bastards with your phallus of justice!

Xheia

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6307 on: May 18, 2012, 06:49:48 pm »

Not sure how facepalm worthy this is, but I realized that Sunshine was a play on words with moonshine.
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Waparius

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6308 on: May 19, 2012, 01:15:52 am »

A pair of necromancers show up at my second post-minecart-update fort, complete with a hundred-odd undead.

"Oh no! I only have two squads of militia! Everybody inside! Raise the drawbridge!"

Pause.

"Where's the lever that raises the drawbridge?"

When I was down to three dwarves, I ordered the militia to run to the edge of the map, so I could at least imagine they had a chance of survival when I hit "succumb to the invasion". The original expedition leader was the only one able to fight his way through the horde of shambling undead and escape, though one of his comrades wound up stuck on top of a pillar for some reason.
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6309 on: May 19, 2012, 01:27:17 pm »

Dwarf cancels job: construct cabinet - Item blocking site

The item that was blocking the site? The cabinet he had brought to put in that spot. -.-
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Bastus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6310 on: May 19, 2012, 05:05:58 pm »

More than enough Stonecrafters in my Fort.
*Butcher withdraws from society*
Legendary Stonecrafter+ worthless artifact Toy Hammer.

Why do I never get these with my Smiths?
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misko27

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6311 on: May 19, 2012, 09:47:54 pm »

I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

JTTCOTE

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6312 on: May 20, 2012, 05:37:33 am »

I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
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Bilanthri

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6313 on: May 20, 2012, 12:25:38 pm »

I just realized (after years of playing DF) that you can designate digging areas over multiple z-levels by simply selecting the starting tile on the first z-level, going down the wished number of levels and then selecting the ending tile on the last level.

All the precious time wasted by stoicly designating stairs, going down a level, designating stairs, going down a level, etc like a robot. I always knew about the macro stuff, but never bothered to use it... but this, boy I feel like a caveman who miraculously got his hands on a futuristic fusion self-powered jackhammer and then used it like a deformed pickaxe to smash stone.
Actually, that's new as of the last major version IIRC  :P
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!
You can!?! PRAISE THE MINERS!

If I remember correctly, this is a fairly new addition. Certainly makes those stairwells to HFS easier to set up.
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yamgrenade

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6314 on: May 21, 2012, 04:35:33 pm »

That awkward moment when you google HFS and find out what it means. No longer HIDDEN.
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