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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210128 times)

Agent_Irons

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4800 on: July 30, 2011, 04:48:53 pm »

Aquifers typically exist on a specific range of z-levels.  If you can get beneath it, you can have all the stone you want.  If you want to get through and you have no stone, you can build pumps out of wood.  It is, however, much easier to punch through aquifers if the aquifer is in stone as smoothed stone doesn't drip.
TIL smoothed stone doesn't drip.

*facepalm*
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kaypo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4801 on: July 30, 2011, 07:35:00 pm »

Well, it all started on a hot summer day, I was playing Dwarf fortress, same old, same old, I've been playing this specific one for about a week, got a full regiment of troops all ironclad in armor, I didn't have much in the way of livestock only a few yaks, and some pets that the migrants brought along. Well I neglected said yaks for about 3 months, they had nothing to eat, so yak A decides to attack yak B, so yak B gets angrier than yak A, Yak B then attacks donkey A, Donkey A then proceeds to hit Fire mephit A (yes I am playing the ironhand genesis mod) Fire mephit A feels threatened, and starts blasting fire everywhere, I knew at this point what had happened, but I did not notice that cat A was caught on fire and heading straight for my fortress... whilst on fire cat A ran to its owner, who was the brewer of the fort and was taking ale to the food stockpile, the cat catches said dwarf on fire, the ale erupts into fire and explodes, along with all the other ale in the food stockpile, while the cat was still running around catching everything and its mother on fire. And thus dwarf A and B died, the husband of dwarf B, dwarf C becomes pissed, and punches dwarf D, dwarf D fights back, and kills dwarf B, the friends of dwarf B were either enraged or stricken with melancholy (he had ALOT of friends). Dwarf E (friends with dwarf B) attacks and kills dwarf F, Dwarf F's wife, dwarfette G gets angry as fuck and attacks and kills Dwarf E, and so on, and so on..... long story short, my fortress died, all I could do was stare and watch, with my jaw slacked...
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MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4802 on: July 30, 2011, 07:41:23 pm »

Welcome to the Tantrum Spiral!
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Leatra

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4803 on: July 30, 2011, 07:49:40 pm »

Tantrums are !!Fun!! to watch :D
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jc6036

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4804 on: July 30, 2011, 09:23:30 pm »

I haven't had a single spiral ever. "Urist, I regret to inform you that. . .that. . .your entire family has been lit on fire and left to rot in the booze stockpile. . .im so sorry. . ."   Urist:"Pfffshaw, who neads family? Look at this dining room, and those chairs! And those engravings of burning elves! Its. . Its. . . .Legendary!"
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Tyler6498

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4805 on: July 30, 2011, 09:58:19 pm »

I haven't had a single spiral ever. "Urist, I regret to inform you that. . .that. . .your entire family has been lit on fire and left to rot in the booze stockpile. . .im so sorry. . ."   Urist:"Pfffshaw, who neads family? Look at this dining room, and those chairs! And those engravings of burning elves! Its. . Its. . . .Legendary!"

This. Every fort.
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I play adventure mode because it's hard and when I play, I am too.
I believe we're talking about full scale colonisation here.  You don't just leave all your shit in the van when you move house.

dwarfhoplite

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4806 on: July 31, 2011, 04:16:33 pm »

oh my fucking hell. i was practicing swimming with my adventurer when suddenly winter arrived on calendar
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OniRyo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4807 on: July 31, 2011, 08:23:31 pm »

Never had any real face palm moments.... except ya know, that tiny little !!EPIC!! failure I lost my fort to a booze-lacking tantrum spiral. It went something like this:

I didn't run out of booze because I wasn't watching my supplies, no that would be too simple of a careless mistake to warrant a full on face-palming (also simple enough to recover from assuming they hadn't gone too long). I managed to have no empty barrels (a running theme in my forts apparently). So i use the manager screen to order 30 barrels made (had nothing else for the carpenters or manager to do). Crisis averted? Not by a long shot, see apparently my woodcutters all got slaughtered in a goblin ambush and I didn't realize. I also had no wood I found out when I went to check on the barrel progress and it was still reading 30/30. So here I am with no wood, no cutters, and not knowing I could make STONE POTS (irony: having 2 legendary masons and realizing you can have them do the very thing you need atm). So I had to assign some cutters, no biggie. Got enough wood to make the hippie bastards Elfs drop dead as soon as they arrived due to pure shock yet still no barrels being made. Turns out the dwarf who had gone tantrum due to lack of drink by this point (among other minor things like his pet dying from over-crowd fighting in the pen) happened to be one of my military's best and he had killed my carpenter's friend or whatever which set off a small spiral. Set EVERYONE to carpenter to make some stupid barrels in hopes that I could at least get enough drink going to maybe contain things before it all went boom. Would have worked great, except some where in all this my farmer/brewer died as well.

