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[Shininglight]

I started a small fortress, jungle embark, peaceful elephants, no badgers coal, iron ,and flux.... Get the main entraance dug out, then the stockpile and farms. Have my wall designated to be built then, Zombie giant badger...and another... and another, then "An ambush, Curse them"..... twenty dead dwarves, 10 marksgoblins, and at least a dozen giant zombie badgers later, i have only one dwarf, my militia commander, and five dogs left. Then the militia commander passes out as he walks over a river and drowns.... I was dissapointed.

One other time, my fortress had at least 120 people, 12 soldiers, formally 30 but most had been killed in the last siege, including my legendary speardwarf with 41 kills. "A vile force of darkness has arrived." Okay, i lock down the fortress, send out a few of my  remaining soldiers to slow the goblins. Uknown to me , there's an elite marksgobbo walking around. He begins shooting over my walls. My refuse pile is inside my walls but, as my dorfs try to drop off their stuff , i get 120 messages of: Urist Mcgarbageman cancels store item in stockpile: Interrupted by goblin lasher,pikeman,axeman,archer. Cue my entire fortress walking around on the very top of my fortress and getting NOTHING done.... Eventually i gave up getting the dorfs down and opened the gate with one of my military dwarves who was busy training.
Very cathartic.

[bukitodinos]

i put my "brige up leaver" to close to the enterance so now my fort is flooding with goblins because my dorfs are sissys and can't pull a leaver that is too close to the goblins

[jaxler]

2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM

[Rockphed]

2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM

One of these days I am going to build a fortress with tunnels crisscrossing the map for a lava cannon.  It will have pin-point accuracy.  Like putting a scope on a shotgun.

[ungulateman]

2 words: lava pressure...

2 more words: FACE PALM

One of these days I am going to build a fortress with tunnels crisscrossing the map for a lava cannon.  It will have pin-point accuracy.  Like putting a scope on a shotgun.

Build six.

[Lordraymond]

Crimsonhold has really become crimson thanks to a single forgotten beast (beware its fire!)

All was well for the Ashen Crux of the Kingdom of Ash. The militia was forming, the first wave of stupid mongrel Beak Wolves was held off by the moat and gate, and weapons and shields were almost (key word ALMOST) ready to be forged.

"The forgotten beast Urast Shurldrast has risen! A giant skinless alligator, it undulates rhythmically. Beware its fire!"

'No problem, i have a wall, right? Oh god, my door! That thing'll break it down!' Thankfully, as this particular fort is abour 50% aboveground, I have several dwarves on mason duty, and they manage to seal up the door before it can arrive.

'I'm safe now, right?'

"Urist McScaredyCat cancelled Store Item in Stockpile: Interrupted by forgotten beast"

Multiply that by a hundred, and that's what flashes through my fort every minute or so. See, I forgot to fill in the walls ABOVE the main one, so dwarves climbing down my stairwell to the magma forges can't actually pass because they have line of sight on it. I have ten dwarves in full iron, why not just kill it?

Magma forges are my only forges. I have no spare anvils. My militia has armor, but no shields or weapons. Shields wouldn't be an issue, but the part with the GIANT BURSTS OF FLAME make going out without one more suicide than pitting a year 2 militia that's been established for a grand total of five weeks (in game) against a FB already is.

I gave them all the equipment I could, drafted my miners, and sent them out and began to remove the wall.

"Urist McRandom cancels Remove Construction: Interrupted by Forgotten Beast!"

Crap. Well, I suppose I may as well just dig a way around. But then, out of abso-freaking-lutely nowhere, the single child in the fort runs up to the wall and takes it out (another reason to hate the little buggers). He's immediately killed by fire, followed by the returning militia, followed by the rest of my fort.

