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[shadenight123]

the merchants have settled down.
*anyone may trade*
...
...
the merchants are embarking on their journey.
...
...
"zzzzzz huh? not my fault chief, we were all sleepy, and hungry, and thirsty, and we love Smoothing stone. And engraving it. And you know, carpentry and the like, and hauling is tough too..."
...
... magma for all of you.

Put anyone to trade, and then make the trade depot its own burrow.  And then assign a random dwarf to said burrow.

oh. i simply chose a random dwarf and removed any possible work from him, so he only eats and drinks and when a caravan appears there he goes.
might try the burrow thing.

another facepalm moment:
"damp stone located"
*yeah! moat time!*
*dig dig dig dig*
*remove area of damp stone...no acquifer. O_O
mcuristdigger:"i'm sorry chief...i know you wanted an acquifer but..."
mcuristchief:*facepalm*

[Kraftwerk]

My biggest lately was when I realized that when Tutorials say press S for squad, they don't mean on the military screen. It's no wonder I couldn't kill things using the Scheduling screen...

And later when I realized that the cave invaders weren't going around my wall, I had simply left another area unguarded.

[UnrealJake]

The giantess Takru Lecituce Besosas has come! A giagantic creature resembling a human, almost unparalled in size.

Alright, archers at the battlements, my military at the gates, the traders have just come in side, let's do this... Why is one of my marksdwarves running at it? "Pick up equiptment" Hmmm, I should probably just let him go, he's going to grab a bolt and run...

No, he got crushed when he charged the bloody thing.

I hate marksdwarves more and more now.

[VeriDF]

I have just started extracting Adamantine, and there are some wounded dwarfs in my fortress. I saw one of my suturers suturing with adamantine strands.

:| Asshole.

[Sarda]

Magma him.

[Kogut]

Well, I thought that siege weapons are more effective.

[zakkeh]

I'm a newb, so I'm quite happy to hide from Forgotten Beasts until I have a large number of military dwarves of Legendary stature, so when I noticed a flying, poison gas spewing beast coming out of the depths, I immediately floored the up/down staircase on that z level.

Now, it turns out that if you floor an up/down staircase, it becomes unusable from anywhere, unlike I thought that it would just cut the down part off...So for a season or two a number of dwarves were stuck near my magma pool!

[UnrealJake]

I'm a newb, so I'm quite happy to hide from Forgotten Beasts until I have a large number of military dwarves of Legendary stature, so when I noticed a flying, poison gas spewing beast coming out of the depths, I immediately floored the up/down staircase on that z level.

Now, it turns out that if you floor an up/down staircase, it becomes unusable from anywhere, unlike I thought that it would just cut the down part off...So for a season or two a number of dwarves were stuck near my magma pool!

"So... thirsty!" "Don't do it Urist!" "But I have too... I'm so, so thirsty" "You can't though! You wont survive!" "I MUST! SO THIRSTY"

Urist McPowerThirst has burned to death.

[shadenight123]

*a wave of migrants have arrived*
+22.
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+19
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+16.
"the mayor is making a mandate"...
wait...I have a mayor!? since when?!
and a captain of the guard also. what the hell...
i alway thought nobles came with immigrants, never thought that the "expedition leader" would evolve like a pokemon into a bitchering noble...going to magma him.
but i can't. she's a woman. a married woman, with child, who is also my captain of the guard. Now that's favoritism.

[Musashi]

*a wave of migrants have arrived*
+22.
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+19
"a wave of migrants have arrived"
+16.
"the mayor is making a mandate"...
wait...I have a mayor!? since when?!
and a captain of the guard also. what the hell...
i alway thought nobles came with immigrants, never thought that the "expedition leader" would evolve like a pokemon into a bitchering noble...going to magma him.
but i can't. she's a woman. a married woman, with child, who is also my captain of the guard. Now that's favoritism.

Now, that's Fun®, you mean. 
A more diplomatic way to do it is ensure the mayor stops seeing people. Lock her in a part of the fort with clever use of burrows, and dump enough stuff for her to survive. Soon enough, her social skills will deteriorate, and another dwarf's will pick up. When there are enough idle dwarfs, a more social dwarf will be elected in her place, and she will be able to leave her burrow again and become a harmless civilian.
That, or you can just [r]eplace her, which will only last as long as the next elections, anyway.

[Tetragenic]

Best way of disposing of a room of vermin remains? Obviously magma. What I didn't think of is how to get the magma out again *facepalm*

Best way of disposing of a useless mayor who sleeps all the time? Magma. Now how do I get the magma out of his room... as it's in the middle of my main meeting hall. *facepalm*

[Serrational]

Ah yes, and you sealed off your room of Masterwork glass giant-spinny-discs. And all your gems.

[Bathunter]

I had a fortress between two rivers that forked into one (Dwarf fortress logic, everyone!). In order to hold off sieges until I had an army of legendary military dwarves, I put two drawbridges and connected them to one lever.

One day, a vile force of darkness came. I had a small military, well-trained, but unable to hold off the huge amount of waves of goblins. And I really needed the iron equipment and weapons. So, I figured, "Why not pull the level twice? Some goblins will make it across, then the bridge will close, and the other goblins will have to wait while I butcher their friends. Divide them and conquer them."

So Urist McLazy walks over and pulls the lever once. Then he thought "Me sleepy" and went to bed.

He was the last one to become a pincushion...

Never base your entire defensive plan on one dwarf.

[Kogut]

Never base your entire defensive plan on dwarves.

fixed?

[UnrealJake]

Hmmm, it's been a while since my last siege, let's check who is outside my fort... Ahhh, not much, my legendary miner is a fair bit away but I HIGHLY doubt anything is going to happen... how funny would it be if I got a sie-OH FOR FUCKS SAFE DWARF FORTRESS