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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209132 times)

Ibid Straydrink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5100 on: September 28, 2011, 10:30:35 pm »

Finally came around and downloaded DF 31.25 with Phoebus' graphics set. After a few hours of rolling new worlds and at last setting up my party, I embarked to an arctic coastal region with the hopes of taming a few of those fancy battle walruses. Food was be scarce, especially since 2/3 of the map was a glacier. Good thing I brought rabbits!

...




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“I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so, for all that comes to be. Deserves to perish wretchedly; 'Twere better nothing would begin."

Doomchild-

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5101 on: September 29, 2011, 03:11:20 am »

after the damned elves got offended at the fact i tried to trade them rope reed stuff i got off the bodies of the previous elven caravan (which decided the best route out of my fortress was to wrap around the mountain and take the long way out, right into an ambush) and denied me the honey badger i wanted, i snapped and told my militia commander to kill them all (my fortress relies on a heavily trapped entrance for protection, the militia commander is just my old hunter which i use for mopping up any survivers in my dodge trap).
as i watched the elves pack up i noticed a distinct lack of dead elves, searching for my militia commander plants my cursor right in my prison... militia commander jailed for failing to produce bismuth bronze items... my brilliant mayor decided that the violation of his production order was made by the sole defender of the fortress whose only skills are hunting and military skills.
i quickly locked all exits from my fortress and counted down the last week my commander spent in jail.
immediatly upon release he charged out and using his artifact golden crossbow he turned 3 of the 4 elves into bolt-filled corpses and kills 2 of the 4 yaks. having emptied his quiver he proceeds to use his golden crossbow as blunt instrument and starts bashing heads... 40 pages worth of combat... every strike to the head, the 3rd yak leads him across my fortress in a chase worthy of the benny hill theme. suddenly the yak fights back, breaking my commanders leg and ends the fight.
after countless strikes to the head with a golden weapon, the yak leaves the fortress together with last remaining elf and the other remaining yak.

i really wanted that honey badger :(

i was under the impression that gold weapons were decent at blunt damage, either i'm mistaking or that yak had a slade skull >.<
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Tiruin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5102 on: September 29, 2011, 05:20:20 am »

i was under the impression that gold weapons were decent at blunt damage, either i'm mistaking or that yak had a slade skull >.<

True gold is actually a 'soft' metal, an alloy is what gives its hardness.

Its Silver, not gold!

But the fact that it is an artifact CROSSBOW makes the difference of ranged warfare. Artifacts have a x3  Weapon To-Hit / Armor Deflect Modifier.



And here I am typing all this when I find my fort flooded again...Accursed aquifers. Can't plug em properly...
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Doomchild-

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5103 on: September 29, 2011, 06:19:31 am »

So i just have to make sure my commander is sufficiently supplied with silver bolts... luckily i got a crapton of silver laying around.
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ZeroSumHappiness

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5104 on: September 29, 2011, 09:45:34 am »

Blunt weapons currently only make use of the density of the material (and size and contact area of the weapon.)

Gold should make a better blunt weapon than silver.  Your commander probably has a really crappy hammerdwarf skill level; when used as a blunt instrument, crossbows are counted as hammers.
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Erkki

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5105 on: September 29, 2011, 10:50:57 am »

Blunt weapons currently only make use of the density of the material (and size and contact area of the weapon.)

Gold should make a better blunt weapon than silver.  Your commander probably has a really crappy hammerdwarf skill level; when used as a blunt instrument, crossbows are counted as hammers.

Rather, crossbow is a crap blunt weapon that is attached to the hammer skill. Using actual blunt weapons is a lot more effective than just bashing things with a crossbow's stock...
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Quantumtroll

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5106 on: September 29, 2011, 04:58:24 pm »

Finally finished a small project to furnish my dwarves with a self-filling water cistern and waterfall, powered by a couple of waterwheels.  I built the waterwheels on the wrong level, and instead of turning they block the flow of water.  Dwarves are drowning, and the dining room is a stone aquarium.  The only way to fix the problem is by consigning more dwarves to a watery grave by deconstructing the confounded waterwheels.  The flooding has probably turned the cistern water salty, too, and I have no way of emptying it without yet another suicidal deconstruction mission. 