I savescummed, I'll admit. The Fort was just too good to lose. It was the first one in around twenty-five to have iron, first of all, and it also had:

-Copper for shields
-Nickel for crafts
-Plenty of gems
-A legendary bone carver for bolts
-Did I mention the stupidly scarce iron that showed up in abundance here?
-Oh yeah, and a metric beard-ton of native gold for more expensive crafts
-Abundant candy
-The most perfectly-defendable spot for the actual fort
-A booming metal industry

[Pokon]

I will never try to tame the wild crocs outside my fortress ever again, mostly because they are each bloated and fat from 20+ dwarven kills. Guess what happens whan you tame them?

[Urist McKiwi]

I will never try to tame the wild crocs outside my fortress ever again, mostly because they are each bloated and fat from 20+ dwarven kills. Guess what happens whan you tame them?

They decide they want special food and cuddles from everyone?

My current fort has been one facepalm moment after another.

Hey! An island! I'll embark there and learn fortress management without goblins to worry about!
We're by the sea!....wait, no, we're IN the sea. Can people please try and get stuff out of the wagon before it floo-...oh, nevermind.
ARRRRRRGH BADGER BADGER BADGER GET THE WALLS UP GET THE WALLS UP!
Hey! Rubies!.....oh wait, they're at the bottom of the sea. Nevermind, keep digging. I hope you all like nothing but plump helmet!
Woo! First metal ore!......wait, it's frikken ZINC. Ah well, I'm sure I'll find more metal soon enough.
Woo! Second metal ore...it's MORE zinc!
More zinc.....more zinc.....some more rubies I can't mine without flooding the entire fort......zinc.....zinc.....zinc......zinc.

....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!

And there the fort stands, with no real metals industry because there's nothing but Zinc, ANYWHERE. Unless DF2012 adds support for galvanised items, I am NEVER going to use it all....and even then, I have no iron/steel. Or....well....anything. At this rate I'm going to be mining candy before finding anything other than more frabjuous zinc.

[jaxler]

well i sent my recycle bin to the recycle bin...

[Theifofdreams]

....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Did you actually check the embark site for what you'll find?
(It probably said "Shallow Metal. Deep Metal.") meaning you'll find one type of metal in the shallow layers, and one type deeper down, and the two shall never mix, nor shall others join. I've had forts with literally nothing but copper, and another with only lead. (good times, that last one.)

On that note, pretty much deciding to load up DF and continue playing is usually a facepalm for me. At some point, something happens, or doesn't happen. And then doom.

[Kassil]

D'oh! I channeled out a section of aquifer along a canyon wall to make a Doomfall trap for invaders, and forgot to set it restricted while installing the retaining wall to keep the invaders from just sauntering on in. There went two masons and a miner... Fortunately, my other miner got over the unhappy thoughts involved and is doing just fine. shame the other pick is at the bottom of a 17 z-level drop in a river full of hippos...

[bombzero]

 and another with only lead. (good times, that last one.)

hmm... should have built a large, football shaped room in the sky out of lead... for some reason...

[boltyhead]

My biggest facepalm moment so far

My dwarves started accidentally killing each other in training so i traded their adamantine weapons for training weapons not long after that a Vile Force of Darkness arrived so i sent my brave dwarves out to battle... just after they started fighting i realised something....... i never changed their weapons back  there were braves dwarves dead everywhere

[MagmaSolutionsInc]

....zinc......zinc....damp stone.....damp stone......damp stone......zinc.......zinc....damp zinc...wait, whut?

[BombStrike]

Today I started a brand new fortress to test a new layout I thinked off. As I was working on the metal industry floor, I noticed the following message:

Urist Mc4YearOld has suffocated

I started wondering how as no announcement or reports was speaking of him being attacked or hurt.
After searching for a while I discovered several over dwarfs unconscious or hurt, and following a trail of blood from one of them I found what had transpired:
    My cart was not far from a 2z level high cliff I dug to make the entrance to my fortress, as more and more immigrant arrived the default meeting area got cluttered and some people started pushing others, causing some to fall off the cliff... *facepalm*

Needless to say, I changed the meeting area and started working on the hospital sooner than I thinked I'd have to