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[Werefox]

Only miner just channeled out a 7z deep pit before digging the staircase i designated next to the pit till he hit the aquifier and drowned with my only pick

[AWdeV]

Stray yak bull right rear hoof hoof in craftsdwarf workshop. Yes, I wrote that correctly. The shop is now, with one hoof in it, "masterfully" cluttered.

It weighs 25. 25 whats? It clearly is heavier than a kobold skull (totem'd) so this must've been one big damn yak.

[Werefox]

As far as i remember, any part of an animal is calculated as the full animal. So Yak hair, hoof, skull, bones is the size of 4 full yaks in your shop. Yay 'feature'!

[AWdeV]

Ah. Right.


Anyway.

My first mood failed due to no metal bars.
Second mood okey-day. Kea man bone bin.
Third mood. Metalcrafter. I have bars, struck galena shortly after mood no1 went bonkers.

Oh right. I didn't bring an anvil on embark. Only option was steel and that was a bit much.

It's late autumn, dwarf caravan should be here soon.

Dwarf caravan arrives.

Oh right, I didn't ask for them to bring an anvil.


BLAST.

[rhesusmacabre]

My military killed a titan next to a 2z deep pool (ocean biome) and its body fell to the bottom. To retrieve it, I decided to pump out the water one layer at a time. Unfortunately, my pump operator's baby was caught in the backwash, fell in and drowned. To avoid something similar happening again, I tried the "tunnel underneath and punch a hole from above" method, and that worked without a hitch...  Until a dwarf who was picking up some goblin teeth from the emptying pool had her baby swept down the hole, where it landed on its head.

The titan's body was recovered, but by this time it had rotted away to just hair.

[sarus92]

Embarked on a terrifying..well embark. Finally was able to get everything underground and settled. But forgot about zombies. I was abruptly reminded when I slaughtered my livestock for food but it came back to life and murdered my fortress >.<  *facepalm*

[Corai]

Deciding to sell a captured Dragon (stored next to my booze stockpile) to the Elves for kicks.

Yeahh.

Your evil. Get back in your tower.

[Putnam]

Fliers in dwarf mode as a whole.

"Oh no I'm stuck on a roof with no walls or ceiling! Help!"

[SixOfSpades]

My mayor has very simple tastes. Gold (the site has plenty), petrified wood (okay we have to import that), figurines, and animal traps. Sounds pretty basic.

Facepalm 1.
A: "Why is it taking so long to get any gold figurines made? The Expert Metalcrafter has literally all of his other labors turned off! Why is he still 'No Job'?"
B: "Well, the forge is built on petrified wood, which is a {forbidden} stone, could that be causing it?"
A: "The wood furnace & smelter are made of the same stuff, and they're going just fine! But I'll try it anyway . . . bring me some marble blocks."
Mayor: "Just in time!"

Facepalm 2.
A: "Why is it taking so long to build wooden animal traps? We have a Legendary Carpenter, fercrissake!"
B: "I don't know, it's like the whole carpenter's workshop is clogged up for some reason . . . nothing's being made."
A: "I'll designate the order through the manager's window, maybe that'll shake things up."
B: "Nope, nothing."
A: "Dammit, I'll check the wiki."
(later) A: "What, it uses the Trapping labor, not Carpentry? Who the hell leaves the Trapping labor activated? Well, guess what, Lorbam, you're about to learn trap-making . . . "
Mayor: "51 days in prison for you!!!" 

[Airpi]

So, just started a fort after a particularly long Dark Age. One of my dwarves immediately picks up a crossbow, kills a menacing otter, and then throws himself down a nearby waterfall while trying to return the corpse. Why.

(Slightly later, my carpenter and and a pair of kitten have thrown themselves down the waterfall as well. This site is cursed. Abandoned.)

[Telgin]

Fliers in dwarf mode as a whole.

"Oh no I'm stuck on a roof with no walls or ceiling! Help!"

This.  I'm hoping Toady does something with flier and swimmer pathing in the bug fix cycle at some point.  No idea how complex it is to fix though.

Had a face palm moment when I realized that giving dwarves more cabinets gets all their crap off of the floor.  I hate the clutter!

[MarcAFK]

So i just had a facepalm worthy encounter with an aquifer, I'm still not sure what happened really, all i know is i need to be more careful while breeching.
So i found an aquifer, i began standard breeching procedure, i dug a 10x16 channel in the surface (with a single square on the left edge connecting to the surface) continued the channel down untill the level just above the aquiver, then i dug out that whole level, and channelled the whole thing out leaving an 8x14 channel of 7 deep water surrounded by ramps. i dropped the plug (losing a miner and pick as expected) then dug stairs down the plug. After reaching the level below the aquifer i found the soil dry so i started digging out the precious native platinum, however when i reached the tile directly underneath 7 deep water covered ramps around my plug i got the damp stone warning. I figure yeah it's damp because of the water above it, that's fine theres a floor between this level and the aquifer. So i dig it out and everythng is fine. BUT when i dig out the next space, i get a breech and everything floods.
*facepalm* also WTF how did that happen? Was the dry level i dug actually an aquifer but dropping stone on it caused it to lose it's aquifer status, when i dug past the plug then i leaked, if so, then why was the tile under the ramp safe despite the ramp not having anything dropped on it? I'm sure it has nothing to do with an irregular aquifer because i dug out to each other side of the plug and got the exact same result. I'm quite confused. In future i'll just avoid the level below the aquifer even though it should be safe, even if it has most of the native platinum on the map

[Iapetus]

1) Chained a goblin hammerman up in my barracks for live target practice, but managed to choose the one that hadn't been disarmed yet.

He managed to beat almost my entire military a pulp. 

In the end I had to draft the vampire hammer/crossbowman that had arrived in a migrant wave shortly before and send him to take it out.  (Who for some reason decided to equip herself with a copper shortsword and eventually lopped the gobbo's head off, but not before sustaining injuries that put her in the hospital as well).


2) Mechanic had just finished installing a row of cage traps in the outer entrance when an ambush showed up.  The mechanic, despite having an easy route the the safety of the fortress, and a row of cage traps between him and the gobbos, decided to run out past the goblins, and promptly got himself slaughtered.

[Exlo]

 I was just fortunate enough to have a yellow... Zircon? Some kind of titan made of some kind of gem. It spat webs. I underestimated the power of webs. I also forgot about the building destroyer tag. I forgot a lot of things.

 Anyway, big fella killed off my military in about two seconds, then proceeded to pummel the children I forced to carry goblin garbage into the fort for the caravans. I was able to kill it by drafting everyone into the military but the fort then tantrum spiraled itself into oblivion. Needless to say - pretty big facepalm on my part. I was just about to start up steel production...

[AWdeV]

Noticed my hospital wells were filled with stagnant water. I figured I'd flush it through, get some new water in.

Hah, no. Trees sprouted up.

Cue making a bypass, draining the clogged bit, smoothing, tiling, draining the second clogged bit, another tree sprouts, cut it down, drain further, etc. To make a long story short a one-tile wide pipe is now three wide with a a one-wide bypass starting around halfway.

Fill it back up, water is still stagnant. Fresh from the river, but the river is stagnant.   

All that for nothing.