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[Aiyon]

Facepalm moment?
20 highly trained soldiers being killed by a giant toad... and failing to wound it.

How the moment was salvaged?
A lone metalworker, who I'd named Chuck beforehand as a joke, since his last name was similar to "norris"... takes on the toad with no armour or weapons and survives having his head beat up a bit... eventually passing out but wounding the toad such that it runs away.
He then gets up. He leads my militia now.

[Berserkenstein]

I just made 765 kaolinite blocks which was all of my kaolinite, then I read about pottery on the wiki. 

[Shimmler]

A wild horse wandered in my fortress not so long ago. Big deal. Then I've got tired of all the job cancelation messages.
To hell with her, my militia will kill it, thought i. Ten dwarves (but only one with the axe, others are barehanded) would be more than enough.
It's just a horse, right?
WRONG
Sholidibruk the badass dwarf-slayer it was called after it struck down half of my militia, with axe-dwarf captain being it's first victim. After killing about 15 dwarves and !strangling! a war dog, it was killed by miner gone berserk. I kind of understand the little  guy.
Now the fortress rapidly succumbs to the tantrum spiral. The abovementioned miner is killing everything in his path.

Time to reclaim the fortress of Snakesoils...

[Akaens]

I had a squad of 4 recruits lead by a top-tier hunter all armed with crossbows, quivers and bolts (designated for training and combat).
I would have trained them to at least novice marksdwarves to get the benefits of fortifications, but even setting the proper ranges and setting their squad to train on the archery targets (as well as jumping through the flaming hoops known as scheduling), I couldn't get them to sit down and shoot at the target. 
So along come goblin siege.  No worries, I'll station that squad in my tower and let them potshot the incoming gobs.  Nope.  They all mill around and refuse to approach the fortifications at all, even though there are clearly hostiles on the other side.  My hunter (what a champ) took care of them as if saying "See newbies?  This is how it's done,"  while everyone else stood there joking about cats.

[Mister Dirks]

Heres a water pressure one that happened a while back.

I decided to make a rather large cistern on my 2nd fort, deep underground. As I finally got the water flowing and miners to safety, I was rather proud, and kinda forgot about it, and started to manage something else. Then I see: Urist Mcfarmer has drowned. Wut? so i look and the dining hall and everything below was being flooded. I was a sad panda 

[imperium3]

My second aquifer breach has sat around inactive and half-done for ages because first I didn't have enough pumps to do it speedily, then I had the pumps but not enough patience and available dwarves. Looked at it today and thought "oh, if only I could find enough dwarves to run all those pumps". I glance up slightly, and six tiles away is the power generator for my magma stack...

[Kaleb702 Games]

I made a reservoir. AKA: River with a floodgate'd tunnel. Floodgate controlled by one lever. Dwarf pulls the lever, the reservoir fills fine... But then it overflows. Barely, only to 1/7, and it all evaporated afterwards, but still, that was STUPID of me. Good thing I had the Dwarf close the floodgate.

[ThatAussieGuy]

Always check what the season is before turning your full-to-bursting reservoir into a water cannon.  I knew it it gush out, but it's a tad embarrassing when it freezes right outside the channel.  (The reservoir itself is just inside the base of a mountain)

[moki]

I wanted to try this danger room thingy everybody is talking about... in true and complete dwarfiness, I didn't read the wiki first and just built the whole thing with menacing wooden spikes instead of wooden training spears. Oh well, I guess there will be new migrants next year and my doctor got some training as well. Basically everything went great, though not as expected.

[krisslanza]

Just started a new embark and was starting to mine down, get my keep built... then I noticed everyone was thirsty. The stream was currently frozen over, so I took a peek at my stocks. I completely forgot to actually start my embark with any drink, whoops!

[imperium3]

Always check whether the prison door is locked before dropping armed goblins into it...

[Brackev]

Forgotten Beasts can appear ANYWHERE on the cavern layer.

-Captain Urnst "Nothing can get past our defences."
-Soldier "Sir, Forgotten Beast has arrived."
-Captain Urnst "Let the traps get him."
-Soldier "The traps didn't get him."
-Captain Urnst "Then the bridge will get him."
-Soldier "The Bridge didn't didn't get him."
-Captain Urnst "Then he is badly hurt, right?"
-Soldier "That's a negative. Not a scratch."
-Captain Urnst "How?"
-Soldier "He spawned on our central stairway.  Turn around and say hi to him."
*corrosive blood spilt in the meeting hall*
*many deaths*

[Niccolo]

Dwarves on break are determined to ignore you, no matter what. Their stupidity is so truly mind-boggling it's a wonder evolution lets them exist at all.

Case in point: I had an ambush, so I set everyone to run for the main hall and seal the gate using a burrow alert. Normally, this is ironclad. Apparently I'm playing with soft iron.

My jeweller and my farmer decide that this is the best time off they've ever had and run outside to go play in the sand. Because the jeweller was useful, I decided to open the gate and send the military out.

Well, two axedwarves and two recruits ran out, wearing noting but cloth and armed with no more than angry words.

Net result: All my livestock dead, half my militia gone (including, perplexingly, a mechanic who I wasn't even aware was in the military), three dead goblins out of fifteen and one moron still running around picking herbs.

Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

[Masta Crouton]

cotton candy sutures.


wtf.

[Lezard]

Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

It means that things can't be butchered and milked...better off removing it.