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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210108 times)

Necro910

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4470 on: May 17, 2011, 04:53:01 pm »
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 17, 2011, 11:36:03 am
AND HE WAS SOILING HIS MAGIC HANDS WITH HAULING. D:
Those words... in that order...

It does not sound sanitary at all.
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FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4471 on: May 18, 2011, 08:04:43 am »
Wise man say, don't blame me for your dirty mind.
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Serrational

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4472 on: May 18, 2011, 10:10:52 am »
Quote from: FrisianDude on May 18, 2011, 08:04:43 am
Wise man say, don't blame me for your dirty mind.
Dwarf man say, burn them all. Aaaaall of them.
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Quote from: Ieb on December 08, 2011, 06:27:16 am
I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked.

The_Final_Stand

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4473 on: May 18, 2011, 12:27:16 pm »
One of my hunters just went crundle hunting and ran into a pack of them. I ordered my military down there to avenge him since he had taken some wounds to the heart and lungs, not to mention being covered in bruises and I figured he was about to die. But no. Instead he gets the crundles to leave him alone for a while and heals most of his wounds. Particularly the ones to the heart and lungs. By the time the military gets there and massacres the crundles, the hunter has decided to walk off to the hospital. He has been wounded in the lung again- a blue injury indicating loss of function- along with loads of bruises. By the time he reaches the bottom of the stairwell, he has healed the lung injury and most of the bruises as well.

Amusingly, he is labelled as "Not a risk taker".
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shadenight123

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4474 on: May 18, 2011, 12:55:13 pm »
that's wolverine you got there. rename him wolverine and make him a wrestler of legendary skills.
than an axelord.
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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.

Wastedlabor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4475 on: May 18, 2011, 04:00:43 pm »
Six novice miners decided to break their limbs volunteered for medical research at the same time when they were removing ramps that were being mined from below.
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Quote from: scrdest on July 19, 2014, 03:41:19 am
Quote from: shevtsov200 on July 19, 2014, 02:52:41 am
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on July 19, 2014, 01:07:54 am
He stole an onion. Off with his head.
I wonder, what would they do if someone killed their king.
Inevitable, who cares. Now an onion...

saker112

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4476 on: May 18, 2011, 07:21:21 pm »
This just happened. I embarked to a volcano last night, and got too distracted by the fact that I could set up magma forges and such to set up some basic buildings, namely a still. However, I had embarked with a lot of alcohol, so it wasn't too bad. While playing today, I got several waves of migrants even before the first caravan showed up, but forgot that I forgot to make a still. These used up my alcohol reserves until I see

Urist Mcdwarf has died from thirst.
Urist Mcdwarf has died from thirst.

I was confused at first, but quickly made a still.

Urist Mclegendaryengraver has died from thirst.

NOOOO!! It's ok, we can do this. My brewer gets to the still, starts building, and I see

Urist Mcbrewer has died from thirst.

/facepalm

I got the still up eventually, but still. <-unintentional pun
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Quote from: cerapa on November 29, 2009, 01:14:28 pm
Quote from: Blackburn on November 29, 2009, 01:05:57 pm
I think we've gotten a little off-topic...
I think this perfectly illustrates how crazy dwarf fortress has made us.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4477 on: May 19, 2011, 12:47:30 am »
Woah, check your stocks a bit more often. :P
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Angel Of Death

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4478 on: May 19, 2011, 09:56:15 am »
I left my dwarfs on the surface and forgot to burrow all of them. They were mauled to death by rhinos.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
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Hidden signature messages are fun!

Niccolo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4479 on: May 19, 2011, 10:54:24 am »
I swear, goblin crossbows are fucking lethal.

That's it, I'm training up a squad of crossbowmen. I don't care how undwarvenly the things are - I'm sick of my men being pincushions.
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Quote from: highmax28 on October 17, 2013, 11:33:59 pm
Quote from: itg on October 17, 2013, 11:02:21 pm
What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

James.Denholm

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4480 on: May 19, 2011, 11:19:32 am »
Quote from: Niccolo on May 19, 2011, 10:54:24 am
I swear, goblin crossbows are fucking lethal.

That's it, I'm training up a squad of crossbowmen. I don't care how undwarvenly the things are - I'm sick of my men being pincushions.

It's official, people - crossbow build-ups are metaphors for the Cold War. Except that they actually get used, of course.
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Imagine a combination of power goals 44 and 45: The ruler convenes a council of the nobles to appoint you the high priest of the nearby towns. Instead of waiting for them to finish their drinking session, you walk in and crush a goblet while berating their disgusting behaviour and general incompetence.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4481 on: May 19, 2011, 12:09:29 pm »
Vabok Arrowfences is married to Zan Boltgates. D:
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Megaman3321

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4482 on: May 19, 2011, 12:32:07 pm »
I disable all of the fishermen's duties because of a siege that just came. I then assign them to a burrow. But instead of fleeing to safety (or doing what I told them to and USE THE FISHING PIT THAT I DESIGNATED THAT WAS IN A SAFE LOCATION), they go "eh, screw the siege! Imma catch that fish if it's the last thing I do!"

*facepalm*

They're lucky my militia commander is so fast and able to singlehandedly beat back 3 squads of gobbos :P
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Glacial on dwarves being assigned socks:
Quote
You see, here's how I think this works:
Overseer: Welcome to the military! You need to wear socks! Dorf: Oh, I should get military socks. My socks are civilian socks. Dorf discards socks Dorf: You know, I need a whole lot of gear now. I should get socks... last. Oh, but these steel boots with the white goo on them are nice!
I know you can pick up water, then throw said water, while underwater, to kill a fish -He_Silent_H

ggamer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4483 on: May 19, 2011, 05:58:51 pm »
I remember a while back, one of my most successfull military swarves and a Legendary miner were stuck in a mausoleum, because I had unwittingly destroyed the stairs.

Of course, I couldn't tell.

When I do find out, I quickly build some stairs, and pray that my milidorf makes it. He finally walks up to the F/D stockpile...

And dies of hunger.

FUCK.
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Necro910

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4484 on: May 19, 2011, 06:16:41 pm »
Three hundred pages? This is madness!

Madness....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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