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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209828 times)

Iapetus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6075 on: April 02, 2012, 02:21:01 pm »

Human caravan decides not to actually depart until dwarven caravan arrives.
Both caravans reach my (5-wide) gate at the same and get stuck.
I deconstruct a 3-wide section of the wall to make way for them.
Two human wagons get out the gap, but before the third makes it through a dwarven wagon tries to get in.
Now both exits are blocked.
:facepalm:
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Engraved on the floor is a well-designed image of a kobold and a carp.  The kobold is making a plaintive gesture.  The carp is laughing.

Count Dorku

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6076 on: April 02, 2012, 02:37:59 pm »

I seem to be getting a lot of these lately. A year and a half of absence + features that weren't in last time I played = chaos.

Note to self: next time, check whether animals in cages still need food *before* cramming them in there.

I'm treating my current fort as about 20% serious effort and 80% "make the mistakes now so you don't make them later" learning experience.
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"when in doubt, Magma"

Miners are diggin out nicely, everything will go right, i hope. hell, what am i even saying? this is dwarf fortress. it wont go right.

rtg593

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6077 on: April 02, 2012, 11:06:56 pm »

Not a facepalm yet, but has the makings of one. Legends mode, "The Forgotten Beast Sidel 'The Playful Suckers.""

I can just see the message in fort mode:

"Beware his playful suckers!"
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Is it because light travels faster than sound,
that people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Corai

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6078 on: April 03, 2012, 01:27:47 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Nuff' said.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Sus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6079 on: April 03, 2012, 01:41:38 am »

I just recalled an earlier facepalm moment from the era befode .34:

> A vile force of darkness has arrived!
"Red alert! Archers, to positions! Fire the siege engines!"

-siege has left the building-

"Cancel red alert. Archers, stand down and resume training schedule."

-time passes-

> Urist McHauler has been shot and killed.
"What the carp?"
...
"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU... Ballistas, cease fire! Cease fire!"

Yeah. One brain fart regarding the ballistae = a lot of hospitalized drofs and one fatal case of friendly fire.
The fact that my siege workshop was set on repeat didn't help matters.

Even earlier, I built elaborate ballista towers before checking the Wiki and finding out that ballista arrows can only hit targets on the same z-level as the ballista...  :-[
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Bartinyou

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6080 on: April 03, 2012, 01:24:18 pm »

Urist McLeverPuller has taken great joy in battle lately.

Urist McChiefMedDwarf has been overwhelmed by 20 patients in the hospital.



. . . This what happens when you forget  to pull Urist off a lever before sending your haulers across the bridge to gather goblinite.
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WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6081 on: April 03, 2012, 06:44:39 pm »

Urist McLeverPuller has taken great joy in battle lately.

Urist McChiefMedDwarf has been overwhelmed by 20 patients in the hospital.



. . . This what happens when you forget  to pull Urist off a lever before sending your haulers across the bridge to gather goblinite.

They can get that thought if they operate a trap lever?
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Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Bartinyou

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6082 on: April 03, 2012, 07:43:03 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No it wasn't an actual in game thought, but I hope one of the 20 or so dwarves that was sent to the hospital made sure to give him a piece of their mind when they were released.
They can get that thought if they operate a trap lever?
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Cobaldunderpants

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6083 on: April 04, 2012, 03:42:25 am »

I was so excited. For the first time I actually went and mined up some Adamantine. I extracted the strands and made the wafers. All told I only was able to obtain about 28 pieces of raw adamantine from my map.

Not once did I think to forbid the materials.

Nor did I think twice when one of my dwarves was struck by a fey mood.

It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me. I hoped that he wouldn't finish the project. I hoped that when he needed those cut gems I didn't have that he would go berserk and I would have my guards slaughter him for touching my precious metals. Unfortunately I forgot that I had not sold all my cut gems to the merchants. He began his project using the cut gem, 3 raw adamantine blocks, and 1 adamantine wafer.