Do I sense a tantrum spiral looming?  Oh shiiiiiiiiii....

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AWdeV

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5107 on: September 29, 2011, 05:07:13 pm »

Three simultaneous goblin ambushes, legendary blacksmith outside, caravan near ambush. Rage-y abandon.

See autosaves. Figure "hey, I reacted too harshly, I need to quit doing that, I'll just reload the autumn autosave instead of the late-autumn proper save".

Do so.

Find out that a) last batch of migrants is yet to arrive and therefore gonna be different. b) military re-organisation had to be done again. c) Last mood (fey glassmaker, green glass table) is gone.

Migrants arrive, weaponsmith amongst them. Before entering he gets hit with a fey mood. (second fey weaponsmith mood).

He grabs a magma forge and picks up a lead bar. Before placing the bar I decide to save, so I can see whether or not the lead item would be worth it. (it wouldn't because even if it was blunt a golden one would be awesome-er).

Try to reload game.


Err, it's not there.


AUUGH IT'S BECAUSE I ABANDONED.
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h.scorpio

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5108 on: September 30, 2011, 01:56:47 am »

Quote
and the dining room is a stone aquarium

Oh yeah, water is fun!
I recently did the same by placing the de-pressurizer on the wrong lvl. Unfortunately the killswitch was in the dining room, too. Yeah, seemed like a great idea at that point...

In my current game I built my water supply more carefully, featuring a ~10 z-lvl supply-pipe with access via floodgates and de-pressurizer on each lvl where water was needed. Also, emergency drainage into a cavern, if need be.
When I finally set the darn thing in motion it was working well, except when some dorfs noticed that those floodgates that had been blocking the way were finally gone and tried to get to the surface via the supply-pipe. Others were just admiring the beautiful waterfall I seemingly had built for their regalement.
Needless to say that 10 z-lvls of pressurized water ended those dreams pretty abruptly.
Oh well, at least they died in a state of ecstasy.
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Quantumtroll

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5109 on: September 30, 2011, 03:02:55 am »

Quote
and the dining room is a stone aquarium

Oh yeah, water is fun!
I recently did the same by placing the de-pressurizer on the wrong lvl. Unfortunately the killswitch was in the dining room, too. Yeah, seemed like a great idea at that point...
And guess where one of the dwarves decided to die?  Right on top of the floodgate that is supposed to shut the ocean out.  There's no off-button anymore, and all this takes place right underneath my entrance, so I won't even be able to use cave-ins to stem the flood.  *sigh*

As to your dwarves that tried to swim up a pressurized water main, I'm surprised they could even path through deep water.  Ah well, such is the nature of the dwarf! 
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Ibid Straydrink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5110 on: September 30, 2011, 03:07:31 am »

I finally rolled the perfect world. Dark elves, accessible volcanoes, an evil forest with a magma lake (glitch)..>!

OH HAI zombie AVG! Are those "8042.prt.sys" guys behind you your friends..?
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“I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so, for all that comes to be. Deserves to perish wretchedly; 'Twere better nothing would begin."

sebcool

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5111 on: September 30, 2011, 05:59:31 am »

Off topic: Hi i'm new  :D

On topic: While extending a cistern trying to prevent a flood, i accidentally channeled down to my workshops, causing a vast wave of ~~FUN~~ *facepalm*
« Last Edit: October 01, 2011, 10:52:27 am by sebcool »
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Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5112 on: September 30, 2011, 11:25:12 am »

I accidently breached Deep Fun with no precautions in place (the first stone of Candy I removed exposed the stick) and my military up dealing with a goblin siege.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Komra

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5113 on: September 30, 2011, 01:49:39 pm »

Off topic: Hi i'm new  :D

On topic: While extending a cistern trying to prevent a flood, i accidentally channeled down to my workshops, causing a vast wave of !!FUN!! *facepalm*

Unless it was a magma cistern, it's just regular Fun. !! indicates being on fire. Anyway, welcome.
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

AWdeV

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5114 on: September 30, 2011, 04:32:34 pm »

It should be ~~fun~~ to indicate it's soggy. The tildes represent waves. :P

Welcome tho'.
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