So some good bit of praying to amok later (or really whatever diety would be so inclined to save the fort - i figured with my fort's tendency of butchering goblins in massive blood shed amok owed me one so I started there), I finally got some drink flow going, managed to contain the spiral and all things seemed all nice and good on the road to recovery except no one was drinking. You see, about 90% of my population had gone from thirsty to dehydrated by this point and apparently dehydrated Dwarfs need water and not booze. Not a problem except that pesky little thing called winter freezing ALL sources of water! So everyone died of thirst before it thawed except a couple - who were butchered by the tantruming dehydrated dwarfs.

All my forts end in spirals so far. "Before you die.... you will see: The Spiral!" should be the motto for my forts I swear... I think I nearly broke my nose from the face-palming which occurred during this entire thing.

The only thing more dangerous than a goblin siege, forgotten syndrome beasts, megabeasts and a magma-flood (unintentionally inside your base) all striking at once: A single unhappy sober dwarf with near-legendary combat skills. =/


...I love DF because not only is losing fun, it's outright epic when you do it right even ESPECIALLY when its from ridiculously non-epic things that create a endless chain of chaos in their wake which in turn become epic! :D
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This is the bottom of the post. Reading beyond this point is pointless. Seriously why are you still reading? Am I the last post on this thread or something? Then you should be replying instead of reading this! ....still reading? You were that baby who fell during that cave in weren't you? (sigh) Seriously, stop reading and start replying or move onto the next post. There is NOTHING of interest here... except the secret easter egg of <classified>. Pretty awesome huh? NOW MOVE ON ALREADY!!!

Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4808 on: July 31, 2011, 08:51:52 pm »

>.>
Stone pots need stonecrafters, not masons.

Dehydrated dwarves will drink booze, but it takes them a long time to drink from a barrel and if everybody's thirsty you need enough for the whole fortress. Next time, make waterskins and put everyone in a squad. Refilling a waterskin takes a few ticks and not a few days like drinking from a barrel, and they'll fill up on water if there isn't enough booze.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

OniRyo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4809 on: July 31, 2011, 11:30:16 pm »

Ah......well I probably had a few stone crafters anyway but yeah, didn't even know stone pots existed at the time let alone what they did.

Good to know about the water skins being fast, should save a lot of dwarfs next time :) (or at least enough to hold out till the immigrants come to repopulate). When I got the booze flow going again I think I had maybe 40 units worth tops to spread among 80+ dwarfs by the time they started dropping/spiraling so that's probably why I thought they wouldn't drink it while dehydrated. I'm surprised they didn't die of thirst WHILE drinking (which has happened in one of my forts, dude dropped on his way to get drink. Sick thing is he was literally right next to the food storage with all the booze.)
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This is the bottom of the post. Reading beyond this point is pointless. Seriously why are you still reading? Am I the last post on this thread or something? Then you should be replying instead of reading this! ....still reading? You were that baby who fell during that cave in weren't you? (sigh) Seriously, stop reading and start replying or move onto the next post. There is NOTHING of interest here... except the secret easter egg of <classified>. Pretty awesome huh? NOW MOVE ON ALREADY!!!

Mister Dirks

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4810 on: July 31, 2011, 11:43:36 pm »

As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.



Boy was i wrong.
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Every village = Farm plots
Vegetables grow and wither...
Thats about 100 tiles of dead food...

NECROMANCY, RAISE THE VEGETABLES!
WE WILL RULE THE WORLD THROUGH HEALTHY GOODNESS!!

Mount

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4811 on: August 01, 2011, 01:23:58 am »

As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.



Boy was i wrong.

That... looks like the forgotten beast punched out all your blood... from ALL your dwarfs.

Mister Dirks

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4812 on: August 01, 2011, 01:42:10 am »

As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.



Boy was i wrong.

That... looks like the forgotten beast punched out all your blood... from ALL your dwarfs.

Was a nasty little bugger, a gigantic quadrapod made of ice. Also it had wings. by the way, that orange arrow is the last remaining surviver, who later on went insane and killed the horses and 2 cats, before the FB came back and annihilated him, and everything else.

EDIT: Also forgot to mention he had the deadly dust breath attack. Which, also, blew dwarfs into walls, smashing them into oblivion
« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 02:55:00 am by Mister Dirks »
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Every village = Farm plots
Vegetables grow and wither...
Thats about 100 tiles of dead food...

NECROMANCY, RAISE THE VEGETABLES!
WE WILL RULE THE WORLD THROUGH HEALTHY GOODNESS!!

HoboWithAGlock

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4813 on: August 01, 2011, 02:24:23 am »

As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.



Boy was i wrong.

Were you using the new Mars world generation?
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Mister Dirks

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4814 on: August 01, 2011, 02:53:05 am »

As i was progressing wonderfully through my cave challenge fort, a very mean little forgotten beast showed up. I did not know that they exist on the first cavern level.



Boy was i wrong.

Were you using the new Mars world generation?

Nope, dont even know what your talking about  :D. i am using the Dig Deeper GOLD mod though
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Every village = Farm plots
Vegetables grow and wither...
Thats about 100 tiles of dead food...

NECROMANCY, RAISE THE VEGETABLES!
WE WILL RULE THE WORLD THROUGH HEALTHY GOODNESS!!
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