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[Flaming Monkey]

So I decided to play some Dwarf Fortress and loaded up a save from a few months ago.  While playing a seige comes along.  I think to myself "Ha ha target practice", but these gobbos were quick and were at my gates before my military could get to their battlements.  The ragedorfs casually tore them apart of course.  However I still needed to raise the gates, but nary had a clue which levr to pull so I went about pulling them one by one.  Up top the gobbos were just routing and my sword dorfs gave chase.  Just as half of a squad of sworddorfs get to the bridge the gates close crushing 4 sworddorfs and a marksdorf.  The sworddorfs are replaceable, the marksdorf not so much because he was the one who made settling in the region even possble and he was the one I gifted a artifact crossbow to for his service to the fort.

Now...now I can't even place his corpse in a tomb.  Lesson learned, leave notes.

[Eoganachta]

I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).

Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 

[/nerdom]

It's a pitty that you cannot weaponize Sarcophagi and do a vampire themed fortress.
Elf McPansy has been encased in a Sarcophagus.

[Niccolo]

I remember once accidentally making a bunch of wooden caskets by mistake. Then I realised I couldn't horrify Elves from beyond the grave by burying them in the caskets... I was sad that day.

However, I have also recently learned one should not cut off one's access to the outside world completely unless one means to.

That was a close one.

[Musashi]

I had one hundred and ninety two dwarves. Long story short, big siege, I have twenty left. I had anticipated a bad tantrum spiral to finish them off. ...As it turns out, none of them like anyone except the other survivors anyway. So now I'm stuck with a tremendous fort that they aren't numerous enough to keep up properly, no one wants to migrate cause the place is a death hole, and I have a huge number of ghosts because I can't get together enough sarcophagi for my dead dwarves (in retrospect, when I had planned a large catacomb, I should've actually done it).

Did you know that "Sarcophagus" means "Flesh Eater"? The greeks called the stone Sarcophagi "lithos sarkophagos" meaning "Stone flesh eater". So you're technically feeding the dead to stone flesheaters
 

[/nerdom]

It's a pitty that you cannot weaponize Sarcophagi and do a vampire themed fortress.
Elf McPansy has been encased in a Sarcophagus.

You can do the opposite, though. Encase someone in obsidian, mine out a boulder (holding presumably the victim's remains inside), and make a coffin out of it. Close enough. 

[Mystery]

Cage'd a dragon i was immediately in love with the idea of having a pet dragon. After taming the dragon i decided to let it freely roam around my fort in case it spots some pesky goblins somewhere he shouldn't be. He did find a pesky goblin, in the most populated hallway of the fort (You might see where this is going), After biting the goblins arm off then clawing some faces off, then knocking out the goblin. The day was saved all was good again, then the dragon breathed fire, twice. 13 flaming dwarfs died, the most of a 9x9 stockpile of food was gone, almost all of my workshop area was burnt to the ground and the bloody goblin lived.

Marked the stupid dragon for slaughter, revenge is a dish best served in-a-way-that-makes-up-for-all-the-food-it-made-me-lose-and-feeds-my-fortress-through-the-winter.       

[Mr Frog]

Okay, so let's hypothesize that you are attempting to mod a race of dinosaur men into your Dwarf Fortress game. Not wanting to bother with actually learning how tissue layers and other stuff works, you just copy the entry of the first pre-existing reptilian critter you can find and add/remove/change/misspell tags as necessary.

However, upon genning a world and creating an adventurer of this new species, you find that, no matter what weapon skill you start with, you never have any equipment. Which course of action do you take?

A: Conclude that Toady didn't anticipate players attempting to create a race that can't use whips, and that this would, through unexplainable broken-script voodoo, prevent a sword user from getting equipment. Add in whips. Gen new world. Add in scourges. Gen new world. Copy equip list from ENTITY:PLAINS wholesale. Gen new world. Despair.
B: Assume that you made a mistake with the entity tags somewhere that somehow prevents adventurers from getting equipment. Decide that looking around to find this mistake would take too damn long. Copy the entirety of ENTITY:PLAINS over, overwriting your carefully-thought-out SELECT_SYMBOL tags, ETHIC tags, and leader positions. Gen new world. Cry like a newborn.
C: Look through the creature definition. Realize that you forgot to add [EQUIPS]. Slam head into nearby objects as needed.

