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[Revanchist]

This just happened five minutes ago.

I send Urist McLeverpuller to test my bridge.  All goes well with the pull and he responded very quickly.  Then he went for a drink...

It (the bridge) decided to pull up at the moment he stepped on the base. I looked for the body but he seemed to be wiped from existence,  and he was my most valuable idiot dwarf.  This doesn't seem bad,  except for the fact that I accidentally made the distance from the lever the exact distance it needed to not be.  I was fully prepared for that Urist to have a broken spine with crippling injuries,  and he just goes *poof*.

Stupid Dwarves... can't even prevent themselves from demolecularization...

EDIT:  I also locked myself out of the fort...

[MaximumZero]

Oh, hey, here's one from the wayback machine.

The day I upgraded my computer from an ancient Celeron D to the AMD 1090T Six core. I also went from 1GB RAM to 8. (Apparently, the biggest impact on my speed was the extreme cache upgrade.) Also, my FPS on my carefully selected, excessive item culled, no moving water or magma, anti-fps drain 2x2 map went from ~16 to over 200,000. The siege that hit me right after I loaded the save lasted less than a second, and I lost 190 dorfs. My reaction?

O_O OMFGWAT?

Then I remembered that I had the FPS uncapped.

*facepalm*

[FlickerFly]

I decide to try out kobold camp.
After a couple of tries, I get a nice stable dirt-fort.
A large ambush of elvish spearmen comes over.
I close the door.
Then the merchants which were in the fort at the time decide to leave, opening the doors.
They come in, slaughtering my puny kobolds.
I am in another part of the fort at the time, and decide that some must have been caught outside.
By the time I figured out what was happening, I was pretty much doomed.

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.

[Corai]

I decide to try out kobold camp.
After a couple of tries, I get a nice stable dirt-fort.
A large ambush of elvish spearmen comes over.
I close the door.
Then the merchants which were in the fort at the time decide to leave, opening the doors.
They come in, slaughtering my puny kobolds.
I am in another part of the fort at the time, and decide that some must have been caught outside.
By the time I figured out what was happening, I was pretty much doomed.

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.

Welcome to the kobold-family, we embrace you in open arms.

[FrisianDude]

First ambush of this fortress. A bunch of spears and a bowgoblin. My militia is clad in steel, melee dwarfs with two mail coats, a breastplate and two cloaks. Apparently it's cardboard. Especially the bowgoblin lays about him. Including my sheriff/militia commander who was charging as the bowgob was torturing a swordsdwarf. The bowgoblin turned, loosed one arrow which pierced two cloaks, a breastplate and two mail shirts to tear the middle spine nervous tissue. The MCom fell at the goblin's feet.

The hell am I even making steel armour for? Just to slow them down?

[Garath]

yes, archers are over powered

[ObeseHelmet]

I set my crafters to make stone crafts, mugs and cabochons to trade to the elven caravan. Totally clogged up my stockpiles, and was praying for the day I could dump it for loads of plants, booze, cloth and exotic animals.

Turns out this world only has dwarves and kobolds.

. . .

[Bartinyou]

Urist McMedicalDwarf keeps using adamantine thread to suture wounded soldiers.  One soldier had 6 adamantine sutures in him, literally making him the 6 million dollar  man dwarf.

[Reudh]

Our broker took a bath in infernal ash. She promptly exploded into a mess.

[MrButtchicker]

I'm starting to think this militia vamps vs. web shooting demon battle with no foreseeable end that lasted for four years is starting to make my dwarves unhappy. I don't know, but I'm not releasing those soon to be berserk dwarves from eternal captivity anytime soon.

EDIT: One of the dwarves went mad, they escaped, and they hate cats. That noble man just ended the catsplosion with his epic military skills.

[CandyOreVein]

"Urist McFails cancles collect webs. Webbed."  *FACEPALM

There is no words to express the fail this dwarf has set upon my fort. I burned him alive in magma. I then cycled the meat of that dwarf into the local dwarven syrip roast supply.

[TSTwizby]

Oh, hey, here's one from the wayback machine.

The day I upgraded my computer from an ancient Celeron D to the AMD 1090T Six core. I also went from 1GB RAM to 8. (Apparently, the biggest impact on my speed was the extreme cache upgrade.) Also, my FPS on my carefully selected, excessive item culled, no moving water or magma, anti-fps drain 2x2 map went from ~16 to over 200,000. The siege that hit me right after I loaded the save lasted less than a second, and I lost 190 dorfs. My reaction?

O_O OMFGWAT?

Then I remembered that I had the FPS uncapped.

*facepalm*

I wish this would happen to me. I've got a fort of 50 dwarves, and I'm lucky if my FPS gets above 40, despite 4GB RAM. Of course, I'm in the middle of a megaproject, which might affect things somewhat...

Which brings me to my facepalm. I'm working with very limited stone resources, and trying to build a huge stone disk on top of a pillar overlooking a volcano. There's a pump stack set up in the middle of this pillar. I spend about a year in game, and about 10 hours out of game setting everything up when I realise that granite is not in fact magma safe.

[MaximumZero]

Remember, I went from a (now) 8 year old intel Celeron D to an AMD 1090T six core. Everything saw massive speed increases.

[Himmelblau]

yes, archers are over powered

I particularly like how elite archers shoot accurately through fortifications that are 10 tiles away. I was so baffled when I first saw they do that, I was certain that I had forgotten to build fortifications in the first place.

Also, @TSTwizby: your signature's a little off, the first line seems to be misquoted to Sabreur instead of simonthedwarf.

[TSTwizby]

...you're right. Not sure how that happened. Thanks.