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[Thor]

You guys must be having terrible luck.
I only have copper on my map so my first year militia was adorned head to toe in copper plate. Just one dorf, Ast Icefortress managed to defeat an entire herd of the giant badgers, If you have better metals, I don't understand why you're losing ANY dwarves to these foul beasts.

Though when you get mad dwarves activating levers in your Giant badger zoo, with a dollop of Ettin suprise; It's not as easy.

[Singularity-SRX]

Trying to set up a farming area, and forgets to put a floodgate.
My entire fortress is being  slowly slowly flooded.

[edit]
Turns out it was just going to flood part of my main corridoor
Hasn't flooded my fort, and everything is still going along smoothly, so everything's alright.

[Necro910]

"Urist McRandomdwarf has become possessed!"

Ok, looks like he's a Bowyer, oh cool! I haven't gotten an artifact weapon before. Need to make sure this goes to a good marksdwarf!
.
.
.
"Urist McRandomdwarf has created Gebzagod, a candlenut bow!"

Welp, guess I better start buying some arrows...

I think you just got trolled by a dwarf.

[Yoink]

In my fort, two of my earliest artifacts were: A blowgun and a bow. Grr!
So I drafted the losers who made them, and sent them up against forgotten beasts.
They actually both have at least one kill on them, which is pretty cool!... Although both the makers are long dead, now. I think all my starting 7 is dead, my fort has pretty much been just one looong, very fun facepalm moment.

[MonkeyHead]

2 fey gem cutters BOTH CREATING A PERFECT ROCK CRYSTAL! encrusted WITH ROCK CRYSTAL! they were for my glassworker, you fucking idiots.

Both of you report to the suici... I mean, marksdwarf squad now.

[RedKing]

Had a gorgeous embark with a magma pipe. Only one slight problem, a pretty sizeable aquifer. Was digging out the area to be the magma plumbing for my forges, when I must have hit damp stone.

Crap. Well, ok...evacuate the area and we'll try digging out a different area. Somewhere along the line, I kept trying to fix the problem, and instead made it worse, to where now it was flooding the level above where the forges were going to go. And then flooding into an open passage that overlooked the magma pipe. Okay, I thought...I'll make this work as a quick obsidian generator, and then I can build my forges directly on the cap.

So the waterfall spills out, and according to plan, proceeds to cap the entire thing in obsidian (and revealing the magma layer by way of chunks of fresh obsidian breaking off and sinking 100+ Z-levels before melting completely). Unfortunately, when I tried to wall off the flow, it had already gotten too deep, and my masons refused to work there. Pretty soon, my obsidian-capped magma pipe was at the bottom of a medium-sized lake.

[Dinkum]

Buy Yak from Elves.
See Yak hungry in dining room.
Send Yak to pasture.
Yak dies one step from pasture.

[Samuel]

You'd think a goblin crossbowman and a blind cave ogre would harbor at least a tiny bit of hostility for each other, especially if caged, sealed into a tiny room, then released right next to each other. But they're pretty much just hanging out in there, presumably working together to plot revenge.

[Oliolli]

"Urist McWeaponsmith enters a strange mood!"

Gathers adamantine, gold, aluminum, silver, platinum, diamonds, silk, elephat bone etc etc etc.

"Urist McWeaponsmith has completed Al Nirmek, a adamantine warhammer"

I hate that guy.

[Urist_McArathos]

I'd spent four in game years on a .19 embark with, as far as I could tell, no flux or sand.  I scraped by with iron, but only what I could dig up.  There was no fuel or anything, so I busted my ass trying to use my goblinite (which was copper) for traps and begging my liaison for all the flux,sand, and steel he could send, because my iron outfitted soldiers were literally dying by the squad in sieges.  I want to build a glass-ceiling greenhouse, but the project is becoming like a megaproject from the sheer difficulty in acquiring more sand.  After five years I have two squads with full iron and their leaders in steel, and I chase off an ambush that threatened my caravan.

Urist McSquadleader chases a goblin across the map to a tiny corner I missed, and kills him.  I view the area to see if I got silver or copper from this goblin, and what do I see on the ground?

"Chalk".  Three squares away "White sand".  I send in miners to explore the ground below, and find a MASSIVE chalk vein.

...well, at least NOW we have steel.

[Musashi]

My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...

[GamerKnight]

How did it explode? I want explosions.

[Waterbreath]

I had my expedition leader get into a mood and take hold of the masonry.

He worked and worked.

And made a great artifact, legendary to say the least. Created from finest marble, with it's own, sounding name: "Ledushko". (not sure about the name right now)

It's a

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

door

At first I lol'ed. Then I wept a little. Then I lol'ed again.

[Musashi]

How did it explode? I want explosions.

Well, in the very exact circumstances I described, while holding a lead flask full of alcohol. Suddenly, a big burst of fire and pain. You might want to experiment first by dumping similar flasks into magma.

[TolyK]

My axedwarf invented inadvertently the hand grenade while fighting a giantess in a 1/7 magma pool. (She survived the explosion. The giantess, not the dwarf.)
Two other soldiers have now died trying to retrieve the shiny, burning loot.
Taking your bets as of when they will stop...

I bet they will stop when you forbid it by pressing [ d ] > [ b ] > [ f ] > [ ENTER ] over the tile 

PPE: flasks in alcahol does the trick. barrels kinda work too.