[uwaiawu]

So I got my first Dragon on a save. In eager anticipation I pull my civvies into their hideyhole, get my military into position behind my traps and wait for the epic fight to happen, half expecting the Dragon would probably send my fort into a downward spiral.

Instead I get this:

The spinning bauxite strikes the Dragon in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Dragon has been knocked unconscious!

  sigh...I'll send my military out to see if there is something left to poke at.

[xmagicx60]

I thought I could make some drinking water by tunneling to an underground murky pool...

what I overlooked is that water flows down passages and so I flooded 6 workshops before I blocked the flow with walls... I barely saved a wood and goods stockpile. Now I've gotten rid of the workshops and turned the place into a underground farm.

[newguy12354]

My high master glass maker(an immigrant) get a mood. Sadly, I didn't trade for any glass and in all honesty, I didn't want to bother making any because this dwarf was not really useful in my book other than his starting skills in glass making. He was a soaper too and a cheese maker, so I said, meh...

Error #1

After a few minutes, I decided... Why not try and give him the material? I destroyed the walls around the workshop and then started trying to make some glass for him. I had to make the charcoal and crap to start the industry, seeing as I have no magma to work with yet.

Error #2

The dwarf goes crazy shortly after, he is raving mad, but he isn't really troublesome. He climbed down into my mining hallways and kinda got lost there, so I said he'll eventually die down there without causing any problem, so I left it at that.

Error #3

The elven caravan comes along to trade and I really needed the wood (I started in a place where there are around 50 trees at all time on a 3x3 embark), usually, I'd just steal everything, but it has been a very long time since I played DF, so I decided not to make them angry right away... I trade the wood, everyone goes well, when my mad dwarf climbs all the way back up to the surface, topples the trade depot while the merchants are on it and goes back into my mining hallways. What a b****...

Result

Well, I guess I'll be looking into FUN very soon!

[foop]

I thought I found a nice embark site.  Then the first two things in the log are:

You have located G„rem Midor, "The General of Power", a shrine.
Tholtig Regzim, Miner cancels Pickup Equipment: Interrupted by Bronze Colossus.

It's not even a mercifully quick end.  Halfway through the fight, the Colossus picked up someone's sock and is now trying to beat the two remaining dwarves to death with it.

The Bronze Colossus strikes The expedition leader in the head with its (llama wool sock), bruising the muscle through the (guineafowl leather cap)!

[Jacob/Lee]

The Keeper Civ The Musical Confederacy worshipped a deity named Calvaria, the sphere of control?

Suicide 

The ironic part is they were the only surviving Keeper civ and the second most populous race in the world...

[MaximumZero]

You have located G„rem Midor, "The General of Power", a shrine.

Wait, what? Never seen anything like that before.

[Niccolo]

The Bronze Colossus strikes The expedition leader in the head with its (llama wool sock), bruising the muscle through the (guineafowl leather cap)!

They like doing this. Bronze Colossi have a thing for beating dwarves with socks. I'm not sure why.

[Jacob/Lee]

I suppose due to how massive they are, they are easily capable of wrestling clothes off puny dwarves. They just have some fetish for socks, going as far as beating dwarves to death with them.

[Rockphed]

The Keeper Civ The Musical Confederacy worshipped a deity named Calvaria, the sphere of control?

Suicide 

The ironic part is they were the only surviving Keeper civ and the second most populous race in the world...

Obviously their deity expressed her power by making people who refuse to worship her so miserable they commit suicide.  I figure it involves following them around being annoying.

Kinda like how a Dwarven God of consolation is associated with alcohol.