Alright, maybe he'll make something cool. He is in a craftdwarf shop, maybe he'll make something I can use?

He made a lute. Not just any lute either. It was a lute depicting a dragon moving into the desert I had settled on year 1 of my world. A dragon that was already dead. It was if the game was mocking me with an adamantine lute about the dragon that would never come for me to capture. I am now going to find a way to drop this dwarf into magma.
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"I'm sorry, so you want me to make your underpants out of cobalt or kobolds?"

"Eh, whatever"

Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6084 on: April 04, 2012, 03:52:00 am »

serious, I'll make an adventurer to come steal that lute and be the most amazing bard/adventurer ever.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

floundericiousWA

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6085 on: April 04, 2012, 08:44:34 am »

I was so excited. For the first time I actually went and mined up some Adamantine. I extracted the strands and made the wafers. All told I only was able to obtain about 28 pieces of raw adamantine from my map.

Not once did I think to forbid the materials.

Nor did I think twice when one of my dwarves was struck by a fey mood.

It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me. I hoped that he wouldn't finish the project. I hoped that when he needed those cut gems I didn't have that he would go berserk and I would have my guards slaughter him for touching my precious metals. Unfortunately I forgot that I had not sold all my cut gems to the merchants. He began his project using the cut gem, 3 raw adamantine blocks, and 1 adamantine wafer.

Alright, maybe he'll make something cool. He is in a craftdwarf shop, maybe he'll make something I can use?

He made a lute. Not just any lute either. It was a lute depicting a dragon moving into the desert I had settled on year 1 of my world. A dragon that was already dead. It was if the game was mocking me with an adamantine lute about the dragon that would never come for me to capture. I am now going to find a way to drop this dwarf into magma.


Eh...waste of a legendary craftsdwarf....burrow him with a pile of stone and a workshop, making crafts until he drops.
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6086 on: April 04, 2012, 10:15:06 am »

After two or three years of nice, orderly fishing, all my fisherdwarves suddenly started jumping off the local waterfall.
I really need to remember to floor those over...
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Scruffy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6087 on: April 04, 2012, 12:59:33 pm »

I set a kiln to produce porcelain statues and forgot all about it. By the time I noticed I had 300 statues filling my stockpiles an this is where everything started going heading towards FUN.. You see, all my rooms were 1x6 andnaturally I decided to start placing a statue in each room in my fort (have to keep those smelly buggers happy since my minions tend to have their livespans a "bit" on the short side. (A mason producing coffins around the year..)) Around a year later I started wondering why my bookkeeping was a bit sketchy, farms unplanted and forges not producing anything. Only after that I noticed that there were a few too many skeletons in my livingquarters.. I had forgotten that the little furballs can't walk past the statues so I had trapped 30 dwarves in their rooms (out of 80) and this includes most of my furniture haulers. I lost most of my useful dwarves and was left with a bunch of furnace operators and nobles.

I have had a few occasions when my forts population has dropped to 1-2 dwarves but the most face palm moment was when my only remaining survivor of a "slight" HFS accident (note to self: never place your candy tube floodgate lever next to your main gate lever.) Urist Mcmechanic managed to get himself trapped in his own cagetrap.

Recently I tried breeding giant eagles which didnt seem to produce any offspring. A while later I noticed my baron munching on a giant eagle egg roast. :-\
« Last Edit: April 04, 2012, 01:05:54 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

SixOfSpades

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6088 on: April 04, 2012, 10:05:07 pm »

It wasn't til I saw the little bastard dragging my precious adamantine back to his workshop that my folly hit me.
Fun fact: You can forbid materials that the moody dwarf has already carried to his workshop. He'll check his list, see that he still needs X quantity of Y, and go collect some more. This might only work while he's still collecting ingredients, though.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

mrhanman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6089 on: April 05, 2012, 10:51:05 am »

My very first fort embarked in a location where water froze in the winter.  I had no idea how to find water, and I watched helplessly as my dwarves died of thirst one by one.  The last to go was a child, scared and alone.  :'(
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